Memories ~ Attack on Titan

Chapter forty four

My body felt hot and I could feel myself drenched in sweat, my skin was covered in a layer of goose bumps. My head pounded as I opened my eyes, I felt the crust forming in my corners prick my eyes as they opened. It felt like I just woke from a dream, one of those dreams that feels never ending, like it's been an eternity between then and the last time I was awake. I thought about the moments before the dream,
Dream.
Was it a dream? It never felt like one. Miche's touch felt like home. You can't truly find home in a dream.
I let myself get distracted by thought of the other day, other day? How long as I truly asleep? With squinted eyes I looked around for the first time since my sleep, and I saw the bottom of a chin, Jean, he seemed to panting and worry was written all over his face. This wasn't a feeling I missed, the panic and dread of the real world. My Jean, what have I done in my life to deserve someone as genuine and kind as him? Thinking of him made me smile, even a small giggle felt like it wanted to escape my mouth, Suddenly the thought of noises of even words attempting to come out caused a tickle in my throat, then I started to cough, I felt overwhelmed over the motion of moving and making noise for the first time, it felt like I had never spoken before, like I was in some alternate reality where I was about to move or speak for the first time. Jean stopped walking and even jumped a bit as his eyes widened and pulled me closer, "Rin! You're awake." My cough died down, I forced the remaining coughs back down my throat as I cleared my throat and struggled to speak, I felt immense pressure, if I truly hadn't spoken in a while, I couldn't say something stupid. But nothing intelligent came to mind, so I simple settled with a "hey...how long was I gone?" Jean came begun walking again, he cleared his throat now, "only about an hour, you hit your head pretty hard, you promised you'd be careful and protect yourself," he laughed, "looks like I get to look after you now."
Only an hour?
I didn't say anything, what was I supposed to say? I turned my head to see Levi standing in front of us, by us I mean just Jean, Mikasa and I. Then I heard foot steps behind us, they were heavy and seemed to be in a struggle, I couldn't let this go on anymore, I can't keep being helpless. It's time I face reality again. "hey put me down now, I can walk," I said softly but forcefully to Jean, I bit more forceful then I intended but I just went with it. Jean took a deep breath before putting my feet on the ground. I put my hand on his shoulder for support. I felt wobbly but as soon as I took my first step, the other fell in toe, it felt almost natural to walk again. I glanced behind us, Armin and Moblit were carrying an unconscious Hange. Seeing them like that, I felt a small pang in my chest, but this was real life and I need to keep myself together. My father was standing in front of this huge sheet of metal resembling a gate. I forced myself together and briskly walked with all the confidence I would pull up to where Levi and Mikasa stood. I stood next to my father who just shot my a sideways glance. He looked up, and my eyes moved to see what took his attention. "It might be a way through," he said to me. It felt good to be a part of things again, "but it's blocked, if only we had some gunpowder or something, no telling who's on the other side of that," I responded, keeping a straight face. Suddenly we were all nearly blinded by a bright light, the yellow glair made the blue cave around us light up this moss green color. The reality of what the light really meant suddenly sunk in, someone had turned into a Titan. I looked back to see Sasha and Conny with these panicked looks. "Guys! This place is about to collapse!" Sasha yelled. I felt my skin go cold, there has to be a way, the voice of Armin pulled my eyes upwards, "captain! It's open!" He yelled pointing to the hole front before. We all sunk to the floor, swords drawn. Levi however stood up, "okay! Armin and Moblit take Hange and find a way out!" Everyone! You're with me!" Levi, Mikasa and I led the charge beyond the gate.
Mikasa found them first, Levi and I knew where to go because of her. Mikasa was holding Historia when the Captain and I landed between them. "Give me the key!" Levi yelled. The wind for the Titan made it almost to hard to stand. "Captain! Everyone!" Eren yelled." Jean and Levi grabbed Eren's arms and unlocked them, then Levi threw the keys to me to unlock his feet. Meanwhile Eren was blubbering, "just leave me here! Forget it! Hurry up and escape!" Jean snapped in that moment, the weight of his emotions adding to everything that's happened to him today, plus the fact that Eren drove him crazy must have been to much. "Stop whining would you! You half naked weirdo! We've got gunmen and a titan coming at us, so pipe down!" I interrupted the moment once I got Eren's feet loose, "feet are loose!" I yelled. Before I even had a moment to breathe I heard Mikasa yell, "the ceiling! Look out!" I felt Levi push all of us backwards, "get back!" He yelled. I was still on the ground so being able to see much of what was happening was impossible, I forced myself up and looked at the horrific sight displayed in front of us. This Titan, with ungodly power and size was breaking through the cave, rocks were flaying around and even a giant one was landed right where we were sitting only seconds ago. I stood next to Sasha, I felt her hand ready for mine as she interwove our fingers. I looked up at her and met her eyes, I saw the tears pricking at her corners. I refuse to admit it out loud, the the comfort was nice. I squeezed her hand before my thought were pulled to someone else, someone who was now crying on the floor, Eren. He cried like a baby, blubbering like an idiot, "Ive been dead weight every step of the way. This power never should have been given to me. I can't be humanity's hope. I'm too weak. Jean was the first to jump on him, calling him out for all the bullshit he was causing, Jean was always good at this, especially with Eren. "C'mon, stop trying to play the tragic hero. Of course you're too weak to accomplish Jake shit by yourself and no one expects you to." Connie joined in this time, laughing and keeping it light, that was just like him, "yea seriously, we've been through a whole lot worse man." I felt Sasha's grip on my hand tighten as she looked forwards and closed her eyes, "not that I really wanna get used to it." I couldn't help but smile a little, this was my family. Eren, Conny Sasha, Mikasa, Historia, Jean, Armin, Hange, Levi, all of them, I'd do anything for any one of them. I felt a pang in my throat as cleared it, "yea Conny's right, we've been through much worse, I mean this looks like the pits of hell right now and it's gonna suck trying to fly through this mess, but that's just part of it." We stayed silent for a moment, it felt like forever and a minute all at once. Mikasa took the first steps forward, "I'll take Eren," she announced, no one expected different. I looked over at my boyfriend, he had this intensity written all over his face, something I didn't often see on him. It seems he had to wear that look more and more often these days. He even held the same demeanor when he spoke, "it's gonna rise all that we have not to get hit, so hold on for you life. Rin, I got give a damn you're staying by my side. Don't even try to argue I'm not giving you an option." Not that I planned to argue, we needed eachother right now, I knew he needed me, and I was going to let myself need him too. Eren never took Jeans advice and actually did the opposite of piping down, "it's useless! You know we won't make it." I think that was the first time I'd ever seen Historia yell, looking at her face, she didn't look like Historia anymore. I can't quite describe it but it seemed like a whole different person standing here. "So we should do nothing? Wanna sit here and hold hands till we're crushed? Or till we burn to death? You know dying here won't make anything different!" Hearing her voice felt like the voice of a stranger, but it held a strange sense of comfort. Levi used this as his moment to join in, when Levi talked you knew it was important. It's not like he was the strong silent type, but he had a way of speaking that made you listen no matter the setting or circumstances, "listen, I really hate to do this to you all the time..but you e gotta make a choice here." The room went silent, cold even, not actually silent but I think we all felt the pressure, the pressure that made it hard to hear anything but the silence we felt in our hearts in that moment. I couldn't help but gasp when Eren suddenly grabbed something off the floor, yelled and charged the giant Titan fear feet in front of us. With hardly a moment to react, he bit into whatever he was holding, and transformed into a Titan. The room suddenly filled with what looked to be bars made of Titan hardening. The bars wernt arranged in a typical fashion, the responded thorns or even a bush without the leaves. Before anyone could even process the events unfolding in front of us Levi yelled, "come on! Get under Eren!" Sasha let go of my hand but continued to run next to me. "Jean!" I yelled, trying to get closer to him. I felt myself wanting and needing his next to me and this time I wasn't going to fight it. Jeans head jerked over as he forced his was next to me. He grabbed my hand as we ran. The sweat from our palms sticking our hands together like glue. Finally we reached what was suspected to be Eren, it looked like his Titan, only it was made entirely of Titan hardening. My attention drew to the monster form earlier, it was finally made its way out of the cave we were confined in. Him being gone changed the whole atmosphere of the room, it was light again, and it felt like a weight was lifted, like we could all breath again. Mikasa, Jean and I landed in the nape of Eren's Titan, Mikasa and I chipped away at the hardening until we were able to pull him free. Sasha and Conny were sent to find a way out.
I stood next to Jean and Levi as we admired Eren's Titan. Levi hummed slightly, "not to shabby Eren, even after we cut you from it, the Titan hasn't disappeared. This could be a game changer." If Eren can harden his Titan completely and it not disappear..I wonder..
my train of thought was interrupted suddenly by Eren, "I almost forgot, before I transformed I drank from a bottle that said armor."
Armor?
Levi moved from my side and walked to stand in front of Eren, "guess that's all you needed to pull it off, because you did it so easily this time. You saved all our lives. You came up with and built everything here in the blink of an eye. It's not exactly pretty but I can see its potential, I bet this is how the walls were made. Guess what? This means we finally have a real shot in plugging the hole in wall Maria, we had a hell of a time getting here. Watched friends die. But as ugly it's been, look at the position we're in now." Plugging the hole in wall Maria, this is incredible. This means humanity has another shot after all. But one thought was still plagued my mind, this power came from somewhere. Somewhere outside the walls, Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt came from somewhere. I'd never say it out loud but, I don't think humanity is whipped out beyond the walls. Something is still there, and the want to hurt us. I was drawn from my head but Sasha, "we've secured an exit sir!" Conny followed behind her, "also, Hange's fine! So are Armin and Moblit!" I felt instant relief at those words, I couldn't help but laugh as I moved my hand to my face, rubbing my eyes, "I'm so glad to hear it," while Sasha and Conny put on a show to think Eren for saving our asses, I felt Jean sneak his arm around my waist, I felt my face heat up as I looked at the man standing next to me. He looked down at me too, until we made eye contact I could tell he was holding a straight face. Levi was in front of everyone, "let's go, we've got a big ass Titan to catch." His words caught in my head causing me to put my game face back on. I walked next to Jean, holding his hand, and Sasha walked on my other side, babbling on about whatever she was talking about, "seriously tho, I thought we were done for back there," she just continued like that for the rest of the walk. We suddenly got to a hole where we all had to climb up, Eren and Mimas were first out. When i made it to the top I saw a hand reach for mine, Armin, I grabbed his hand gratefully, allowing him to help pull me up. "Armin, I glad you're okay," I smiled, pulling the blond in for a hug. He hugged me back and laughed, "you're glad I'm okay? You're the one with the head injury, I'm glad you're okay." I laughed and finally looked at the view in front of me. My light mood was killed as I saw the path of destruction in front of us. It was night, however the moon was so bright it seemed to light up everything. This allowed me to see just how fucked the ground was, the earth was torn and crushed to rubble and you could tell exactly where that monster went. In the far distance you could see him, pulling his way through the earth. The beast was huge but his arms and legs were so think he couldn't stand, but that didn't stop him from pulling his was to wherever his target was. We all hopped on our horses that luckily were still tied where we left them, after a while I saw a similar face. The man who made all the worry in my mind disappeared for a moment, Erwin Smith, I rode to the front of the line, "Erwin!" I said, glad to see he was alive and well. Erwin looked at me with a look of pure relief, him and I rode over to the wagon where Eren and Historia sat and Hange laid resting their head "Anyone hurt?" He asked, Levi answered, "yea, Hange took a big hit and so did Rin. She should be resting," Levi said shooting me a look. In my mind their was no time for rest. Erwin looked at all of us now, "doesn't look like anything too serious. You've done excellent, all of you." Levi sighed, "I've got a whole slew of thing to report, but first, that Titan, it's Rod Reiss, look forward to hearing your thoughts on this, commander." Erwin's poker face slipped for only a moment when he heard the identity of the Titan, and for the first time ever, it seemed  he didn't know what to say. After a short few moments however, he turned to look at his men, "times short, we can't afford to stand here and chat, head back to the wall." Levi seemed to be just as taken back as I was, "you're gonna let that thing drag its fat ass all the as to Sina?" I sat on my horse next to my father, the same questions running through my mind. Erwin looked back at us, " well, more specifically, I'm letting it continue towards Orvud  District.
As Erwin commanded, we call obaide. I rode in silence next to Jean and behind Levi.
Okay, time to think. What alls even happened? Fuck focus. Lord Reiss was after the Founding Titan, well the power of it anyway. And Eren has that power, I think. But can't the founding titan only be used by someone of royal blood? Or maybe it can only unlock its full potential that way. Either way, Eren can't use his titan to its full potential. But when the founding titan is inherited they'll take on the first kings ideologies, that probably only applies if somebody with Royal Blood inherit the Titan,otherwise Eran would be losing his mind right about now, and would be refusing to do anything about the Titan attacks. What the hell. So the first king really thinks this is peace? What a lunatic.
Eren let out a deep sigh, looking at him, I could tell her was holding something back. "You know, we could always go back. If that Titan eats me then Reiss will become human again and we'll have a true founding Titan."
What a crazy thought that was. Mikasa gasped, If Eren thought she was going let him get eaten then he must be crazy. Levi continued the thought, "it's worth considering. If he turns human then we could capture him. And under the firstKing brainwashing, if that's even possible, it may open a path to save humanity. Tell me Eren, if that turns out to be our best bet are you really willing to go for it?"
Even before he agreed, I knew Eren would say yes. It's just his character. Why did everyone seem so shocked? Self sacrifices all Eren has done this whole time. Unsurprisingly Mikasa didn't hesitate to refuse the offer, "Eren, I can't let you." I mentally rolled my eyes, not because of her words exactly but because of how she says them. Eren isn't going to take demands from her, no matter how much she demands them. But even so, this plan wasn't worth the risk. Historia kept the conversation moving, " let's not forget our Other option. The first plan is way too full of flaws, it may not even be possible to free my father from the old kings will. And even if you restrain him if he altars everyone's memories then that's it. And we still really don't know anything about the founding Titan and what it can do. Is this really worth the risk?" I rubbed my eyes, "no. Are we sure Reiss even would turn back to normal if he ate Eren?" Historia sook her head, " so far we've only been led by destructive pacifists. And if we let them keep the fountain titans power then that's just how it it's gonna stay." I rode closer to the wagon, "this is humanity first chance to escape from them." Historia nodded, "Eren, your father wasn't evil. He was trying to save humanity from the first king. he stole the founding titan from my sister and then murdered my father's wife and other children. Because he had no choice." Eren looked like he could have gone into a coma. His eyes wide as he held his head. Armin piped up, seeming almost excited about the subject, "yea! The doctor Jeager I knew would've only done something like that if he really had no choice! There must be a way to save humanity! Without Reiss blood! That must be why he left you the key to the cellar!" Everyone was silent for a moment, just taking in the information.
I felt myself zoning out, my head was pounding. Damn these headaches. Sasha looked over at me confused, " I forgotten all about the cellar. You mean it's actually important now?" Connie huffed, "apparently." I looked to my boyfriend riding on the horse next to me. All this had my mind swimming so far that I haven't even asked him what he thought. However, he wasn't looking at me. He had this scowl on his face," The only thing that's important to me is plugging Wall Maria. The way I see it, our choice should be pretty clear." He never liked Eren, so I should have expected as much. But he's hardly acknowledged me this whole ride. I guess I can't complain since I've talked to him just as little.
Levi, who still led the group, went on, " you know, that's a fairly convincing argument."
Hange agreed, "I think we should stick with Eren too. But listen, are you sure about this Historia? That Titans a major threat. We can't just let it wander around freely inside the walls. We can't capture it, it's way too big. Which means we have to kill it. We'd have to kill your Father" The way Hange said it, it sounded more brutal than I saw it. He was her blood, nothing more. He was never a Father. The more I tried to examine Historia's the face, the more unclear her emotions seemed. She seemed to agree, but in a sad way. She smiled now, looking over at Eren, "Eren, I should apologize. Back then, under the chapel, I really considered turning into a Titan and just killing you. And honestly, I didn't consider it to save humanity. I just really wanted my Father to be right. But even more than that, I wanted him to like me. But it's time for him and I to part ways.

That's not an unfair thing to think Historia. I too would do anything for my Father to like me. To be proud of me.

Just then, I saw the wall in the distance. Moments later we approached the Orvud District Regiment Branch. Everyone got off their horses and brung to stretch. I got off my horse as well, stretching my back, feeling the stiffness pop leaving me with instant satisfaction. I reached my arms above my head and begun to stretch, popping my wrist and elbows. A guard walked up to myFather, I could hear them talking slightly towards the front of the small crowd. " Have everybody meet in the hall. They're almost ready to start the meeting. Levi agreed, "well he right there." Levi walked passed me and motioned for me to follow. We all stood behind him as he approached historia and Eren, "Historia, i'm sorry, but I have one more thing for you to do. This is an order from Erwin. Once you finish off this Titan, seeing as you're the true successor to the throne, you'll become queen." Everyone gasped, was I the only one who suspected this? Sasha blurted out, "Queen Historia? You're kidding, right?" I shook my head, "why would he be? It'll be makes sense." Levi agreed, "right, the coup d'e'tat was a success, but the people won't follow military rule forever. They need a heartwarming story. One where the rightful owner retakes her crown from the pretend." Everyone was silent. Historia looks at her feet, "I see." it was better this way, forall humanity. The people need a ruler, and let's face it, She wasn't meant to fight in wars. Conny raised his hand asking permission to speak, " hey you heard what she was saying earlier right Captain. Cause it seems to me like maybe in siding against her dad she finally broke off from that part of her life, you know? It's just like uh," Levi became visibly mad, the scary mad where people get afraid to talk around him out of fear of seeming like an idiot. Levi snapped at the poor guy, " like what. you have something to say just up and say it." I felt a familiar body push past me, he stood in front of Levi but wasn't able to look him in the eyes. Even strong men like Jean cower in front of my Father. However, Jeans words were clear,"captain, what Conny is trying to say is that Historia finally broke free of her family and proved that she's more than just her bloodline. And for us to force her into that role again, we don't think it's fair." To see Jean standing up for her like that, he seemed so protective I'm sure himself. It made my stomach do a weird flip, especially because he's hardly said a word to me since we first got on our horses and headed for the wall. Historia was quick to rebuttal," it's fine. If my next duty is to become the queen, then that's what I'm going to do. I do appreciate everybody's concern, but this really is my decision. And I have decided, but captain I have one request. While my fate is still my own to decide, I want to put my all on the front line." Levi gave a single nod.

While everyone stood around the wooden table, looking at the map and listening to Erwin's plan, Historia enterers, wearing her ODM gear.
We stood in formation, Historia stood between Mikasa and I. Mikasa leaned her head over and whispered to Historia, " you know once you're queen you can finally punch that smug runt right in the face." I cousins have but snicker, Historia elbowed me. "Guys!" She laughed.
A soldier entered, " we have determined the Titans location! It's Southwest, approaching Orvud. It's fast, at this rate it'll reach the wall before dawn."
"Right. Commander Erwin, I'm sure everyone would like to hear your plan. How can we evacuate in such a short time?"
Erwin stayed as cool as ever, " that's not part of the plan. The people of Orvud District will need to say exactly where they are."
"But..commander"
Whispers filled the room. I refused to I think anymore about it. I trusted Erwin with my life, and if this was his plan then so be it.