Faded Sun| SunSun

[Chapter 9]

The crowd cheered, watching the stoic boy skate onto the ice. The pressure was immense, for he had something to prove today. He was one of the chosen ones, someone who was going to be representing the whole country in just over a year. People were expectant, he had to show them why he deserved to be there. 

Sunghoon took his spot in the middle of the ice, and before his music began, he looked for Sunoo. It had become something of habit, desiring just a single glance. It was almost reassuring, reminding Sunghoon that he wasn't alone.

Though as his eyes darted around the stadium, he found no sign of his boyfriend. There was no time to ponder this, with the music starting. 

His body moved gracefully, gliding along the ice, for a nice slow and simple start. His backing track was a pretty melody, infusing his theme for this piece, freedom.

This is going well, just gotta keep this up going into the axel. Where is Sunoo? He's meant to be here. Okay, okay, get ready and...

Sunghoon jumped into the air, delivering a clean double axel. His two and a half rotations landed him neatly on the ice, erupting an applaud from the crowd.

Nice, that was good. Keep calm, you've got this Hoon. 

Curving his movement near the center of the ice, Sunghoon builds momentum going into his camel spin. His leg lifts to hip level, as his body rotates multiple times. 

Where is Sunoo? I told him to come.

The crowd was in awe, watching this wondrous piece unfold. If Sunghoon kept this up, he'd surely be seen as the star skater of the university. It was never really what he did, but more of what he presented. You couldn't take you eyes off of him, even if he just stood motionless on the ice. He had what no one else had.

Jump combo coming up, I need to nail this. I keep fumbling in practice, but I think I can do it today. Where is Sunoo? Get your head in gear Hoon, focus, focus, focus.

His stare was intense, curving his way round the edge of the ice. He took a deep breath in, preparing for the combination. He jumped, starting with a double flip, into a half loop, following through into a triple Salchow, but... 

Sunoo?

The concentration was broken, sending Sunghoon off course. He stumbled forward, catching himself on the ice. Immediately pushing himself up, he continued his glide around the rink.

He'd heard Sunoo's laugh, he know he did. He looked to the border of the rink, where Sunoo was standing, next to Lim Jimin. 

Was he even paying attention? Too busy talking to that twat to watch me.

Sunghoon's eyes were glued to the pair, as this competition faded from his mind. Sunoo really wasn't watching his skating, instead talking to his rival. He'd shown a glimpse of worry when Sunghoon fell, but after he picked himself up, that disappeared.

Just ignore it Hoon, at this rate Jimin's going to beat you. Get a clean spin now, and get those points up. 

Winding himself up, Sunghoon squatted down, into his sit spin. He held his leg straight in front of him, as his body spun around. With a round of applause, Sunghoon twisted out of the spin, moving onto to the final portion of his routine.

Why bother coming? You're not even watching me. I fucking cheered so hard for you yesterday, and you can't even spare me a glance. That smile, so damn happy to speak to him. 

Sunghoon lacked focus going into his triple Lutz. With slight panic Sunghoon rushed into the jump, realizing that he wasn't paying attention. He took off from the inside edge instead, landing the jump, but it definitely wasn't the way he was meant to.

Shit Leeteuk's going to be so mad. 

With as much drive as he could muster, Sunghoon began the step sequence. His serpentine movements, bringing much flair to the routine. His turned from one direction to another, going up and down the ice. 

And just like that, the music came to an end. Sunghoon relaxed into his ending pose, breath heavy, as the crowd cheered and applauded the routine. 

Thank God that's over.

____

"Sunghoon! Sunghoon! Can you stop please?!

Sunghoon whipped himself around, having no patience for the boy. "I just want to be alone right now!" He snapped, yanking open the car door. He clambered inside, starting the ignition, while Sunoo watched in confusion. 

As he pulled out of the parking spot, he looked to Sunoo in the rear view mirror. He didn't move, still frozen on the concrete. In his mind, he didn't owe him any explanation. If he actually paid attention during his skate, Sunghoon would have never got distracted. He would have never lost to Lim Jimin.

It wasn't long until Sunghoon arrived back at his apartment, he made his way into his bedroom, collapsing backwards onto his bed. Taking a deep breath in, Sunghoon closed his eyes, attempting to calm himself down.

He was angry, really angry. He kept replaying the fall over in his mind, and the countless other mistakes he made during the routine. He was meant to show the best version of himself today, but he totally screwed that up.

Coming out of his thoughts, Sunghoon heard his phone ping. Pulling out the device, the screen illuminated his face, as he read the messages. 

Sunoo💕

I'm sorry for whatever I did
Please don't be mad
Sent 19:24

You did amazing today
You don't need to win all the time
to prove how talented you are
Sent 19:24

I'm sorry again
I love you so much
Sent 29:25

"Whatever you did...You frickin messed with my head dipshit!" Sunghoon threw his phone across the room, landing who knows where. The boy pushed himself off his bed, walking to his bathroom. He needed an early night, this was all too much for him. 

His hands gripped the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. He despised the person looking back at him, for not being strong enough, not being focused enough, not being good enough. He was weak, letting his emotions take control. He needed logic, and reasonability, but his mind was so dearly clouded. 

The mirror creaked, as he pulled it open, revealing his cabinet. The routine came so naturally, take out the pills, unscrew the cap, shake out one, throw your head back, swallow the pill. Though, Sunghoon held the orange plastic in his hand, not following his usual routine this time.

"Fuck this."

Unscrewing the cap, Sunghoon tipped all of the pills out, watching them tumble one by one down the drain. He wanted freedom, access to his full mind, and this was how he was going to get it. 

At the end of the day, he can only rely on himself. 

____

I did so much research for the skating portion, so I hope it's okay. Not insanely accurate, but it's somewhere along the line.

Hope everyone has a good day/night🥰