SIMPLE SERAH

~Dear Diary~

||SERAH||

~♥️~Dear diary, I've completely fallen. It's again like the old times. Falling and suffering in the dark. I'm hurting. I'm also having a hard time hiding what I feel. Admittedly, Asahd is consuming if not confusing me. He is all over my thoughts, slowly but surely reigning in them. In my heart too, busy manipulating my feelings. At this point, I really don't know how I can save myself. I think I'm even beyond that phase. Knowing that scares me. It means that if I can't save myself, then I will have to go through a familiar kind of pain.

It is a tormenting pain but I can brave it. Rather, I will brave it because I have no other choice. In the few times we have been together, I have hoped that he would notice me in a different light but he hasn't. I'm not sure he ever will. Sometimes I don't even know why I hope when I already know it is not possible for a couple of reasons. All the more reason why I have to brave on until I move on. Meanwhile, I will keep my feelings to myself and try harder to hide them. No one has to know. I have done it before. I can do it again. Moreover, I won't let anything hinder the good times I share with Asahd. They make me happy and give me solace as well.~♥️~

Our music group has started converging in our rehearsals studio. We have about five more days to the festivals. Everyone is excited about it despite the pressure being put on us by the directors. Going to festivals means adventure, fun, new experiences, and much more. I'm excited as well. Although I would be more than excited if I got to know whether Asahd will be going as well. I doubt he is. For a busy man like him, it's hard to steal him for more than a week from his schedule. That speculation alone makes me fear having limited time with him.

Upon seeing Sue who is approaching me with a radiant face, I close my phone diary. The last thing I want is for her to get wind of my messed up self. She looks great in her red hoodie crop sweater, matching sweater pants, and white Vans. Classical dancers code at EAMS. It was just yesterday that we were together at her place yet I miss her. Just as much as I miss Asahd. It's been a week since he came to check in on me. Though we have been together two other times at school during the short breaks we get in between rehearsals.

The first time we went to Nature Park and shared his favorite energy drink--Monster Guarana--under a tree while we talked. It was dark but the moon was graceful enough to light up the place. The second time we were at the stairs where we first met. While we talked, I devoured on the spicy crisps he brought me. That was completely unforeseen but all the same heartwarming if not melting. He had remembered me telling him about my insane love for spicy crisps. Sue doesn't about my budding friendship with Asahd. Neither does she know that I'm having it bad for him. I still haven't told her about it, as at the moment, I feel more comfortable keeping it a secret.

"Hey, how have you been?" she greets me with a smile as she sits on the opposite locker chair.

"Great, you?" I respond studying her.

She's wearing a curious face that spells upcoming questionnaires. She probably is going to ask about Asahd. I should have figured that keeping our budding friendship a secret wasn't entirely my choice. She also has a mandate on it. Although if she does ask about him, I'll tell her the scraps. I'll not dare go into details. It's not yet time to open up.

"Also great. I've missed you," she admits as she hands me a banana-flavored lollipop sweet.

It is one of my favorite sweets. She always treats me to it whenever she remembers, which does happen often.

"Thank you. If our director sees me with it he'll kick me out of the team. We are not supposed to eat anything sugary before rehearsals," I inform her with a rebellious smile.