Leaving the 99 (Heart Series #2)

23~Thank you Jesus

Josh was up before the sun.

The first thing he did was drop to his knees and thank Jesus. His friends had forgiven the unforgivable, and it was because of the Lord.

Pulling on a t-shirt and shorts, he shoved his feet in flip-flops and went downstairs to make coffee. The craving for something stronger tugged at him, but Josh had been given a second chance and he wasn't blowing it.

He'd just poured his first cup when Dani stepped into the kitchen with her bags. Stifling a wave of resentment toward her, he took a deep breath and reminded himself how he'd failed her. He had to forgive her, even if she couldn't forgive him.

Seeing him, she stiffened clearly surprised he was about at his hour. "I didn't think anyone would be up this early."

Josh had no idea what to say. She'd clearly been about to take off without saying goodbye, and that made him mad. He didn't want to accuse her. "Coffee?" he offered, choosing to ignore that she was trying to sneak out.

"No." She glanced at her watch impatiently. "Thanks, but I want to get going."

"Where you going?"

"Home." Dani shifted on her high heels. "To Cali. Don't worry. I'm not leaving you stranded I called a cab. " She studied him. "If you want to get out of here too, I can cancel the cab."

"Thanks, but I'm staying." He handed her a cup of coffee and she seemed surprised but took it. "I wish you would too."

"Seriously? They hate us. I'm not sticking around for another bash session, and I don't know why you would either."

"I don't blame them for being upset." He set his cup down carefully. "We talked last night. They've forgiven me, and they will forgive you too if you let them."

"Why do I need their forgiveness?" Her voice rose with anger. "They're no better than we are."

"The other night you said you'd been searching for Jesus." He kept his voice calm, not letting her provoke him. "Did you mean it?"

She stared at him warily. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with what's happening." His gaze locked on hers, silently willing her to understand. "They want to forgive us like Jesus forgives them for their sins. We have to accept their forgiveness just like we do with Jesus."

She dropped her face in her hands. "Josh, I can't do this. I'm sorry. I meant what I said about Jesus, but this is too much for me."

The overwhelming sense of failure washed over him. He'd had a chance to reach Dani and he'd messed it up. "I'm sorry." He raked a hand through his hair, gripping the back of his neck.

Picking up her bags she started to go. At the risk of making things worse, he told her what he needed her to know. "I forgive you. For the abortion. For everything. I let you down."

A cry escaped her. "I didn't do it." She didn't turn around. "I'm still pregnant, Josh." Then, as if she hadn't flipped his world upside down, Dani picked up her bags and walked out the door.

I'm still pregnant.

For several heartbeats he was too stunned to react, wondering if he'd heard wrong.

I'm still pregnant. Dani had said those words.

He was going to be a dad. As if a switch flicked on inside him, Josh came to life with a jolt. He ran.

"Dani, wait!" He slid to a stop in front of her, trying to catch his breath. When she started to step around him, he put his hands on her shoulders. "Please, you can't leave. Not after what you just said. We have to talk."

She stared at him, uncomprehending, her expression stoic. "About what?"

"You're joking."

A condescending, humorless laugh fell from her lips. "I don't expect you to propose so you can relax. This is my problem."

"Hey, we're in this together. You and me. I won't leave you."

"I'll take care of it." She dropped her bags and one landed on his foot, but he ignored the pain.

"Take care of it? I have no clue what that means. Explain it to me."

"You can't be that naïve. We're not ready to be parents." She stared at him like he was clueless. "We have our whole lives ahead of us. I have the courage to go through with it now."

Josh felt like he'd been sucker-punched. "You're talking about having an abortion."

"It's the only solution."

A sense of impending doom hovered like a thundercloud. He'd mourned the loss of his child once, and he could not do it again. "No. It's not. We can get married and have the baby."

"That's hilarious." Another few bars of hollow laughter and then her eyes widened. "You're serious? That's crazy."

"Why is it crazy?" He asked gently, carefully controlling the storm of emotion inside him. "You don't really want an abortion or you wouldn't have left the clinic. I want this baby, Dani, and I'll take care of both of you."

"Do you love me, Josh?" Her tone implied she already knew the answer and so did he.

"Yes, I love you." He'd hesitated only a moment, but it was enough.

Lifting her chin, he saw the sadness swimming in her eyes. "You want the baby, not me."

"Give me a chance. That's all I'm asking." He closed the distance between them and saw the fear flash in her eyes. "We loved each other once and we can do it again." He exhaled his doubts and forged on determined to fix this for all three of them. "I know you're afraid, but I won't let you down."

"What happens the next time you can't deal and need a drink?" she shot back at him. "Or worse you turn to drugs. I know you mean well, but you can't even take care of yourself, Josh."

Each accusation was like a stone hurled at him, but he wouldn't react. He deserved her anger. "Ok. I get it," he said slowly, biting back frustration. "I've messed up, but I can overcome this with Jesus. Please, Dani."

Her ride pulled into the drive.

Dani's expression was torn. When her eyes lifted to his, he wanted to shout his pain but he remained quiet and prayed. "I'm sorry."

He watched as the driver loaded her bag. "Why'd you even tell me about the baby if you wanted to abort it after all?" His voice cracked on the last words.

"I really am sorry." Dani slid into the cab, but before she closed the door she paused. "Goodbye, Josh."