Shut Up, Padfoot!

42

"Alright, Prongs?" I asked.

He turned to me, dark eye bags encasing his skin. He paled incredibly and his cheekbones protruded largely. He nodded, rubbing his bony hand on the back of his neck.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

I frowned, setting my parchment down. Iris tugged her hair tie over her fingers, forming a slingshot knot, and directed it to Remus who sat next to me. He covered his face in case she let the rubber shoot off.

"Night terrors still?" I quietly questioned.

He swallowed, readjusting his glasses uneasily. A blur of Iris' hair tie flung through the air and struck Moony's arm. I flinched at the fast object but focused on James.

"Getting a bit scarier and frequent, you hear?" he replied.

"Yeah... I'm sorry. I don't know why you keep getting the nightmares, especially when everyone else doesn't have them anymore," I apologized.

Iris giggled as Remus got out of his chair to search for the hair tie on the floor. His elbow bumped into my side and I slightly moved out of the way. James ran a hand down his face and leaned back in his chair.

Sirius came down the dormitory stairs and my eyes flickered instantaneously to him when he entered the room. I cleared my throat and gazed at James again.

"It's fine, it's fine. I'm sure it'll go away sometime," he dismissively said.

"Yeah.. when I die.." I whispered under my breath.

"What's that? Couldn't hear what you said," James asked.

Padfoot came over to our little table of coursework and shenanigans. His arm grasped my shoulders and he leaned down to press a kiss to my temple. I shuddered at the intimate gesture. Always gives me butterflies.

I shifted my head to look up at him. He smiled gently and my heart skipped a beat. He gets so much prettier every time I see him.

"Hi," I softly greeted.

"Hi, love."

He pecked my lips and I sat frozen still. He took me by surprise. Everything he does is so carefully spontaneous. I coughed and diverted my gaze to calm the growing blush up my throat.

"Alright, lads?" he announced.

They responded with distracted hums and grunts. I curled my finger around the hem of his shirt near his belt loop. My skin showed through the thin fabric as I lightly stretched it out.

"Any plans for today?" he wondered.

Before hesitating, I let my hand fall back to his abdomen. The shirt fell from my fingertip and I placed my nail to his stomach.

He tightened his hold on my shoulders and I smiled to myself. With his free hand, he secured it around my roaming one. His thumb pressed into my palm and my tummy churned at the thought of what was going through his mind.

"Nah.. pretty free. Think we'll stay in here for the rest of the day," Moony answered.

"Mhm yeah," Iris agreed.

"Prongs?"

When he didn't answer, Padfoot and I stopped glancing at each other and looked at him. The boy stared at the table in front of him blankly as he scratched the denim pants on him.

"Prongs?" Sirius repeated.

James blinked a couple of times and peered at his best mate. He bit his lip warily and replied, "What did you say?"

"Got any plans?"

"No, I don't."

"I think you should get some sleep, man," I advised.

"Oh.. no, no. I'm okay," he reassured.

"When was the last time you slept?"

He paused, his fingernail stopped its motions and he silently thought for a moment. The realization dawned on all of us and even the other playful two were watching with concerned eyes.

"Four days ago," he finally said.

My heart dropped. The night terrors really are getting to him. I feel bad. I wish there was something I could do. I'm sure there is something but I don't know. Maybe I should talk to Tom.

"Prongs, c'mon.. you can't not sleep. I bet you're so tired right now. Go up to bed, mate," Sirius urged.

"No. I'm fine, really," James denied.

"You're not. We can take you to the infirmary? Maybe Poppy can give you some herbs to help you sleep," I prodded.

I reached out for his hand but right when I made contact, he swiped it away. I retracted and I feel a bit hurt but if he doesn't want me touching him, then I should respect his boundaries.

"I told you I'm fine. Leave me alone," he snapped.

I pressed myself more into Padfoot at the accusatory tone. The sudden change of voice rose my fight or flight senses and I didn't like the sound of it at all.

"Okay, okay. Chill, man. We're just worried about you, okay?" Sirius spoke gentler.

The crease between Prongs' eyebrows waned and he relaxed into the chair. The sleepiness overtook him again and his energy escaped after that outburst.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," he murmured.

He pushed the chair back and stepped off of it. He seemed so much smaller and his usual large figure was so faded. The comforting honey aura disappeared and darkness surrounded him.

"I'm going upstairs," he declared.

"Alright, get some rest," Remus bid.

James walked past Sirius and he slowly walked to the base of the stairs. We watched him go up uneasily and when he was gone, we let out a breath.

I don't know what to do. I know this is my fault but what the hell do I do? How do I solve it? How can I stop the torment?

Padfoot took Prongs' seat now. He huffed and a couple of his hair strands fluffed. I pursed my lips and intertwined our hands with a million thoughts running through my mind.

"I don't know what to do," he muttered.

He crossed his ankles and sat silently. The bustle of the common room ceased after a bit and a quieter environment encased us. Iris asked Remus if James was okay under her breath so she wouldn't worry us more. Moony replied to her, cupping the side of her head and bringing her closer to speak in her ear.

Sirius brought our woven hands to his mouth and pressed a long kiss to our knuckles. He let our hands rest there afterward and I felt his breath flutter over my fingers.

Worry deepened and he kept his eyelids lowered as he thought. The look on his face crushed my heart and I wish I could figure out how to help James.

"I'll talk to Tom. I'll figure something out, I promise."

-lana