I hate you I love you-EdSer oneshots

Breathe

Set during episode 26.

“Uyan! Wake up Serkan Bolat and see what’s going on behind your back!”

Serkan slowly opened his eyes, his vision blurry, until it cleared and his gaze fell on Eda, the woman who destroyed his heart and mind.

He frowned. He didn’t know how she got in, but he wanted her to leave. Immediately.

Serkan wanted her out of his apartment, and out of his life.

He had enough.


“What are you talking about?”, he mumbled as he stood up to distance himself from her.

Eda followed him with her hands on her hips.

“Balca was here, wearing your shirt. Care to explain?”

A few months ago, hell, a week ago, he would enjoy her jealousy, he would probably even provoke her on purpose, to add the fuel to the constant fire that burned between them.

But, not today. He was tired, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Yesterday, she broke his heart for the final time. That was it. There will be no more fighting for her. No more changing for her. No more begging for just a smile.

No more.

He was done.


“How dare you come to my house and demanding  to explain myself to you?” Serkan asked in a cold voice, looking at her with a strange mixture of indifference and angriness.

Eda stepped back in surprise. He never talked to her like that and he especially never looked at her like that. Like he hated her.

Her heart panged while panic rushed through her whole body.

What has she done?

“I…Serkan…” she stuttered, not knowing what to say.

She had a terrible feeling in her gut that told her that she pushed him too much. That she shouldn’t said what she said to him yesterday.

They haven’t talked the entire day, him clearly avoiding her.

That was a first hit. Seeing him with Balca was another hit. And this..This will the last. The most painful.

“I can save this”, Eda thought, as she looked at his eyes full of poison.

The only certainty she had in her life was that Serkan loved her.

And now, for the first time, she wasn’t quite sure about that.

And it broke her.


“We need to talk”, Eda said quietly, trying to utter some confidence in her voice.

Serkan sneered, looking at her like she was the worst thing that happened to him.
And maybe she was.

“About?”

His voice remained cold and distant, and Eda’s heart yearned for the days when he looked at her with so much love, when his voice was full of sweetness…

She gulped and closed her eyes for a few seconds, to brave herself..

“About us”, she said, looking at him with hope in her eyes, praying that he will soften a bit.

No such luck.

Almost maniac laughter jumped from his mouth, scaring the living shit out of Eda.

It lasted for at least a minute, and then he sobered up.

“Us? What us? There is no us here, Eda, not anymore.”

Eda’s heart sank. She was losing in this conversation, but she didn’t mind it when she knew she was something more important. She was losing him…

“Serkan”, Eda whispered and took a step towards him, but he took a step back. And another one. And another one.


“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, he asked with animosity clear in his voice.


“What?”, she replied, shocked and nervous.


“I asked what the fuck is wrong with you?”, Serkan repeated himself.

“For weeks, for months, I was begging on my knees for you to forgive my stupid mistake. And I did it happily, because I hoped that you still loved me, so I gave you time. I tried to change myself, to be better for you, but it would never be enough for you?  No matter how much I changed, you would never love me the way I loved you…But I accepted that. I would accept anything from you….And then, day by day, you were coming back to me, and on New Year’s Eve, I was so damn happy. I had everything I wanted in my arms…I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend and start this year with a full heart”, Serkan stopped to breathe, bitterness filling his eyes.

“Then, you started to distance yourself from me, and I continued to ask myself what did I do, what mistake I made this time. I was lonely, hell, I feel it even now, with you by my side. And then, you looked at my eyes and said that you can’t look at me without being reminded about my fault for your parent’s death. That I meant nothing to you. And tomorrow night, you go on a date with another man, and even danced with him, like it was nothing.  And now, after everything you did and said, you want to talk about us? What is wrong with you?”


Eda was quit, tears escaping from her eyes.

No.

“Serkan… I had no.-“ Eda started but he interrupted her.

“You broke my heart time after time after time. You completely destroyed me. And you still look at my eyes, you still fake your tears…”

“Serkan”, Eda pleaded, shaking her head.

How could he believe in that?

“Well, you succeeded in your revenge. My father killed your parents, and you killed me.  Congratulations, Eda Yildiz.”

Eda just stared at him, paled with misery painted on her face.

“I love you so much”, Eda wanted to say, but nothing came out of her mouth.


“I will be out for two hours, and when I came back, I don’t want to see you here”,  Serkan said and walked towards the door, stopping suddenly, like he remembered one more thing to say.

He looked at Eda’s back. “I have read hundreds and hundreds of books, but none of them described the pain you feel when you fell out of love with someone you thought you will spend the rest of your life with.”


With that, Serkan left, leaving deceased Eda behind.. 



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


Serkan sat on the cold bench in a park, looking emptily in front of himself, ignoring Sirius who in one moment, ran from his owner towards another walker.

“Hey”, Serkan heard an amusing yell from a woman, and he turned towards it, only to see Sirius running towards him with…Was that an ice cream in his mouth?


Sirius proudly sat near him and ate it in two seconds.

“Oğul!” he exclaimed, shaking his head disapprovingly. “I didn’t raise you like this!”

“Your dog is not a gentleman”, an amused voice said, and Serkan turned to see a woman near both of them.

She had a short black hair, warm green eyes and a piecing on her nose.
She was stunning.

She raised her eyebrow at his staring, with her colored lips put in a smirk.

He was still staring at her, his eyes going to her casual outfit, and then again at her face.

“But I see his owner is nothing better”, she mocked him and he finally woke up.

An embarrassed blush colored his cheeks and he smiled apologetically.

“I am sorry, we don’t usual behave like this.”

She smiled. “Well, I hope so. Your dog is way too cute to be a thief.”

“My dog? And I am not cute?”, Serkan frowned and faked offense.

“You could be, if you by me my ice cream.”

Serkan smiled, a real and genuine smile, a smile that made him so much younger.

“I am Serkan”, he said and offered her his hand to shake.

“Aysun”, she replied and shook his hand.

Serkan for the first time in months felt in peace.

“As beautiful as moon. Nice to meet you, Aysun.”


☆☆☆☆


Serkan finally came to his apartment, his empty apartment. He sighed in content, when he realized something.

The ring!

His engagement ring…He still wore it…

He slowly walked towards the kitchen, where his trash can stood.

Serkan slowly took of his ring, and looked at Eda’s name on it.

He didn’t hesitate one bit and he threw it in the can, turning around and walking out of kitchen.


He closed his eyes. Serkan could finally breathe.

Author's note:

Pssst, you didn't hear this from me, but this could potentialy have part 2!

Anyways, I am still pissed that Eda didn't apologize to him for it, she actually own quite a few apologized to him during the entire show..

Take care of yourselves♡

With love,

-Nina