My Way Home Is Through You (Frerard)

Chapter 36

Time lapse: 14th February (Frank's been out of hospital a week)

Sitting up, I saw Gerard sat up agaisnt the headbaord shaking and breathing heavily, it didn't even take me a second to know what was going on, it didn't surprise me, not really, if I was forced to hold a spider, I'd be freaking out. As I had known without even having to look, he had the insulin filled needle in his hand, holding it out before him, his hands shaking and his eyes screwed shut in fear. I felt so guilty, it was all my fault, if my shitty emmune system letting me get fucking cancer, he wouldn't be freaking out daily because he had to stab himself with the thing that scared him most.

"Hey, hey calm down." I whispered taking the needle off him, putting it in the box and on the bedside table for a moment, Jesus I felt so bad and guilty. "I'm sorry," I added, straddling him gently, his face in my hands, looking more realxed now as he just stared into my face lovingly.

"I didn't mean to-to wake you Frankie, j-just get rest." He smiled weakly pecking my lips quickly, trying to get me back to bed, like he had all week. All week he had kept me at home, Hannah pretending to be my wife telling the school I had just been released from hosptial from cancer, maybe he couldn't see that I was absolutely fine, as good as him, if not better. Not because he was ill particularly just because he was fucking unstable every damn morning, shaking, although this was the worst morning so far, he did manage it before, just injecting and realizing his was freaking out over nothing.

"Gee please, I'm fine, I'm as good as new." I grinned standing up on the bed, "I'm like a renewed child." I laughed jumping up and down, "Full of energy and I feel great!" I smiled dancing around like an idiot, dodging his feet as he sat back laughing at me, actually bouncing on the bed like a kid is fun. Grinning like an idiot, I crouched down and grabbed his hands yanking him up so he was stood in front of me on the bed, I was such a childish idiot, but somewhere inside I knew he was too, he would like jumping on our bouncy as fuck memory foam matress with me too. "Come on fucker," I smirked, "You know you want to." I whispered holding him close to me, seeing a small smile creep onto his face, when he didn't reply or do anything, I stared at him with a very straight face, I pushed him backwards against the headboard again, "You're mean," I pouted sitting on him again, my legs crossed, "I'm fine honest." I said my eyes wide like a puppy and a little sad.

"Well it's Friday, so you may as well stay home." He shrugged, smiling at me like he knew something I didn't, I hated that look, everytime I was right, he knew something and he gave me some surprise, which I obviously loved but it was never fair, he never let me do shit like that for him, no matter how I tried.

"Huh." I grunted, pressing my lips against his for a deep kiss which he happily let, running my left hand through his hair, I felt both of his hands run up my thighs, I used my left hand to interlock my fingers with his, making it seem calm and inocent.

As I had hoped, he didn't think anything of it, I kept my fingers tightly interlocked with his, whilst subtly fumbling my right hand around on the night stand for the needle, which I found. Slowly and where he couldn't see, I lifted towards his arm, which I was holding in position, I was seriously worried I was going to get it wrong, I knew how to do it, where to do it and what vein to do it in, but I was still scared shitless I was going to do it wrong and put him at risk or hurt him. So I didn't make him think anything was up, I just kissed him rougher, stabbing his arm suddenly with the needle, making his eyes open wide with shock. He pulled away staring at me, a little annoyed and shocked, but also seemingly thankful, I pulled the needle out a moment later, smiling innocently, before gently placing the needle back in the box and closing the lid.

When I turned back to him, I gently wiped the single drop of blood from his arm, smiling up at him, when he whispered a soft 'thank you' before running his hands through my hair slowly to get it out of my face. Resting his hands on my cheeks, he stared into my eyes like he was frozen in that spot, his eyes staring into mine lovingly as I looked back at him. One thing I truly loved was getting lost in his eyes, just smiling into them, the golden hazel colour, one that I have never seen in anyone else, jsut another reason drawing me to him over anyone else. Blushing a tiny bit, feeling my cheeks pinken slightly, I bit my lip darting my eyes away from him, looking back up when he moved his hands, before pulling my face to his to kiss me.