My Way Home Is Through You (Frerard)

Chapter 14

Fiddling to do his belt up again, I swallowed his sperm, standing up and biting my lip. Grabbing my face, he pulled me towards him, kissing me roughly, his tongue exploring every bit of my mouth, he had done that enough times to know my mouth pretty well already, but he still did. Only seconds later he pulled away looking at me a little disgusted.

"Well I taste like shit." He said, scraping his tongue with his teeth, he seemed pretty disgusted. My face contorted into a very strange look once he had spoken, both wondering what the fuck he meant, and if it was what I though...what the fuck?

"Excuse me." I stuttered, giving him the most confused look ever.

"My dick, tastes bad, how do you swallow that?" He laughed, I widened my eyes standing in the centre of the room laughing awkwardly.

"I think now is a good time to leave, after all we should go before the bell, otherwise it could get difficult." I said itching the back of my head.

"Open the door and we will be free." He smiled like a goof, I was beginning to wonder whether I had just sucked his dick or shoved cocaine up his nose, that was not normal, he was not normal.

"I am leaving." I stated suddenly feeling almost awkward, but in a hilarious way, it was an awkward hilarity, he was being an idiot, but it was awkward because I couldn't quite tell if he was being an idiot for fun or if he was seriously going insane.

"See you later sugar." He said brushing the hair from my face and cupping my cheeks, he smiled down genuinely at me, bringing me to the hopes that maybe he was still sane.

"You are sane," I giggled, "Thank the lord." I joked looking up to the sky thankfully, he merely glared at me, before beginning to laugh pretty hysterically. "I love you." I pecked his lips softly before letting him step away from the door so I could slip out.

My brain seemed to have rewired itself, my mindset having changed more than I really would have thought was possible. It was just hard to comprehend, I guess love just wasn't something I understood yet, honestly I questioned whether I ever would understand it. Knowing what it was and actually understanding were two very different things, I could only say I had achieved one. I knew what it was that I loved, I knew that I loved Gerard, I knew that I loved Kyle, but I couldn't say I understood love in itself, because that never made sense.

What I think made it hard for me to understand, was how it made me feel, how it made a person, how crazy love can make you. Understanding how it can change your mood, how simply seeing someone can make your day, how making them happy makes you so content, I will never understand. How could someone understand it, it didn't make sense, I couldn't even understand how it was possible, how could someone else make you so happy? How do people completely rely on others? I do it, I wouldn't be complete or happy without Gerard, without Kyle, but I don't see how that emotion was possible.

Before I had met Gerard, I never realized what the deal was, I never saw the point, I never understood. Understand, I never will, but I did know and I did understand that people could be in love, I understood why they loved someone, why they relied on them. I understood love, in one way, but I never understood how, how love could do what it did, how my head did what it did, why my heart skipped a beat when I was with Gerard. Maybe the question was, why did Gerard make me so happy?

In the beginning, I didn't care, in fact I thought love was kinda pointless, I hated the whole concept of it and I never wanted a part of it. Safe to say, my attempts of staying away failed...epically. Falling in love was never part of the plan, I wanted sex, that's all I asked for, all I needed. All the blame falls on Gerard, I blame him, I asked for sex, he gave me more. Caring wasn't part of the necessary 'relationship', never the less, he cared, he cared like nobody else did. All he had to do was fuck me, but he gave me a reason to like him, he made me want to be with him and that made me realize what the whole love thing was.