The Avengers never cared! (Peter Parker X Reader)

Chapter 23 Blame

Pepper pov

When I woke up the morning after the party, I noticed Tony was no longer lying next to me. I got up and dressed so I could look for him. It was a Saturday, so Morgan didn't have to go to school and I could focus on making sure my husband was ok. He immediately went to bed, without saying a word yesterday and I was getting concerned. If you work for Tony as long as I had you get to know which reactions of his are the best and which ones are the worst. Tony and silence never and I mean never went hand in hand, so if he doesn't say something it's worse than you expect it to be in most cases. 

I was still mad at him, for forgetting to pick Morgan up again. And I was going to make sure he'd get his priorities straight. This hadn't been the first time but I thought we had been over that phase, it had turned out we weren't. I do think y/n showing up may have made a big enough impact for him to never forget again. I hoped so at least. But first I had to make sure he was recovering from the shock of yesterday.

It was clear where I would find him, considering he's always at the same place in a crisis. I of course found him working on a new suit in his private lab. For a moment I just watched him peacefully making new parts, adjusting old ones and experiment with designs. He was in his own world as always when he is building suits. This time though he wasn't in his world of suits but in the part of his brain where a storm was tormenting. There was a slip up here and there showing that he didn't sleep well at all the night before and that he wasn't concentrating on his work. 

Before things got out of hand I stepped in and he looked up from his work. "Whatever speech you have planned, I don't think it'll work", he said sadness in his voice. "this is on me I know it"

"You really need someone to talk to", I said softly.

"What should I talk about? That my daughter hates me? That she isn't dead?That I didn't know she was hurting when she lived here? That she let me grieve on purpose? That she contacted Morgan without anybody knowing? That Morgan didn't tell me anything? That I don't know anything about the kids anymore? Pepper I messed up and I don't know where to start. I have no idea when it started. I thought I was doing something right but I think I messed up in every aspect", I heard the betrayal in his voice.

"Yes you need to talk about all that and so much more", I replied. "look, you messed up. Bigtime. All of us did. Nobody knew. We all made mistakes, but we can't change the past. All we can do now is fix what's left and try to build new trust"

He leaned his head against my chest and I stroked his hair. His breathing was very uneven. I myself was wondering about all the times I didn't notice how much y/n was hurting. I could see so many situations now where I could've noticed it but didn't. Why? Did I think y/n was maturing so fast she didn't need anyone? That logic made no sense to me nowadays. Everybody needs somebody to confide in and y/n had nobody. 

...

third person pov

You could hear a pin drop at the breakfast table. Every Avenger, except Tony and Peter, was there and everyone was shocked in their own way. 

Natasha was processing by spinning a butterknife under her index finger. She asked herself what signals she should've picked up on, when y/n was still living in the tower. It was true, she had started to look after her less and less before her disappearance. She hadn't known how much space she should give the teen and probably speculated wrong. Y/n would sit alone on the couch or table and she wouldn't approach her, because she thought y/n didn't need her. She would've blamed the whole thing on the fact that she never really had a childhood. But it was pure cowardice and with her people reading skills she should've known. That much was clear to her. 

Steve had just come back from a run and was just sitting at the table drinking some water. He already excepted, that he was part of why y/n left. He had never really noticed her. She was Tonys daughter, so he never really got involved and therefore also never really connected with her. He had tried so much to get out of Tonys way, so that there wouldn't be any fights between them that he had never really tried to get to know y/n. The only time he thought he had seen her true self was when they had cooked together. The months before her disappearance even that had become a rare occasion. He should've known.

Bruce was staring at the news paper, pretending he was reading it, which of course he wasn't. He was thinking of the many occasions Y/n had come into the lab, asking for help from him or Tony. The many times they turned her down and she came back with a bad grade the next day. He thought of the disappointed look on Tonys face and his yelling. He should've stopped him. He should've helped her with the homework. Maybe he should'v even asked her if she needed help, so that she wouldn't feel guilty about asking, but he didn't. 

Clint was throwing dart arrows at a target. As always he was always hitting the bullseye. He wasn't concentrating though. That y/n was alive hadn't been a new revelation for him, more so her self harming scars. He never would've guessed, that that's how bad it had gotten, when she had left. Now he could even imagine what would've happened if she hadn't left, when she did. And that thought scared him. He should've known from the beginning. He should've known, when sh begged him to take her with him to his family. But as he had that thought something crossed his mind: Y/n wanted him to know first, because she didn't blame him. She never blamed him for not noticing. He didn't know why. He blamed himself, why shouldn't she? 

Wanda was the only person in the room not in shock at all. But that didn't mean, that she didn't have anything on her mind. She was constantly checking her phone during breakfast. She had written Peter a message asking how y/n was feeling after the whole drama the day before. The thing was: Peter was neither in the tower, nor was he answering his phone. Technically he didn't need to be. Tony told him he could have two free days after the party, not just one. She just hoped that y/n didn't have a relapse or flashback or something like that because of them. 

FRIDAY interrupted the teams breakfast to remind them that training was starting in ten minutes. The team moved slowly to the training area. Everybody was doing their own thing here too. Shooting arrows, firing bullets, boxing at the punching bags or simple workouts. You could've cut the tension with a knife. It was surprising to everyone that Tony showed up. Wanda could tell that his head was spinning without reading his mind. He looked like the basis of his reality got swept away under his feet and he was drowning in his thoughts. Wanda didn't want to know what his thoughts were like at that moment. She just hoped it could get better.