Faded Sun| SunSun

[Chapter 25]

The morning sun rays cast against Jungwon's pale skin, as he peered out of his living room window. There was a lot on his mind, with seemingly no time to think. He was meant to be going back to Seoul today, but that was the last thing he wanted. This week had flown by, he didn't even have time to settle his worries, or figure out where he wanted to truly be. 

Every time he thought about staying, he thought about what he would lose.

There was no guarantee that he'd find a new path in life if he stayed. There was only a guarantee that he'd lose so much of what he already had. Though, even with that, he still couldn't deny, that going back to Seoul, may possibly destroy him.

With a sudden ping, Jungwon's attention was captured by his phone. Pulling out the device, he swiped to his messages, seeing one pop up from Sunghoon.

Sunghoon

Hey I'm sorry about what I said the other day,
I was wrong. Things have been really hard
for me recently, so my judgement hasn't
been the best.
Sent 9:24

If you want/need to go to therapy,
I'll support you. We can talk about
this more when we get back to
Seoul.
Sent 9:24

Jungwon smiled at the messages in gratitude. The boys original stance on therapy, had made Jungwon feel awful. Seeing that Sunghoon had taken back his words, and was now encouraging therapy, definitely lifted Jungwon's mood.

Sudden knocks at the door, caused Jungwon to flinch. He jumped up from his seat, heading anxiously to the front door. It most likely was Sunghoon and Jay, coming to bring him back to Seoul. Though, passing by his packed suitcase, he still wasn't sure if he was even going back.

The door swung open, revealing only one person Jungwon expected to see. "Where's Sunghoon?" He asked, immediately noticing Jay's serious expression.

"Can I come inside? We need to talk."

Jungwon nodded, letting Jay past, before he shut the door. The two wandered into Jungwon's living room, both taking a seat on one of the couches. Jungwon felt really worried, something didn't feel right. Jay wasn't their normal self, much colder, bringing a heavy tension to the room. He really wondered what was going on.

"Is everything okay? Why's Sunghoon not here?" Jungwon asked, confusion lacing his voice. 

Jay let out a deep breath. "I told him to go ahead of us, since I needed to speak with you." They fixed their gaze on Jungwon, disappointment in their eyes. "I know you're hanging out with Si-Woo again, explain yourself please."

He felt like his heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach, how did Jay know? His body shaked slightly, the nerves taking over. He didn't want Jay to think the worst, it was nothing more than a single conversation.

"I-I spoke to him once." Jungwon choked out, feeling a strange urge to cry. "It was nothing, I promise."

"Did he force you to go?" Jay's body was tense, and their voice stern. Jungwon couldn't tell if they were angry.

"No." Jungwon muttered, hearing Jay sigh, and break their gaze. "Please don't be mad-"

"Don't be mad?" Jay scoffed. "Of course I'm mad. My boyfriend had no intention of telling me he went to go see his ex. Which also happens to be the same ex that harassed, and bullied his best friend."

Jungwon tried to steady his breathing, but the nerves just kept building. Jay was making him feel like a horrible person, shaming him for seeing Si-Woo again. He wouldn't be surprised if Jay was about to give up on him, just like everyone else had.

"Si-Woo is a fucking terrible guy, it makes me scared for you Ju- Wonnie. I know you're fragile right now; I don't want you falling onto the wrong path." Jay sounded extremely frustrated, even struggling to use Jungwon's nickname. "What did you two talk about?"

"Well...I was thinking...I might not go back to Seoul." Jungwon gripped the bottom of his hoodie anxiously, seeing how Jay's shock soon turned into anger.

"And you chose to talk about this with Si-Woo? instead of me?" Jay snapped.

"It's not like that..." Jungwon sucked in his lips, trying to hold back his tears. He was unable to do this for long, letting out a small whimper, and sniffles, as the tears flooded down his cheeks. "H-he just h-happened to be there..."

"I'm always here though, you should have spoke to me, not him." Jay closed their eyes, trying to calm themself down. They took deep breaths in and out, but just couldn't stop thinking about Jungwon and Si-Woo. "I bet he encouraged you to stay, what did he say to you?"

"H-he just said he'd h-help me." Jungwon replied, through his sobs. 

Jay shook their head, letting out a frustrated groan, that caused Jungwon to flinch. "Are you staying? Or are you going? Just tell me straight." 

"I-I think I w-want to stay...for just a l-little longer-" Jungwon's eyes filled with worry, seeing Jay get up, and walk out of the living room. With all his strength, he got to his feet, rushing after them. "Wait! Please!" He cried, helplessly wiping his tears with his sleeve.

"You've made up your mind." Jay stated. "If you want to stay here with Si-Woo, then I won't stop you." 

Jungwon's sobs intensified, as he ran to Jay. He couldn't let them leave, not like this. Throwing his arms around Jay, he latched onto them, muttering pleas into their hoodie.

"I'm sorry...please don't leave me...I love you so so much." He whispered, gripping onto Jay for dear life. "I d-don't want Si-Woo...you know this...stop saying things like that...please."

His tears soaked through Jay's hoodie, his weeping not allowing for silence. He'd never felt so desperate in his whole life, he couldn't lose Jay. There was almost a moment of calm, as Jungwon felt arms wrapping around his body. He found himself engulfed in Jay's sweet scent, that natural warmth rushing through him, he snuggled closer, letting Jay hold him near.

"Let's talk about this later."

____

A bit of a heavy chapter, but trust me, the dramas smoothing out. Upcoming chapters will have some happy moments to look forward to.