Four Letters (Chaeyoung×MiSaMo)

[62] Easily

The night did not end with just dinner and wine. Just as much as Chaeyoung wanted to avoid this moment, she can't really lie forever.

Having to love Mina four times in a lifetime says a lot about who her heart belonged to. Her grudges did not stop her from falling in love with Myoui Mina over and over again. And if she has to try again, she would.

But right now, she has to take the consequences of her actions.

"Mina." The older turned her head, pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, asking why her name was called. "Give me your phone and dial the home number." Mina was confused by the request but still grabbed her phone and dialed their home number. Just a few more and it rang, Chaeyoung stood up and answered the call and put the handset down the table infront of Mina.

She grabbed the older's phone and breathed out a smile.

"You're so full of stunts aren't you. May I ask what's this for?" Mina smiled and Chaeyoung felt like crying. This is the downside of being a pessimist, when you're about to do something, you tend to expect the worst case scenario.

The thought of seeing that smile one last time really breaks her heart, because what if Mina had enough of all this. For God's sake she's been trying to have one person all her life and this world isn't treating her right with that.

Chaeyoung seemed to realize at this exact moment that the pain was never one sided, when she was crying on the floor wheeping her heart out, Mina was doing the same. Because if love was felt by two person, then so is the pain.

She took the first step backward, gripping the phone on her hand. "I'm helping you decide, honestly and with independence." She said, but Mina had a crease on her forehead, wondering what it means.

"I don't get it Chaeyoung."

"You'll get it soon enough Mina. I'll go outside and I'll be on the other side of the door and you stay here while I talk to you on the phone, okay?"

"That's exactly what I don't get, why?" Mina furrowed her brows, not liking the idea anymore. Chaeyoung was talking to her as if her heart is shredding into pieces.

"Just do it, okay?" Chaeyoung smiled once again before making her way outside the penthouse, Mina was following her but stopped at the living room, a few meters away from the door. Because Chaeyoung told her that it would be her area.

She put the telephone's handset on her ear, the first thing that she heard was Chaeyoung's breathing. "I still don't get this Chaeyoung."

"I know, but promise me one thing. Promise me that you will just listen to me. You will not talk, just listen to me."

"Chaeyoung--"

"Promise me, Mina." She cuts off her lover's words. Mina hummed and told, "I promise", despite the hesitation in her heart.

The tears on Chaeyoung's eyes then began to fall, because there's only two possibilities that this would end up. Either they work it out, or they end here.

"We met in third grade Mina, we were kids but I already fell in love with you. Took me years to finally gain the courage to talk to you, but when I think about it now, everything was worth it because you became mine.

You were so important to me, I have given my whole to you and maybe that's where I went wrong. Because when you left I was left with nothing, and I have no right to be mad at you because you never asked me to love you that much.

I coped with anger when I shouldn't have. And now, I shouldn't have wasted a year if the anger didn't won over me." Chaeyoung swallowed her whimpers, she never wanted Mina to hear her cries. "I have memories that I remember Mina, I remembered up until I graduated college and I remembered all of that a year after I went missing. I'm so sorry that I lied to you, I'm sorry."

Chaeyoung rests her forehead on the door, with the phone still on her ear. "You can speak now love, you can curse me, you can be mad. You don't have to worry about what I'd feel." She then waited for something, but nothing came out.

She checked if the call was still in and it was. It's just that Mina wasn't speaking. She wonders, is this Mina's way of telling her that she can't forgive her anymore? Is this Mina's way of telling that she's tired? Is this the en--

Her thoughts were cut off when the door opened with Mina showing herself in a solemn look. Chaeyoung doesn't know what her girlfriend's trying to convey with that, but it surely is making her nervous.

"Get inside it's cold." Mina told, Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. She's confused and wondering what's this supposed to mean.

"But Mi--"

"Get inside, we'll talk." Mina repeated with more authority, Chaeyoung followed despite the thinking and numerous questions in her head. Mina walked through the room and she followed. The Japanese faced the window as Chaeyoung looked at her back.

"Do you know what makes me mad the most about everything?" Mina questioned and she knows Mina wasn't waiting for her answer, so she stayed silent and waited for Mina to say it herself.

The older pointed at the duffel bag on the floor, it has Chaeyoung's clothes that she packed right before the dinner. "It angers me most that you got ahead of yourself and thought that I would've never forgiven you." Mina wiped over the tears on her cheek.

"Chaeyoung I know it's hard, it's hard and tiring to not have your way no matter how much we try. It's fucking tiring that we chose to love everytime but always lose. I'm goddamn tired of it but I never thought of giving up." She turned around and faced the younger. "But just because it won't come easily, doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

It took Chaeyoung like an arrow shot by a professional archer. She's too weak and vulnerable, that's the difference between her and Mina. They were both in pain but Mina was stronger than her, maybe this time it's her turn to take the initiative and fight for them.

"I love you Chaeyoung, and it's worth every pain."

Chaeyoung took her step forward and held Mina in her arms. They were both crying on each other's arms, but the tears are what makes it more special. Because when you're both hurting, then that means the love is mutual.

"I love you Mina, and it's worth every fight."

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A/N

Yes, I think I'm addicted to Bruno Major.