Shut Up, Padfoot!

38

"How old are you, Fawkes?" Sirius asked.

He ran his hand under his nose and blinked at me. I sighed and lazily turned my head to him. Was this a trick question? It's been, what? Six years?

"Same age as you, dumbass," I replied.

His mouth parted in realization and nodded. I smiled slightly, amused by his behavior. Carefully, I shifted myself on the couch. He stared at the fire in front of us, lifting his arm nonchalantly.

In content, I tucked myself under his arm and settled into his side. Our ankles tangled with one another as I snaked my arm around his waist.

"Okay, let's say I live another few decades- oi, don't look at me like that- let's just say," I began.

He grumbled to himself as his fingers pressed into my shoulder. I cocked my head to the side and my hair ruffled by the fabric of his shirt.

The fire crackled and the smoke lifted into the chimney. Rain pattered on the window but the downpour wasn't too hard. Our tradition of watching the storm ended tragically but I do hope it kickstarts again soon. Memories of pain in the droplets do remain but we should just forget them.

"Do you think we would get married? Or you'd go off and shank some other girl?" I teased.

He gasped in mockery and peered down at me. His hair tickled my forehead and he ran his thumb back and forth over my sweater. Our eyes made contact and I awaited his answer.

He grinned softly and his grey eyes flickered between mine. I swallowed apprehensively, always taking my breath away with that intense gaze.

"Who said it'd be me that'd go and mess with a girl? What if you messed with a girl?" he retort.

I pursed my lips in pretend thinking. Fighting back a laugh, I responded, "You're right. Imagine if it was the both of us that messed with a girl?"

He snickered, his eyes closing at the same time. I stared at him. He really is handsome. I could reach out and run my fingers down his sharp features or brush my lips down his jaw.

"Imagine if it was the same girl!" he exclaimed.

"She'd be very lucky!"

I chuckled a bit. His laughter faded afterward. If I would, I'd stay in his arms for hours. Just to be with him is such a blessing.

The corners of my mouth lowered and I frowned, my brows closing in and sitting quietly. He took notice and he leaned down. Our foreheads touched and I flicked my eyes back to his again.

"I'd get a good job, make a lot of money. I'll buy you your own island!" he stated.

I giggled, embracing him tighter. His breath grazed my skin but I held mine. Reaching with my hand, I held his face, my fingertips delving into his hair.

"Then we can live there. You always wished to go to the beach, from then you can just have one," he joked.

I smiled tight lipped, hopefully not showing the sadness behind it. He's dreamt of this before, I just know it. I know he planned it out, despite the silliness of it, he has a true future in his mind. And it makes me heartbroken to know that he'll be spending it with another girl.

"You would even wear a coconut bra," he added.

He bit his lip teasingly and I let out a little laugh. He narrowed his eyes as well. His foot lightly kicked my heel, showing his restless nature he usually has.

"Oh yeah?"

I replicated his narrowed eyes and bit my lip just like him. He nodded in approval and with that, we burst into laughter.

Sirius laughed into my hair and clutched me securely. Our laughter was fairly loud but we don't care. Why care? Why take others' opinions to us personally? I have a few years left.. the fear of gossip and judgment from others is useless.

We regained ourselves and I tried to slow my breathing. A strike to my heart hit and anticipation of the future came back.

"I'm so in love with you," I whispered.

His hand from my shoulder lifted and pushed my jaw gently to get me to look at him. A serious atmosphere fell and the air grew thick.

"I love you too," he responded.

He leaned down, his forehead pressed onto mine again. I glanced to his lids to see they were lowered to my mouth.

The sound of the rain on the windowpane drowned out the students around the common room. Thunder clapped in the distance quietly and involuntarily, I closed my eyes.

His lips brushed mine and I awaited him to deepen it.

"Don't open your eyes yet," he warned me when I got a bit impatient.

My fingers curled into his shirt, scrunching it in my palm. He's so close yet I can't kiss him. He's right here but I can't move.

"I want to take you to the beach when we graduate," he starts.

His mouth brushed mine many times as he spoke and I wondered why he wanted me to keep my eyes closed. But if he wants me to stay like this as he speaks, this is something I can give him. Anything, I'll give him anything.

"And I'd get a small home for us. We'd be broke, but I'd get a job. You too. We'll sit in front of our fireplace and hold each other as long as we want," he continued.

"Padfoot-"

"Someday, we'd go back to the beach I took you after we graduated. And I'll propose to you on the shoreline," he interrupted.

Our out of reach future.

Something we can never have.

I knew it. I knew he had a plan.

"You'll kiss me and we can get married anywhere you wanted. Then our life goes on, kids or no kids, just our life," he said.

"Sirius..."

"I know. It's just a thought, though."

Being too immersed in the conversation distracted me from his mouth. He took me by surprise and pressed his lips to mine.

His hand cradled my face, his thumb swiping the tear off my skin.

-lana