Drowning Love: P.S. I Love You (Book 2) (Completed)

Chapter 34: Family Of Six

**Paige's Pov**

Waking up in pain is the new norm for me, and I hated it. Groaning out loudly looking around the room and it's empty of people, it is full of flowers and balloons and gifts for Elijah, a tear runs down my face when I think of my youngest child. I have been in this room now for two weeks, and I hate every minute of it. I'm only allowed to walk to the bathroom and back must wear this brace which hurts all of my other injuries. I miss Elijah so much he has been discharged from the hospital last two nights he has spent it with Casey and his siblings back at the hotel, we have tried having all the kids and Casey asleep in the room but they just won't sleep and they need sleep.

The whole family has already gone back home to their work, they call up nearly every day to talk to me, Casey, and the kids, I miss them being around it's the quiet and alone time I don't like. I would love to be able to breastfeed Elijah, however, it hurts too much to hold him and feed him from them with all the stitches that I have on my chest, I hate myself for it. All I want to do is breastfeed him and become as close as I was with the other three, I feel like I barely know him compared to how the rest of the family are with him, and that hurts so much. I'm his mum but I don't feel like his mum when he is in my arms. These tears need to go away I have had enough of crying for a lifetime.

A knock on the door bought me out of my thoughts, I looked up trying to do a happy smile as Casey walks in with the kids running past him into the room, "MUMMY!" Jaxson screams out as he always does when he sees me, giving me a hug and a kiss before he plonked down into his go to chair that he sits in. Amber rushed in holding Patty's hands, she's walking? Did I miss her first steps? Bad enough that it looks like we are going to be stuck here for her first birthday too.

"Morning Mum! Look what Patty started doing this morning!" Amber said cheerfully, and all I could do was cover my mouth to try and hide the sob that is trying to come out of me, Casey didn't buy it of course he noticed that I wasn't ok. Once I had given the girls their hugs and kisses and congratulations to Patty for walking, the girls took the chair next to Jaxson, Patty couldn't stop laughing she is such a happy little girl.

Casey unwrapped our son from the baby carrier he was in and handed him to me, smiling before handing me a warmed up bottle, he leans down giving me a soft kiss before pulling away holding my face in his hands, and whispered, "I know you're sad for missing it, I missed it too she was walking towards Jaxson I have filmed it when she did it the third time, as the second time I was cleaning up vomit from Elijah. Please babe don't beat yourself up about it, I love you." He smiled before kissing me again, "I missed you Cas." I whispered back, he smiles and winks at me, "I missed you too love." He whispered I start feeding our son, "Babe can you please pass me that pillow it's hurting still." I whispered, the outside stitches are healed it's the inside ones I know aren't fully healed yet or it's just tender who knows all I know is the pain in my back is hell. He handed me the pillow helping me with him and his bottle, before he sat down in the spare chair next to me looking at me, can tell he can see everything I am hiding from him, and I feel like a shit wife because of that.

Casey unpacked the nappy bag putting down a picnic blanket, laying the baby carrier down, and placing Elijah on it then the other three kids sat down around him with toys, playing with him and each other. "Paige talk to me please." Casey whispered when he sat back down next to me, I looked over at him tears threatening to spill down my face, "I just want to go home Cas, I miss the five of you. Sick of the pain, I'm sick of being stuck in this bed, sick of only being allowed to walk around this room. Sick of you not being able to go back to work because of me, the kids have missed the first weeks of school and I have the worst feeling I'm going to miss our daughter's first birthday! I have missed so much of Elijah's life it hurts, I just want to breastfeed him but I now have no milk to even try it hurts every time. I hate what my sister has done to me and our family!" I cried out, he looked like he was going to cry too, he stood up moving me to the side so he slide into my bed wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I feel all of that too babe, apart from the pain. One thing you need to know babe you will not be missing out on our daughter's first birthday, if you cannot go home it will be held here for you. Also, babe your not missing out on any of our children's lives, this is only a hiccup in our very long time together. I have taken heaps of photos and videos for you all to look back on when they are old enough to remember it. They all know you love them, Paige, don't doubt yourself please, all we want is you to heal and become the strong loveable person we all know you are." He whispered.