My Way Home Is Through You (Frerard)

Chapter 26

"Pick up for fu-" I cut myself off when, much to my surprise Gerard actually answered my call Skype call, his face appearing on the screen in front of me. Freezing for a moment, surprised for sure, I just stared at Gerard waiting for him to do or say something, which he failed to do, just stared back at me, blank expression, like he was just a robot. Easy to say I was very offended and genuinely hurt that he had ignored me, blocked me out like he didn't care, but the absolutely careless, blank expression on his face then broke me down, that tiny part that wasn't in pain before, was pained then.

Nothing was said for several minutes, I was debating hanging up, I was done making an effort, I had had no contact from him for a whole week, he had just shut us out for a whole week, he had to do the work. More importantly, he needed to have a very good explanation, something believable and acceptable, he may be his own person but goddamn it he couldn't just disappear like that. nI was adamant he seemed to assume I didn't understand how he felt, he would probably try to convince me that too, either that or he would act like nothing had even happened, like he hadn't denied any contact with anyone for an entire week. Whichever he did it would definitely piss me off.

Never the less, I wasn't going to bring that on myself, he wanted to talk to me he was making the effort now, if he didn't want to talk to me, well that would hurt, it would be rude and well...he could fuck off. After a few minutes though, he didn't move, look up and then begin to speak.

"I'm sorry." He whispered slowly, maybe he had come across the many thousands of pissed off and worried messages I had sent hime, or maybe he had found some common sense, his only flaw being you can't fucking blank someone for an entire fucking week and then just say sorry, no, not how it fucking works.

"Sorry?" I scoffed in completely shock, I honestly couldn't believe he was going to do that, "You're fucking 'sorry'?! No, no I'll tell you what fucking sorry is, sorry is breaking a plate accidentily and apologizing and buying a replacement, or overreacting and realizing you were overreacting." I cried throwing my hands up in complete disbelief, taking a deep breath I ran my hands through my hair, leaning back on the chair, just waiting for him to come up with some bullshit excuse as to why he hadn't called me.

After another long pause he looked up at the camera, having spent most of the call so far staring down at his legs crossed beneath him on the bed, his hazel eyes just stared at me for a moment, glassy with tears. "I was in shock," He whispered, I struggled not to laugh at him, laugh simply because he was ridiculous for thinking I wasn't too. "It hurt Frankie, y-you wouldn't un-"

"STOP!" I yelled, quite possibly the loudest I had ever shouted in my entire life, the infuriated me to the fullest extent, I threw the desk chair out from underneath me, smacking the test papers I had been marking up in the air, them scattering and floating down all over the room. "You!" I turned away kicking the rolling chair towards the wall, "You are fucking insane," I turned back around again to face the laptop, walking towards it, "If you really think i wouldn't understand! You are fucking insane." I continued my breathing getting heavier by the minute as I just got angrier and angrier. "I know exactly how you are feeling Gerard." I screwed my fists into balls staring at the ceiling, tears threatening to roll down my face.

"No Frankie, I-"

"Stop it." I interupted him suddenly throwing a sock at the camera, before collapsing onto the bed behind me, I was just a confused mess of emotions, I was angry, I was past angry, I was furious, yet I was devasted, so sad I just wanted to break down and cry. One moment I wanted to punch Gerard several times over in the face, let him no how angry and upset I was at him, then the next I just wanted to cry in his arms, tell him I was sorry it had happened, tell him I love him. The worst part of it all being that the anger was very very much overpowering any other emotion.