My Safe Haven (BxB)

Chapter XXXIII - Declaration of Love

Andrew's POV – Same Day

I've said this before, and I'll say it again for good measure, I hate alcohol because it always found a way to get me in trouble. Why, you may ask? Well, it's because it always finds a way to make me bold. Irrespective of how much I'd say no to something on a sober mind, with just an intsy tiny bit of alcohol, that goes flying out the window, and that is how I find myself walking, well, wobbling in the rain, and I think you know where I'm heading. You don't? Well, I'm gonna get my man back, whatever it takes.

I know I'd never say this on a sober mind, but I'm not sober, so deal with it. My anxiety continues to rise as I walk further down the road that has become so familiar to me. You know, whoever said that history always has a way of repeating itself, knew their story entirely. I'm going to find myself on Christian's front porch once again, and I must say, I'm almost shitting myself. Just like the first time.

And sooner than I would've liked, I am stood outside of Christian's door, wet from head to toe. The awkward way in which my clothes stuck to my body didn't help distract me from the massive task that awaits me, as I am still sweating bullets. So, I decide to swallow my fear and raise my fist and knock on his front door. And that's when reality hits me...

"Oh my God, what have I done? Oh no, oh n..." I don't get to finish my rant, as the door swings open. I have my mind screaming 'Oh my God!', but not out of fear, no. But out of the sheer beauty that stands before me. He's so beautiful. Even with his head bandaged up, even with his hand in a sling like mine, he's still so beautiful.

I am brought out of my daze when I feel warm raindrops on my cheeks. Wait, when did raindrops get warm all of a sudden? Oh, that's because these aren't raindrops, but tears.

"Hi Ian" I greet lowly.

He sighs, and exits his house fully, stepping outside, and starring straight at me. His gaze scrutinizes my every move, and the longer his eyes stay on me, the more I feel the alcohol seep out of my body.

"You look..." Beautiful. Gorgeous. Pretty. "...amazing."

"Thanks" he answers coldly. As cold as his response is, I can't help but be glad that he at least bothered himself to respond.

"I've missed you, and I've been stressing about you..."

"You've been stressing about me?" he interrupts.

"Yes" I answer, already feeling my lips pulling into a frown.

"Why?" he questions.

"Cause I heard from Pam that you were in a car accident..."

"But you never bothered to visit Andrew, not even once!" he expresses, clearly heated. "A person that's been 'stressing' would have made means to show up."

"I just didn't know how you'd react Ian..."

"Yet you're here?" he interrupts again.

"Christian, but you're not giving me an opportunity to explain things" I state sadly.

"And let me ask you this Andrew, do you think, in your right state of mind, that you deserve an opportunity?" he asks, and my silence seems to give him the response he needed. "Exactly."

"I'm trying Ian. Please don't shut me out."

"And why shouldn't I Andrew?" he ponders.

"Because-because" I pause "because, you're all I have Ian."

"So you're only here because I'm all you have? Didn't you break up with me?"

"I did, and I freaking hate myself for doing that to you Christian because you sure as hell didn't deserve that. I took all of my frustrations out on you and used you as an outlet, which was so unfair to you. I need you to understand, that I was overwhelmed by guilt, and I thought breaking up with you would help ease some of it, but if there's anything, it contributed heavily on it. I've made some pretty fucked up mistakes in my life, but letting you go was my biggest one to date!" I sob. "When Pam told me th-that you almost died," I sniffle "I realized that I could've lost you right then and there. I realized that you could've left this planet, leaving me with all the pain and guilt I felt..."

"So you're doing all this to get rid of the 'pain and guilt' you feel? Is that it Andrew?"

"No Ian, that's not it. Please listen to me, I'm begging you man" I say, my sobs getting louder. "I've had so much time to reflect on my actions over the past number of weeks, and I've come to my senses of everything..."

"Can you undisputedly say that you are in your senses, taking into consideration that you smell like a distillery?" I pause at his words, and sigh in defeat at how futile this attempt to fix things is. I mean, I've done so much bad to Christian, but he's never been this rude to me, so I'm a bit taken aback by his words towards me. But what did I expect, because everyone has their own breaking point, others just reach it faster than others; and right now, I believe that Christian has reached his. I raise my eyes to meet his, and as soon as our eyes meet, my heart melts at the sight.

Not to exaggerate , but I could write an entire novel about his eyes alone. How stupid was I to let go of such magnificence? I don't know, but the bottom line is, I was stupid.

I continue starring in his eyes, as if capturing this exact moment, so I can always relive it. God, any person that will end up with him is one lucky son of a gun, I think to myself, before regret starts seeping in. Gosh, what was I expecting coming here? That he'd actually forgive me? This isn't some fairy tale, Andrew...

"I apologize for talking to you like that" he states, taking me out of my stupor.

"No it's okay, I deserve that" I reply, hanging my head in shame. "Well, I'll get going then" I add, about to make my way back home, before I stop in my tracks at the realization of what I'm doing. I'm robbing myself of a shot at fixing things with him. "You know what Christian, fuck you" I spit, my eyes swelling with some more tears.

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah you heard me! Fuck you for thinking that I was just going to leave like that cause I ain't going nowhere!"

"Andrew you're being way to loud for my liking, I don't want the neighbours to complain..."

"Then fuck the neighbours too!" I yell. "In fact, the whole town can wake the fuck up because there's absolutely no one that's going to stop me from doing anything."

"Why are you doing this Andrew?"

"Because I need you Ian! I freaking need you in my life!"

"Then why the heck did you dump me?!" he asks, his voice a few tones higher.

"Because," I pause "because I love you. I love you so much it hurts my heart not to say it Ian" I express, on the verge of tears, before I am dragged forward, and engulfed in dizzying hug, as his hand wraps around my waist, unlocking the tears that have been threatening to fall.

"Say it again Andie, say it again."

I pull away from the hug, and look him in the eyes, "I love you Christian."

"You're lucky I love you too" he chuckles.

And at that, an invisible magnet pulls me to him and I attach my lips to his, in a world stopping kiss. And there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't give to have this every other day.

*****

Hello Lovelies

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