Faded Sun| SunSun

[Chapter 6]

The streets were cold and empty, as Jungwon traveled further from his apartment. He'd locked himself away for a full day now, and really had no plans of ever leaving. Yet, Jay had fallen asleep already, and he couldn't ignore that rumbling in his stomach. He had just enough energy to go get some food for himself, since he couldn't stand being hungry, on top of how bad he already felt. 

It was pretty late, sometime around midnight, but Jungwon paid no attention to that. Things so insignificant were the last thing on his mind. Now there was only night and day, and the stars shimmering above him, made it evident that it was night. 

The boy continued on his journeys, finding some refreshment in the night air. Being stuck inside was doing him no good, maybe it was a blessing that Jay had fallen asleep. It forced him to go outside, face the world again. It was daunting, and highly terrifying. The thought of running into someone he knew, and especially one that knew he wasn't debuting, scared him to his core. He didn't want to be pitied, and he didn't want to see their disappointment. 

Without even realizing it, Jungwon had reached his destination. The bright lights of the convenience store caused him to squint, but after a few blinks, he was fine again. After a failed attempt at pushing the pull door, Jungwon made it inside. He scanned the isles, picking up a few bits and pieces along the way. Sure he should have probably gotten a real meal, not junk that'll make him feel gross, but he didn't have any desire to talk to a waiter or cashier at this moment, so the self checkout was his only option. 

Jungwon made quick work, scanning all of his items, and paying, within a minute or so. He shoved all of the snacks into one of the flimsy plastic bags, and left the store. He could feel the plastic cutting into his fingers, from the weight of the bag. If he was in the right head space, he would've brought something stronger, like a reusable tote, but for now, he could cope. 

As he walked down the street, his eyes fell on every store window he passed, while his nose was attacked by the amazing scent of hot cooked meals from the restaurants. He could see all of the happy people enjoying their lives, whether that be in general, or for only that moment. They sat together, shared food, exchanged stories, and held beaming smiles. It seemed like their problems were non existent, but that's normal for someone on the outside. Just as they knew nothing of Jungwon's struggles, he knew nothing of theirs. All he knew right now, was that they were happy, and he wasn't.

He really, really wasn't.

Jungwon stopped his movements, completely frozen in front of one particular restaurant. Staring through the wide open glass, he felt numb. Not even noticing how the plastic handle slipped from his hand. His only focus was on the two people sitting near the middle of the restaurant. Both laughing, smiling, sitting across from one another, eating delicious food. Two of his closest friends, two who had achieved his dream. He was proud of them, he was glad that they had made it. 

Even if it hurt, he couldn't be their anchor. Pulling them down, when they're meant to be enjoying this moment. He wasn't happy, this was known, but for them, he could be anything. Hiding away wasn't going to change anything, it wouldn't make things the way he wanted them. It really made it clear to him, that he had to give this a try.

____

"Student mentor my ass! He's the devil!" Riki slammed his hands down on the table, clutching his fingers around the wooden chopsticks. "I wer ees grot muming agunst mur." He said, after taking an aggressive bite of his fried chicken.

Sunoo giggled, shaking his head as he grabbed a napkin. "He hasn't got anything against you, it's his job." He sighed, somehow understanding what Riki had said. He brought the napkin up to the youngers mouth, gently wiping the chicken residue off his face. "I guess they're just stricter in Seoul, you need to get use to it." 

A loud groan escaped Riki, alongside some tiny fragments of chicken, one even landed on Sunoo's arm. "But you don't know Sunoo, you're not there. He never sees when I do good things, only when I'm making mistakes, or when I'm messing around. I'm fed up of getting scolded." 

"Okay, I get why that would be annoying." Sunoo gently flicked the piece of chicken off his arm, watching it land on the floor beside another persons table. "Just think of it like this, if he didn't see when you messed up, then you'd never learn. Try to make it a positive." 

"There's nothing positive about this."

Sunoo shook his head, as Riki tucked into his chicken. The best thing to do in these situations, was to fill him with food. It seemed to be the only thing that stopped him whining. Picking up his glass, Sunoo took a sip of his water, eyes peering away from his grumpy friend, and to the boy slowly approaching their table. 

Immediately slamming down his water, Sunoo's lips parted as if he was going to say something, but the boy got to it first.

"Can I join you guys?" Jungwon asked, slowly dragging a chair from one of the empty tables over.

"Jummwomn!" Riki's incoherent yell was followed by him spitting out everything that was in his mouth, to the disgust of other two boys. "I can't believe you're here!" 

"Well I wish I wasn't after seeing that." Jungwon chuckled, scooting himself closer to Sunoo. He felt his hand instantly grabbed, and fingers interlocked with his best friend. 

"I'm really happy to see you." 

Jungwon smiled, fighting back the urge to cry. This was all really emotional for him, but he was glad he came. It was the first step in getting back to reality. "Same, now can I have some of the chicken that hasn't been spat on?" He giggled. Sunoo pushed a plate full of 'un-spat on chicken' towards Jungwon.

"Hey there's nothing wrong with my chicken, you're just a germaphobe!" 

"Yeah and that's a very good thing."

The boys sat together for the rest of the early morning, leaving the restaurant around sunrise. They didn't speak of the debut, and just enjoyed themselves, the way they always use to. It was good for Jungwon; it was good for them all. Things were rapidly changing, and it was nice to see that for them, for each other, they would always be the same.