“I had, of course, several other backup plans.” Sherlock explained to John back at 221B, sitting with Blue curled up at his feet. “The trouble is, I couldn’t remember what they were, and I hadn’t really anticipated that I’d hallucinated meeting his daughter. Still a bit troubled by the daughter. Did seem very real. She did give me information I couldn’t have acquired elsewhere.”
“But she wasn’t ever here.” John said.
“Interesting, isn’t it?” Sherlock said. “I have theorized before that if one could attenuate to every available data stream in the world simultaneously, it would be possible to anticipate and deduce almost anything.”
“So you dreamed up a magic woman who told you things you didn’t know.” John said.
“Perhaps the drugs opened up several doors in my mind.” Sherlock said. “I’m intrigued.”
“Look, I know you are. Which is why we’re all taking turns to keep you off the sweeties, since Y/N is still in hospital.”
“I thought we were just hanging out.” Sherlock said.
“Molly will be here in twenty minutes.” John said.
“Oh, I do think I can survive unsupervised for twenty minutes.” Sherlock said. “Besides, I’ve got Blue to look after me.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” He got up. “Well, sorry, just, you know, Rosie.”
“Yes, of course, Rosie.”
“You’ll be okay for twenty minutes?” John said.
“Yes, yes.” Sherlock said. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking of Rosie.”
“No problem.”
“We should, uh…come and see her soon.” Sherlock said. “I’m sure she misses Y/N.”
“Yes.” John said.
“Oh, by the way, the recordings will probably be inadmissible.” Sherlock said.
“Sorry, what?”
“Well, technically it’s entrapment, so it might get thrown out as evidence. Not that that matters. Apparently he can’t stop confessing.” Sherlock said.
“That’s good.”
There was a pause.
“Are you okay?” Sherlock asked.
John chuckled. “No, no, I’m not okay. I’m never going to be okay. We just have to accept that. It is what it is. And what it is is…shit.”
Sherlock nodded.
John took a breath. “You didn’t kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It’s her choice. No one made her do it. No one could make her do anything, but the point is, you did not kill her.”
“In saving my life she conferred a value on it. They both did.” Sherlock said. “It is a currency I do not know how to spend.”
“It is what it is.” John said. “I’m tomorrow 6:00 till 10:00. I’ll see you then.”
“Looking forward to it.” Sherlock said.
“Yeah.”
John walked down the stairs and grabbed his jacket. In doing so, he jostled Sherlock’s coat and knocked something out of the pocket. He bent down to pick it up.
John held it in his hand for a moment, staring. He hung his coat back up and climbed the stairs.
“What’s this?” He asked, standing in the doorway and holding the velvet box up for Sherlock to see.
“Where did you get that?” Sherlock asked.
“Fell out of your coat. Sherlock, is there a ring inside this box?”
Sherlock cleared his throat. “Could be.”
“Seriously, we’re not going to talk about this?” John said.
“Talk about what?”
“The engagement ring you’ve just been carrying around.” John said. “When are you going to ask her?”
“Ask her what?”
“Are you going to do it over dinner? On a beach at sunset? At the scene of a grisly murder?” John asked.
“I haven’t made a plan.” Sherlock said.
“You bloody moron!” John laughed. “She’s alive. She loves you, and she’s alive, and do you have the first idea how lucky you are? You’re an asshole who doesn’t know how people work and can’t express his emotions to save his life, but Sherlock, she loves you. Ask her!”
“Why?”
“Because you have no idea how good she is for you, how much better what you have with her is than you seem to realize.” John said.
“How many times have I told you, John, that love–”
“Would complete you as a human being.”
“That doesn’t make it any easier–”
“Just ask her! Go to her, call her, just talk to her, Sherlock. You don’t have to ask right this second, but for God’s sake, do not lose her. Trust me Sherlock, it’s gone before you know it. Before you know it.” John paused. “She was wrong about me.”
“Mary? How so?”
“She thought that if you put yourself in harm’s way, I’d…I’d rescue you, or something. But I didn’t, not till she told me to. And that’s how this works, that’s what you need. She taught me to be the man she already thought I was. Get yourself a piece of that.” John said.
“Look at me. You are doing yourself a disservice.” Sherlock said. “I have known many people in this world, but made few friends, and I can safely say–”
“I cheated on her.” John said.
“No clever comeback?” He went on. “I cheated on her. It was a woman, on the bus, and I had a plastic daisy in my hair, I’d been playing with Rosie. And this girl just smiled at me. That’s all it was, just a smile. We texted constantly. Want to know when? Every time Mary left the room, that’s when. When she was feeding our daughter. When she was stopping her from crying, that’s when. That’s all it was, just texting. Y/N figured it out, and I ended it, but I wanted more. Do you know what? I still do. I’m not the man you thought I was. I’m not that guy. I never could be. But that’s the point. That’s the whole point. Who she thought I was is the man I want to be.”
John began to sob, his head in his hands. Sherlock got up and pulled his friend into a hug.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.” John said.
“No.” Sherlock agreed. “But it is what it is.”
After a while, Sherlock spoke again, pulling away from his best friend. “You know, it’s not my place to say, but it was just texting. It’s not a pleasant thought, John, but I do think from time to time that we might all just be human.”
“Even you?”
“No.” Sherlock said. “Even you.”
YOU ARE READING
THE BAKER STREET TRIO (SHERLOCK X READER)
FanfictionY/N Hudson grew up in America, daughter to a loving British mother and the leader of a notorious drug cartel in Florida. She grew into a brilliant and yet compassionate young woman with a penchant for solving mysteries. As soon as she could, Y/N esc...