It's been a year. 365 days. How weird to think, once we were both so in love that we never thought we'd break up, let alone about to be at a year since we did.
We're different people now. Which is also a weird thought. Someone you once knew on the back of your hand is not there anymore. I want to know you. I want to meet the new you. Maybe we'll hit it off. Maybe our souls will find their forever mate in the form of a friend. You aren't ready, and that's okay. I didn't treat you right after it happened. I was horrible. I don't blame you for not being ready. But when you are, come to me. I'll be here, waiting. Welcoming you with a smile and a crazy story with a mocha and one sugar.
We can tell each other everything that's happened over the last year. We can get to know each other again, in this different point of our lives. We can be ourselves without so desperately trying to make the other happy. We can coexist in the same world without fighting.
When will I see you again? Will I ever? Do you think there's a place here on earth for us to coexist? Do you think there's a world where we can actually be friends? The guilt I feel for pushing you away in beginning eats me alive sometimes. At that time in life you really were the love of my life and the best thing to have happened to me. That will never change, you will always own that title. You will always have a piece of me, you will forever hold the old me with you. I haven't lost who I am, I'm just different now, and that's okay. I think you'd still like the new me. I think if anything, you'd actually like her more than the old me.
I see you everywhere around me sometimes. But it no longer brings the pain it once did, I guess that's what time healed. Now I can smile and laugh at the memories we made at a place instead of avoiding it because it was ours. In some ways, some places always will be ours, and I will never take you out of there, but time has healed my wounds. I see you everywhere around me, but now, I no longer cry at it. If you happen to still read these, know that you are always welcome. I will always answer. I will be here. When you're ready, find your way back to me. I'm ready to see my best friend again, I have so many things to tell her, so many things to show her.
I'll be seeing you, pumpkin. Until then, I hope you're okay x
