If it's not about whatever I'm talking about or the fact that I have spoken for too long then it's my loud obnoxious laugh, it's how at times I can't control my own breathing and it seems very fitting...that a girl who feels like a burden to all only feels more so like one by trying to be herself around the people who are meant to care the most. If it's not the way I laugh or the way I snort at jokes then it's 'soften your voice, there's no need to be so loud', its 'why are you so excited about this it's just a dog' it's 'I don't care that you created a new recipe' or 'you get excited by too many things'. Why am I trying to hide the best parts of myself, for you? Why am I holding back when there is someone out there that will love all those parts of me that you hate? I have spent years of my life trying to make myself smaller for the people who were only getting colder. Those that were trying to soften out my harsh edges to make me some reflection of themselves, but I am so very square, I cannot be a circle. And I will not be a circle for you.
-how i knew when we were ending
