N-701124 {b. barnes}

XVIII

A/N: this....this gets dark, and I'm sorry. But it's part of the plot and it's important later on. Belle is suicidal, I think I've mentioned that before. This chapter starts a very brief dark point in her life.

It's going to be okay, though, I promise <3 she'll have her happiness one day.

Also, point of view changes happen in this chapter!

Two weeks.

That's how long she was gone.

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks.

She missed his birthday, but she didn't care. She was too upset to care. He was the reason she was in this situation and now he refused to take any responsibility for his actions? Not cool. She wasn't going to tolerate that.

She loved him, yes, but she wasn't going to put up with shit like that.

She didn't even plan on going back. She'd go back one night to get Autumn, but the two of them could start over somewhere else. It would be hard, but they'd make ends meet. She'd do anything for her daughter and now unborn child. She had to. As a mother, it was her job. She'd do anything for her children.

It was dark when she went back to the apartment a few nights later. The third week of her disappearance was coming to an end. No one had to know she visited the apartment that night. She knew Autumn 

She snuck into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She looked around. James wasn't anywhere nearby.

Weird.

She crept to Autumn's bedroom. When she heard voices coming from inside, she froze and listened to the conversation.

"-she got upset and left. I don't know when she'll be back."

"What if she doesn't come back?"

"I don't know. You know I love your mama, but I can't force her to do anything. She's stubborn like that."

"You're stubborn too."

There was a few seconds of silence. "Excuse me?"

"You and mama are both stubborn. You don't get along."

"We get along. We just can't agree on some things, that's all."

She knew he was trying his hardest to put the events that happened that night into simpler, less hurtful words for their daughter. She knew he was trying, and she couldn't be upset about that.

She tuned out their conversation and silently crept to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and sat down on the floor. A wave of guilt washed over her as she put her head in her hands. 

He sounded so hurt. So broken. She caused that.

Fuck, she caused that.

All he ever did was love her. Then she went and hurt him like that? How could she? What kind of a person was she? How could she do such a thing?

She stumbled over to the sink and stared into the mirror. Tears trickled down her cheeks. She gripped the counter. 

How could she hurt him like that? How? Why?

She dug under the sink. 

There was something in every room of the apartment for her to defend herself with. Whether it be a pistol (under the kitchen sink) or in this case, a knife (under the bathroom sink), there was something everywhere.