Mamáng never brought up the incident as we finished our meal. She just let me cry in her arms 'til I had no more tears to drop.
And it was such an unforgettable moment. I never thought at this age of mine, I would still crave her warmth and comfort—given the fact that we were never this close before.
From staring out of the window, my eyes darted on her when she refilled my glass with water.
"Drink more water, Cresencia. You look dehydrated."
"Thanks, Mamáng," I said almost in a whisper.
"Have you cried all night? You look ugly now!" She spat jokingly that made me smile a bit. Matapos ng ilang sandali ay bumuntong hininga siya at pinakatitigan ako. I didn't dare meet her gaze. "You want to talk about it? I'm all ears."
Hindi ko alam kong tatango ba ako o iiling. Sa totoo lang ay nawalan na ako ng lakas para magpaliwanag.
Inangat ko na lang ang ulo at lumunok nang marahan. "I just want to sleep. Can I take a rest now Mamáng?"
We both looked at the wall clock. Alas-nuwebe pa lang nang umaga.
"Sure, sure!" Mabilis itong tumayo at nagligpit. Matapos ay lumapit siya sa akin para alalayang tumayo. "Come."
Natawa ako nang mahina at bahagyang umatras. "Mamáng, I am not disabled. I can walk."
She lightly pinched my waist. "Sulitin mo na ang pagiging maalalahanin ko dahil minsan lang 'to."
Tahimik kaming dumiretso sa aking kuwarto. She helped me lay down and pulled the sheets until my waist. Umalis siya ng aking kuwarto at pagbalik ay dala na niya ang electric fan.
"Mamáng, sa 'yo 'yan. Mainit at alam kong kailangan mo 'yan."
Matigas itong umiling at itinutok sa 'kin ang hangin. "Why would I use it all by myself if we can share it?" Bumalik ito sa gilid ko at nagulat na lang ako nang umakyat ito sa higaan ko. "Move," she commanded and I slowly followed.
"Anong drama mo Mamáng?" I tried to kid, trying to shoo her but she just glared at me.
"I'll join you as you take your rest," she murmured and snuggled beside me.
Bahagya mang nagugulat sa kaniyang panlalambing ay hindi ko maiwasang tumaba ang puso. I eventually gave up and hugged her as I closed my eyes to rest.
Kinabukasan, nagyaya si Mamáng na mamalengke na siyang hindi ko tinanggihan. I didn't know if she was doing it to make me feel better or she really did want to go out. If it was the latter, then I was glad that she was already facing the truth. Because going out would mean that people would look at and insult us from what we were now.
Hindi naman na malaking isyu ang nangyaring pagkakasadlak sa amin dahil matagal na kaming nandito ulit. And although we didn't broadcast it, I guess they already knew that Papáng was already gone. We were happy that our neighbors never mentioned about him again. 'Yon nga lang ay mayro'n pa rin talagang mga taong hindi makalimut-limot sa pagkakabagsak ng iba dahil patuloy pa rin kaming ginagawang pulutan sa tsismis nila.
But that was already a human's nature. Some people would likely boo your success and cheer your failure.
Sanay na ako sa mga awa at pang-iinsulto ng dati naming mga kakilala sa tagal ko nang paglalabas at pagtatrabaho sa eatery. Ayoko lang maramdaman ni Mamáng ang mga iyon pero kung ito man ang gusto niyang mangyari ay lugod ko siyang sasamahan.
Sabagay, pa'no nga naman kami makakatawid sa pagkalugmok kung hindi namin haharapin ang mga putik? Hindi kami makakaahon kung mananatili kaming lubog sa putikan ng kahapon.
