Shut Up, Padfoot!

92

"Are you asleep?"

A smile twitched a little on my face. The lights were all out and the night seeped through our curtains. I turned around, the rustling of my duvet was my response to his question. I peered at him in the darkness and smiled wider at his open eyes.

Our foreheads touched and I took his cuff in my fingers. Winter is so cold here, especially when it claws its way in autumn and the end of summer. But his body is a whole lit fire with no dying embers. He must feel a chill when my freezing fingertips graze his skin.

"You were supposed to say 'Yes, I'm dreaming of you, Siri'," he teased.

I giggled quietly and repeated, "Yes, I'm dreaming of you, Siri. We're even naked!"

He let out a cute laugh and snuggled into the crook of my neck. His curls tickled my jawline and his lashes fluttered on my shoulder. His thumb lightly ran on the lining of my nightgown. Where my nightgown ends and where my skin hides under.

"I can see the stars from here, they're not like the ones at Hogwarts. Over there, they're so small. Only a flicker in the sky. But Padfoot, here— here, you can at least see some of their shape," I whispered.

He pulled his head back and turned to look out through the sliver of window pane revealed from the ajar curtains. He kept his hand at the base of my throat, thumb settled in the crevice between my collarbones. The pad of his finger felt the pulse of my heart that beat for him.

"Did you stare out every night like you used to at Hogwarts?" he questioned.

"Yes, I did. I'd look at the stars and how the colors of the sky lightened and darkened throughout the year. And everyday, I wondered if someone would come and save me," I confessed.

His posture slacked and he let out a heavy breath. The slight moonlight only laid across the top half of his face. I could see the close of his lids everytime he blinked, the furrow his thick brows, the strands that settled over his forehead.

"Even if we're here, we haven't really saved you, have we?" he murmured.

I didn't reply. In the end, nobody can save me. There is no use in lying to him when he'll just be taken away from me again. It's so repetitive, so predictable. Despite the outrageous events that have taken place since the year I turned fifteen, it's oh-so-predictable.

He turned back, the covers falling to his waist. His breath fanned my face. Padfoot's hand gently swiped away my hair to the side, tucked behind my ear.

"I love you. I wish the first time I said it was earlier. We would've had it longer," he told.

Our faces were so close. Years by my lonesome that craved for this intimacy. To simply hold his hand or even be by his side. This very bed where I starved away in, cried in, slept days in. Only to behold a fantasy that past me longed for.

"I love you. I think I loved you before I even knew you.The moment I met you, it was like...like a timeline correctly played out."

It was sappy, incredibly sappy, cringeworthly sappy. But I couldn't say it in any other way. There are no words to convey what I felt. We can only hope that the timeline works in our favor and the end is something sweet. Not horrifying like these past few years.

"Fawkes, kiss me. Please, kiss me."

I held the side of his face and looked up into his eyes. He's here, really here. Those months I spent running my hand over an empty side of my bed probably paid off. Or this was just divine timing. A temporary paradise until it would be taken away forever.

Moving forward, our mouths brushed. My eyes closed and I leaned in. Our lips met completely and I kissed him. I kissed him like the teenage girl I am. I felt the butterflies, the youthful giddiness and the undying love a girl can have for another person.

His tongue swiped along my bottom lip and my tummy ached. Sirius' hand ran up from the bottom of my spine and up the length of it. From there, he cupped the back of my head and deepened the kiss.

Like I've said for years since the first day we kissed, it felt like the lightning in a storm. When you gaze at the rainfall and your hairs stand on end until you see the flash of light. Your heart stops and then the thunder strikes. Your pulse picks up faster than before and the adrenaline kicks in.

But he's gentle. He feels like the summer air and quenching your thirst with lemonade. Letting your body tan and chanting charms. Or eating sliced peaches and taking photographs.

Our legs tangled and I felt the plaid fabric of his pajama pants on my ankles and calves. His hand bunched up the material of my nightgown as my own intertwined through his hair.

Between kisses, he'll mutter the prettiest words. When I was much younger, he would make my face heat up at the mention of these syllables. Even if they weren't directed at me. He'll catch me off guard and it still happens.

Sirius Black. Sirius Black. Sirius Black.

The boy named after constellations. Where the stars gathered in his eyes and the beautiful sky formed into his consonants and vowels. A name can be a simple thing but being named with grand things like the parts that make up our universe; it is guaranteed he will be just as great.

Compiling the shining heavens above into one humanly form is the only explanation to Sirius Black. And I won't stop saying it. He is the only one and nothing will change that.

He gripped my waist and his knee replaced the clothing that used to fall between my thighs. He held my throat softly and pushed my head up with his thumb under my chin.

"Love me, please."

-Lana
just rewatched narnia and now I know why yall were complaining about why Sirius isn't ben Barnes lol!