Memories ~ Attack on Titan

Chapter twenty four

Breakfast went quickly, I expected as much considering today was our mission.
I walked into the dinning hall, Eren, Armin and Mikasa sat at a table to the far right. I went up behind Armin and planted my hands firmly on his shoulders, scaring him to the point of jumping. His head turned around in terror. I tried to hold it in but the laughter escaped my lips. Armin was a general soul, the boy had no Titan kills and honestly, I've hardly ever heard him raise his voice. He groaned at the realization that I was the one behind him, "Rin!"
I took a seat next to the blond, "I sorry, you looked like you were zoned out, so I figured it the perfect time to scare you."
And that was true, but I really just wanted an excuse to see them all before we left. I was pretty good at keeping it hidden with my emotionless demeanor, but inside I was shaking.
I know Eren and the others wouldn't have thought twice if I just came and sat with them but my anxiety told me different. Damn this anxiety, I never understood how my father was so empty but I had all these emotions that constantly swirled and spiraled inside me. I felt like I need to conjure up a reason for my presence just incase it was ever in question.
I looked across the table to meet a pair of green eyes, if Eren was trying to hide his nerves he was doing a terrible job. He'd be with squad Levi. My heart clenched with a mix of worry and jealousy.
"Eren, don't do anything to piss off my dad, i can tell that's what you're thinking. You'll be fine, jsut follow orders." Eren gave a smile, the kind of smile that looked like he had cut it out of a newspaper and glued it to his mouth, he down towards the table, obviously not but trying to be genuine. "I'll do my best."
My conversation was interrupted but the feeling of being watched. Eyes that felt like the frozen mountains that Eren told me about.
I excused myself from the table, slightly annoyed that my will was interrupted by the likes of my fathers. It was always do as he says and follow his example, but damn let me eat where I want.
I approached the table of squad Levi and stood next to my father, not hiding the annoyance from my face as I looked down at him. It was like we were at war, a mental war between just him and me. The others didn't seem to get the memo as Petra's airy voice infiltrated our unspoken conversation "heey, come to eat with us?" She chirped.
My eyes darted from my father refusing to give him another reaction.
"came to wish everyone good luck," I started before I was interrupted again by a scoff from Oluo, "Kid I don't need luck, I have raw talent." The table shook as Petra kicked him under it. Everyone always says they argue like a married couple but they always reminded me more of siblings.
Gunther laughed, "thanks Rin." Eld looked over at me as well, "and good luck to you, this is your first expedition."
The table went silent at the sound of a scoff from Levi. My father was a man of few words but was also known for his temper. "she already has two kills so I wouldn't be too worried. And shes my child," he said putting emphasis on the word my. I felt my heart speed up. Levi didn't often acknowledge my talents, my stomach did a leap.
I guess being the famous Levi Ackerman's daughter comes with that pressure. I straitened my posture and glared at the tile floor. The sound of wood scraping tile made my eyes rise. My father was standing in front of me, he was only a little taller than me but his demeanor still shook me to my core. We stared into each other's eyes. His grey orbs filled with nothing, no fear or sorrow, just blank grey blankets. I tried my best to match them, but I felt the dolefulness force its way into my features.
"Be safe Rin. I don't know if I'll be able to look out for you out there. So do us all a favor and don't die on your first day."
I inspected his features looking for some sign of sarcasm. But there was none.
I didn't know what to say. I guess i took too long to conjure up a response because he stated again, "Say you will so i know you understand."
"I'll come home dad." After that he looked at me with an unreadable expressing,"go find your friends." I forced a smile and then at the others. I spotted Reiner, Bertolt, Annie and Jean at one table and Sasha and Connie at the end of another. I ran up behind Connie and Sasha and put one arm around both of them and pulled them in for a hug, "I love you guys please be careful!" I said still emotional." Connie choked a little, "Rin. Geez you trying to kill me." Sasha laughed and started crying at the same time, "I love you too Rin!" She cried and pulled away tackling me in a hug, "please come back okay? Promise you'll come back! Promise me!" She practically yelled. I laughed a little as I held her, "I promise, now please, stop crying, people are looking at us." Connie pulled her off, "geez what's gotten into you. Here, you can have the rest of my bread if you just calm down." Sasha stoped crying immediately and snatched Connie's bread. I laughed a little at the two before turning and heading for Reiner, Bertolt, Annie and Jean. Jean's back was facing me so I took the opportunity to sneak up behind him. I walked up behind him and Reiner looked up at me. I put my finger to my lips telling him to be quiet as I tackle hugged Jean. Jean jumped and looked back at me, "Damn Rin. why do tug keep doing that?" I laughed and sat next to him, "because. Anyway, it looked like people are already leaving. Are you guys ready to head out?" Annie stood up first, "yes. Goodbye." I stood up and walked after her, "hey wait a second." She stoped waking and turned to look at me, "what," she said in a cold tone. I suddenly felt flustered and uncomfortable, "I uh. Just wanted to tell you good luck, and be careful. Though you're really strong so I doubt you'll have much to worry about. But still, I want everyone I care about to come back safe, that includes you. I like you a lot, I've always thought you were cool, so try not to get hurt okay?" I said softly and smiled up at her. She didn't say anything, did I really expect her to? "Also, I uh, usually hug everyone but I'm not sure if you're into that. I just do it to give myself a piece of mind but if that makes you uncomfortable then-" I stoped talking when she wrapped one arm around me for a hug, it lasted less than a second but it still counted. Before I could say anything she was already walking away. I turned back to the three boys, Reiner especially looked shocked. I ran back to them and sat down. Reiner then laughed, "wow Rin, even got Annie to soften up a little. You're a hero alright." Bertolt laughed a little uncomfortably too.
After a few minutes everyone started leaving. I went up to Reiner and Bertolt, I hugged them both with one arm, "be safe guys." Bertolt smiled a little at me, "you too Rin." I let go of the boys hug Reiner pulled me back for a real hug, "don't do anything stupid, I know you're trying to impress your father and you feel inferior but don't. You're one of the best people I know, kind, beautiful and damn strong too." I held my breath at his words, "how did you-" he cut me off, "it's obvious by your face whenever you're around him." I sighed and hugged him back. Then I let go and ran to the front of the group. "Erwin, Hange, Miche!" I yelled at the three in front of me. I had to wish them good luck too, that was my family after all.