My Way Home Is Through You (Frerard)

Chapter 29

After about fifteen minutes of nothing, silence and a few people walking past reception, the door swung open and Daddy walked in quickly. He started towards the desk, but as soon as he saw me, he came to me instead, his unhappy face smiling as he kneeled before me. I could see he was sad, but he smiled at me and I smiled back knowing he wouldn't be smiling for long, he just wasn't happy without Dad.

"Hey bud," He smiled pushing my hair behind my ear, before resting his arms on my knees, "You ok-" He cut himself off when hi eyes fell to my arm, tears came to his eyes and he looked right back up into my face in disbelief. He looked all around like he was scared and confused, before his eyes landed back on me and I saw he was crying properly.

"Daddy, it's-" I stopped when Mrs Lane turned up next to us again and D addy turned around to her, still looking scared and confused like he was hoping she would help.

"What happened? Who did this to him? What did it?" He asked, I could tell he knew as well as Mrs Lane and me that I had done it to myself but he didn't want to believe it, he was looking for an excuse not to believe it.

"Well Mr Iero-"

"I did," I said and he collapsed, his legs just giving up under him, him falling onto his butt, crying because clearly that paerticularly devastated him, I really really hoped it wasn't me making him cry so bad, not just me.

"No, No you- please you-" He shook his head, wiping his tears and sitting up on the chair next to me, he was trying to convince himself that I hadn't cut myself. I nodded, I wasn't denying it, he didn't seem to love me, he probably didn't care, so I would just tell him the honest truth.

"He said he didn't think you loved him, I told him that you very much did, I also suggested he talks to someone if he thinks there are any domestic problems." She smiled softly, I guessed she could see the expression on Daddy's face too, it must have been scaring her too.

"Oh god Kyle." He cried pulling me into his chest tightly and hugging me, I could feel him crying down my back, I didn't want to make him cry, I didn't like that, Iliked when everyone was happy, when Dad was home, he and Daddy loved each other like usual, they didn't fight and I could play with them and we were all happy. I didn't like when they beat each other up at night, when I went to bed, they thought I was asleep and then Daddy just started screaming and swearing and there was lots of banging. Although that didn't happen much, maybe once a week or even less, I didn't like the idea that Dad hit him, even though they were always happy before and after and Daddy never had bruises, except sometimes on his neck.

"Are you okay Daddy?" I asked pulling away enough to wipe his tears and smily kindly at him.

"Y-you really think I don't love you?" He asked, still crying, clearly unable to stop. I just shrugged, I didn't really know, I only thought that the last week but I had thought it so much, so strongly thie last week that it cancelled the rest out.

Having obviously upset him a lot more, he just let more tears fall from his eyes as he stood up and turned away from me walking to the reception area. I hadn't meant to upset him more. He signed me out before grabbing my bag and walking back through the door he can in, he didn't actually say anything to me but I assumed I should follow, so I stayed fairly close behind him. He didn't tturn back until we reached the car, he unlocked it, put my bag in the trunk and then turned around to check I was there.

When he turned to face me I saw he was crying, I smiled weakly at him and he tried to force a smile back, I could see how hard it was though. He was just so unhappy, his eyes showed it, his lack of smile, the crying, everything but I wasn't sure if he missed Dad or was upset at me, or both even. Whichever it was, it felt bad and it scared me a little, especially if it was because of me.