I hate you I love you-EdSer oneshots

Something About Her II

☆☆☆☆

“Where the fuck is it?”, Eda screamed as she continued to throw contents from the bathroom drawers on the floor.

It was middle of the night, and Eda, exhausted and half-paranoid from the nightmares, was searching for her sleeping pills.  She was supposed to take only one at the time, and only when she really needed them, but as the years went by, and her nightmares going from bad to worse, Eda started to take them every night (sometimes even during the days), swallowing at least five of them at once.

Eda avoided the verb “addicted” to describe herself, like a plague, but the truth was, if she wanted to sleep, she had to take them. If not, she was only going to twist and turn in her bed, waking up every half hour, drenched from the sweat, tears and overwhelming guilt.


And now she was there, three in the morning, cursing and smashing things on the bathroom floor.

“Useless piece of junk”, Eda muttered as she threw another face cream, joining the other fifteen creams on the floor.

Eda was severely deprived of sleep, so when she completely emptied the drawer and saw her shaking hands, she wasn’t surprised. As a matter of fact, she would even laugh if she wasn’t in such a miserable state.

Eda didn’t dare to look in the mirror, so with a curse, she left the bathroom and went towards the vanity table in her closet room.

“Powder, foundation, powder, powder”, Eda named the stuff before tossing it somewhere behind her, ignoring the sound of breaking glass.

“FUCK!”, Eda screamed and grabbed her hair in frustration, pulling it harshly, causing pain to herself.

Suddenly, a wave of dizziness crushed her heavily, and Eda had to grab the head of the chair to steady herself.

She was swaying on her feet like a drunk, and Eda just prayed to pass out. Everything was better than being awake, everything.

After a while, Eda felt stable enough to look at herself in the mirror. Messed up hair, dark circles under the eyes, tired eyes – if only the world could see the famous actress now, “the beautiful actress who had everything”, as media would say.

A quiver of her lips represented a bitter smile, hating the person in the mirror. Hating the stuff around the mirror, expensive clothes and make up, hating the luxuries apartment, hating all those movies and shows she had made.

“I just want to sleep”, Eda whispered to the ghosts that surrounded her. Ghosts of her dead parents, ghost of her cancer-eaten sister, ghost of who she used to be, and a ghost of who she could have been.

“I just want to sleep”, she repeated, louder, but no one was there to listen.

“I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!!!!”, Eda screamed and picked the last piece on the table and threw it on the mirror, smashing it into thousands of pieces.

Unsatisfied, Eda stared at the remaining pieces, and she could only imagine that her soul looked exactly like that.

Filled with fury, Eda walked out of the closet, not even realizing that she stepped on the glass, and was now bleeding all over her room.

She opened the door only to be immediately stopped. Right in front of her stood shirtless, barefoot, six foot something, bodyguard of hers.

“Are you okay? What happened?”, he asked and looked around her room, immediately noticing the mess.

“Go hide downstairs”, he ordered in his firm, soldier-like voice. He probably thought that someone was there, but whatever was the case, Eda didn’t care. She needed to find those pills.

Eda walked down the stairs, leaving bloody footprints behind, and walked towards the kitchen.

They were nowhere on the counters so Eda started to open the drawers and tossing things around.

“What the fuck are you doing?”, Eda heard him say after she broke the last plate.

At his voice, she stopped and turned to look at the kitchen, or better what was left of her.

Pots, glasses, knifes, cups, plates, were all around the kitchen, and she somehow managed to break a chandelier.

She even managed to take the food out of the fridge, judging by the egg painted windows.

And at the door stood shocked Serkan, who looked at her in disbelief.

“I couldn’t sleep”, she replied with a tone, almost angry at him for interrupting her, making her confused.

“You couldn’t sleep so you decided to demolish the apartment?”, Eda didn’t like the tone of his voice so she raised her head to meet his judging gaze.

Well, Eda thought it was judging, but by her current mental state, everything made her defensive.

“Do you have any problems with that, Serkan Bey? As far as I know, I am paying you to protect me, not to express your damned opinion”, she barked at him, with her hands on her hips.

For the first time, Eda could see something in his eyes. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that he was surprised by her words, but whatever it was, it quickly disappeared, and the sheer indifference appeared on his face.

“My sincere apologies, Eda Hanim. I won’t make the same mistake again”, he said, his words filled with irony and something else… Something that made Eda regret her burst.

The words of apology slipped on her tongue, ready to be let out, but Serkan was faster and left her there, in the middle of chaos, lonely and more tired than ever.

And when he left, sharp pain came from her feet, and Eda looked down to see the bloody mess of them. They were filled with tiny pieces of glass, and the blood made her sick to her stomach.

She hissed in pain, and tried to leave the kitchen, carefully walking around the glass.

Unfortunately to her, she left the kitchen with more glass than when she came, so with great pain, Eda walked towards the stairs, since only two bathrooms were on the second floor.

Only on the first step, Eda moaned in pain, unable to move more. With tears on her cheeks, Eda decided to sit down and remove the glass there, despite the wooden floor.

She grimaced at her foot and touched the least painful piece, mentally preparing herself to pull out.

But before she could do anything, Serkan suddenly appeared next to her, and to Eda’s great surprise, he took her in his arms, stood up, and walked towards the bathroom, carrying her like she weighted nothing.

Eda circled her arms around his neck, and in the moment of weakness, she leaned her head against his shoulder, almost like she was seeking for safeness.

He was warm and strong, so so strong, and Eda closed her eyes, just for a moment and she could feel herself going calmer, turning the stormy sea into a peaceful, calm water.

Without a word, Serkan entered the bathroom in his room and he gently placed her into a tub, joining her right after.

With one hand, he took the shower head and waited for warm water, while with another, Serkan placed her foot on his lap and examined it with frowny expression.

“This is going to hurt”, Serkan said and met her gaze, her gaze that was observing his every move, and in that moment, Eda felt like she didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve his kindness.

Shame ran through her body and Eda couldn’t do nothing more than nod and lower her gaze.

She hissed when she felt warm water cleaning the wound, but she screamed when Serkan took the first piece.

Her eyes were closed but she could still feel the anger radiating from him, so Eda, still feeling shameful, grabbed the ends of the tub and forced herself to shut up.

He was being so gentle that it made Eda cry. She tried to hide the tears, but one bastard managed to escape, and before she could take her hand to remove it, Serkan’s rough hand was already on her cheek, gently erasing it. Eda’s heart trembled from the tenderness, so she opened her eyes to meet his, chocolate brown mending into green-blue ones.

Half an hour later, Serkan removed every single piece from her feet and he washed the blood away. When he was finally finished, he stood up, took her in his arms again and placed her on the counter, with her eyes carefully watching his every move.

He grabbed the first aid kit and took disinfectant and bandage from it. After he kneeled, Serkan grabbed her feet again and sprayed it gently on them, while Eda watched his serious face and ignored the sudden urge to touch his scar on his left cheek.

Watching him bandage her feet, Eda wondered about his scar, but she was too shy to ask him about it. And even if she wasn’t, the way she told him off earlier in the kitchen would stop her curiosity.


When he was finished, he observed his work for a moment before raising his head and meeting her gaze. They silently tried to read each other, wondering what was going on in each other’s minds. But between two of them, invisible walls were well established, and maybe, just maybe, you could see tiniest cracks on these walls.


Silent language between them is what we all search for, it’s behind every song, every movie, every painting and book.


Breaking the intense moment, Serkan took a moment to gather herself, and when he did, he picked her up again and walked towards her room.

Eda didn’t want to go back, didn’t want to sleep, at least not alone, and when he gently placed her on the bed and covered her up with a blanket, every cell of her being screamed at her to tell him to stay.

And she wanted to. Oh she wanted it to bad. It’s such a simple word; stay, stay, stay, and it danced on her tongue while he started to walk away.

“Goodnight”, he said simply and stood there, waiting for her answer.
He didn’t know why he waited, he could have simply walked away, but something inside him didn’t want to leave her alone, and maybe, just maybe, he had waited for her to ask him to stay.

“Stay”, she had said, but her mouth hadn’t moved.

“Stay”, she said again, but nothing came out.

Third time was a charm, but it wasn’t what Eda wanted to say. The words and vowels got mixed up, and Serkan only heard a small ‘goodnight’. With a disappointed, but respectful nod, Serkan turned off the light and left the room, leaving Eda in darkness.


Eda sighed in despair and turned her gaze towards the ceiling.  Another sleepless and lonely night waited for her, and being lonely was the last thing she wanted to be. She couldn’t go to his room, and she had no family or friends.

Eda Yildiz, according to her current thoughts, was a pathetic loser.

“If I am not going to sleep, at least I will be productive”, Eda talked to herself and slowly stood up. She turned the lights on and glanced at the mess she made.

“Pathetic loser indeed”, she whispered.

Eda went slowly down the hall, ignoring the pain, and went to the storage room, and quietly took everything she needed. To not wake Serkan, Eda, with great difficulty, walked on her toes and went back to her room.

After changing herself into something comfortable, she looked at the bloody footprints and sighed heavily. Blood on wooden floors? Ask Google, of course!

Realizing that it was going to be another long night, Eda sighed and went to work, fighting her mind to avoid the painful subjects.


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


It was six am when she was finally finished with cleaning, and as soon as she sat on the couch in the living room, the door of her apartment opened, and in a fury cloud of Chanel suit and Chanel perfume came Semiha Yildrim.

Eda’s head immediately started to hurt, as soon as her eyes saw her, so she closed her eyes in hope to get rid of her sooner.

Semiha came to the living room and threw couple of stacks of paper on the table.

“These are offers for new shows. Pick one and give me a call by this afternoon. I expect you to be wiser after the last time”, Semiha said sarcastically and went to the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

The last time Eda picked a series, it didn’t go well both in country and internationally, and it lasted for only 5 episodes, much to Eda’s great joy and Semiha’s fury.

Eda knew from time to time to purposely pick a project that would most likely fail in Turkiye, and ironically, most of them had a strong female character that was smarter than the main male character.

Anything to piss off her dear granmager.


“Where are all the cups?”, Semiha asked, and Eda just shrugged, too tired to deal with her crap.

Semiha looked at her disapprovingly. Something was going on her and she was determined to find out what was going on. She spent her whole life on making her famous, and she will never allow anyone to ruin that. Not even Eda herself.

“I confirmed your presence at the awards show tomorrow”, Semiha said casually, perfectly knowing her next reaction.

Eda immediately jumped, cursing when the sharp pain interrupted her protests.

“I am not going”, Eda spat through her teeth and limped to the kitchen. She could feel her blood boiling, and her hands twitched in desire to strangle her. The woman who ruined and continued to ruin her life.

“It’s an important event, Eda. You were nominated in all three categories. It would be bad for us if you don’t show up, especially when I already confirmed your attendance. What would people think?”

“I don’t give a fuck what other people think”, Eda yelled, furious at the woman who didn’t care about her other granddaughter.

“Oh sweetie”, Semiha laughed, like a cliché villain in Disney movies.

Semiha approached her slowly and placed a wrinkled hand on her face. “Do you honestly think I give a fuck about what you think?”


Eda just stared at her, too angry to coherent a simple sentence. Semiha’s hand went from her cheek to her hair, and she pulled it harshly, making Eda yelp in pain.

“I have sacrificed way too much for you to throw it all in trash. You keep forgetting about the contract, but I will gladly remind you of it. Remember, just like I put you in the light, I can even more easily throw you in the dark.  If I don’t see your face on that red carpet tomorrow night, I can guarantee that you will join your sister down there. Choose wisely!”, Semiha threatened her with her serpent-like voice.

Holding her hair for few more seconds, Semiha let her go and went back to the living room to pick her purse and jacket.

“Read the scripts”, she said as a goodbye and left the apartment, leaving Eda in the middle of kitchen, exhausted, tired and completely emotionally and mentally drained.

Most of the time, Eda felt like a used doll. Other people did her make up, other people choose her clothes, other people touched her hair and stylized it how they liked it. And as long as Eda stayed fit and beautiful, and brought money, Eda will be useful part of the society.

The only thing Eda could do was to wait for another doll to come, much younger and prettier, and Eda would be freed from the shackles that held her down for decades.

Until then, until the contract ends, Eda’s body will be strung on a wire like a puppet, and high above her, Semiha will control her moves with a greedy smile on her face...


“Push it towards the light”, Eda heard her father’s voice in her head, but sometimes, pushing wasn’t enough. Sometimes, giving up is a better idea, and Eda was afraid that she was getting dangerously close to that point.

Even if she was scared of reaching that point, surprisingly, Eda wasn’t afraid of what comes after that.

It her case, everything was simple.

You give up, you drown.


“Eda hanim?”


Surprised by his voice, Eda woke up from her thoughts and glanced at her bodyguard. Dressed in black shirt and black cargo pants, Serkan contrasted well against the white door.

With his characteristic expressionless face, he quickly glanced her up and down, and Eda once again felt shame. Two days in, and he already saw the worst version of het several times. She was supposed to be a woman that was presented in front of the media and the fans; easy on the eye actress with a perfect life.

The feeling of shame was overwhelming for Eda, so much that she had to lower her gaze to hide the tears, the action making it difficult to breathe.


Eda was on a verge of a panic attack, and she needed to get rid of him. Immediately.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked, he fucking had to ask, and Eda had to turn around before she completely falls apart.

“If I wanted someone to ask me that while being paid by me, I would go to therapist, not to my fucking bodyguard”, Eda replied quietly, but she knew it was loud enough, because after few moments, Eda was alone in the kitchen.

After realizing that, Eda fell on the floor and hugged herself firmly, waiting for the horrors of her mind to go away, far far away….


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


Eda picked up the first script of the table and saw the name of the show.

“Love and Other Lies”

Praying that the name itself was enough for the show to end in five episodes, Eda texted the name to Semiha and placed it carelessly on the table...

How do bad people continue to live without any consequences, while the best people die, way to young, way too innocent?

Eda hated the quote “God chooses the most beautiful flowers.” 

It wasn’t correct at all. If anything, God chooses to poison the flower every single day, until every petal falls apart, taking the essential part of it for Himself, and leaving nothing for humans to admire and love.

For Eda, God was a selfish, jealous creature, and Eda will never forgive Him for taking the fucking bouquet from her.

A new message from her phone woke her up, and she took it to read Semiha’s reply.

“Meeting tomorrow at 8am. Sending you an address. Don’t be late and don’t do anything stupid.”

And “stupid”, for Semiha meant celebrating her sister’s birthday.

Semiha Yildrim was a woman of no morals, no emotions and no empathy, and if she saw something she wanted, nothing could stop her in getting it. But she wasn’t always like this. Back when her grandfather was alive, she didn’t use her tongue very much. She was too busy in being a personal punching bag to do it anyway.

Now, Eda was not only her punching bag, but her only income too. If Eda died, Semiha would only have her life savings, which wasn’t high anyway, since the majority of her earned money went to her.

Eda thought a lot about that what if situations. What if she suddenly disappeared, if she suddenly died, if she suddenly used a knife to cut through her veins.  She even used to press it on her hand, looking at herself through to mirror, waiting for some courage to appear. But every time she did that, a small face of her little sister would appear in front of her, and then she would remember just how much she had wanted to live, how much she fought for her life, and the most horrific of the memories of her, how much at peace was she when she told Eda it was it time to let her go.

But, in another side, she would be free from her grandmother’s claws, and she would watch her suffer somewhere from the sky, in the safe arms of her family.

It was always a dilemma for Eda, after her sister’s death, to do it or not do it, and somewhere in the apartment Eda had hidden a list of reasons to continue to live. It wasn’t a long list, but included puppies and kittens and flowers, so it was enough for her for now.

Thinking about her sister, Eda sighed and went to the kitchen to start with the traditions which she couldn’t do tomorrow. A wave of self-hatred coursed through her, a tiny voice from the deep dark place of her mind telling she that she was being a bad sister.

Eda didn’t need a reminder. She always knew it. But knowing it didn’t make it any less painful.

She opened the fridge but there was absolutely nothing there.  Eda walked up the stairs painfully slowly, and she was pretty sure that her feet were bleeding again.

Ignoring the pain, and gathering the courage, Eda strolled to the Serkan’s room, to tell him about a grocery shopping she planned to take, respecting his strict rules. But before she could knock, Eda heard him talking to someone, and unfortunately for her, curiosity got the better of her.

Leaning her ear on the door, Eda carefully listened to his words.

“...what can I tell you, Engin? If I knew I would become a fucking babysitter to a spoiled, rich, obnoxious princess of Istanbul, I would jump in front of that bomb right there and then…..”

“…..well you know I need money…”

“…what’s with these actresses anyway? She doesn’t even look at me, probably because I am way beneath her class…”

“…what are you saying? I don’t care if she is looking at me, can we please return to the main topic of this conversation…”


Eda’s mind went to the last night, when he treated her so delicately and gently, the way he was carefully looking at her and the way he took care of her. The way he tried to make her smile while talking about stars.

Eda had mistaken herself into thinking that he did that because he wanted to make her laugh, that he wanted to make sure that she was alright.

Eda’s parents died in a car crash when she was six, and she only had fragments of them in her memories. Beside her sister, life wasn’t very kind to her, in a way that when she was ten, Eda already learned the best techniques to hide the bruises and cuts from the curious eyes.  So, after her sister’s death, Eda was deprived of that beautiful side of human beings, of kindness and softness and gentleness, so, when she finally received a small bit, Eda immediately got attached to it, and the cruel realization that someone was kind to her only because he was getting paid for it, broke her heart.

“You considered him bandaging your feet an act of kindness? Isn’t that in his line of work?”, ironic voice in her voice asked her, making her rethink of Serkan’s words.

“Is that really his, or your problem?”, annoying voice continued to mock her.

But the fact that Serkan would jump in front of the bomb if he knew he would be her bodyguard was enough to quit that voice, so Eda turned around and went to her room with a heavy heart.

Eda quietly dressed herself in a basic knee-length cotton dress, took her wallet and sneakers, and after carefully checking the halls, went down the stairs as quickly as she could.

Notification on the phone told her that her taxi arrived, so she left her phone on the counter and left the apartment. With a hope that Serkan forgot about the secret exit, Eda went down the stairs, pain in her feet not allowing her to go faster.

Through the glass door, Eda saw her cab, so she exited the building and ran as fast as she could towards it.

“Aşiyan Cemetery”, Eda said and turned around to see if anyone was following her. The car started to move, and Eda let a sigh of relief. With her head on the window, Eda watched the moving city. The city that gave and took everything from her.

“If I knew I would become…”, his words appeared again in her head, and Eda shook her head to get rid of them, earning herself a weird gaze from the driver.

“Hey, aren’t you that actress from…?”, driver finally got the balls to ask her, after continued glances towards her during the ride.

“Nope”, Eda denied while paying and left the car, fresh October air hitting her face.

The cemetery was closed for another hour, so Eda walked around and looked for one decent-looking bakery. When she found it, Eda entered it and immediately cursed herself for forgetting her cap and sunglasses. The saleswoman had a look of recognition on her face, so Eda prayed that she doesn’t do or ask anything from her. She quickly ordered a blueberry muffin, and while waiting, she got a very familiar feeling of being observed and recorded.

With the corner of her eye, Eda saw a couple of girls sitting in a booth, their phones not-so-subtly pointing at her direction.

Eda will never accept the fact that she will never have a private life. Everyone wanted to know her, everyone demanded personal information from her, everyone believing that they had right to take pictures of her, just because she was famous.

She knew that if she stayed for a minute longer, paparazzi would come, so she paid for the muffin, not waiting for the change and stormed out of the bakery.

She strolled towards the 24/7 market, grabbed the first cap she could find (which may or may not be a pink Hello Kitty bucket hat), small candle and a lighter, and left the market after paying.

Eda pulled her hair in a low ponytail, placed the hat on her head and slowly walked towards the cemetery, cold air making her shiver.

It was easy to notice her sister’s grave, because it was filled with roses of every color, her favorite flowers.

It never stopped hurting, the little dash between the years, the little dash that presented just twelve little years, which were mostly spent in the hospitals.

Eda took the muffin from the bag, placed the candle on it and lightened it.

“Happy birthday, my little rose”, Eda whispered and put the muffin between the roses, right under her name.

Asya Yildiz was only five years old when she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. At that time, Eda was 11 and well established in the industry. After their parent’s death, Semiha Yildrim became their legal guardian, and she was very quick in spending their parent’s savings. In no time, Eda’s pay was their only income, and their only way to pay Asya’s surgeries and chemo’s.

Years went by, Eda was seeing less and less of her sister as she had to work constantly to deal with their overgrowing bills and debts.

Day after she turned 18, Semiha came to her with a contract that by her words would “legally be better for financial side of Asya’s treatment.”

Semiha explained her that she would be now her official manager, and when other producers and directors sees that she was now a big deal, they would propose more offers and more offers meant more money.

Eda at that point was desperate, knowing that Asya was getting worse and worse, so she happily (and naively) signed without even looking at the document, and that was basically the moment she sold her soul to the devil.

Ironically, two months after signing it, her sister died, and now, eight years later, she was bounded by Semiha’s manipulative tricks.

“This year I am a little bit early, I am afraid”, Eda greeted her and sat on the ground next to her grave.

Silence was her answer, her only answer, and Eda let out a sigh, almost disappointed, like she expected her reply.

She will never get used to one-sided conversationa.

“She keeps taking me away from you, and I am way too weak to defy her”, Eda whispered weakly, tears already falling down her face.

“I am sorry for being a bad sister, as usual”, she added, playing with a flower on the ground.

Few minutes of silence later, Eda continued. “It’s been a year already, but as you can probably guess, nothing new happened to me. Well, not exactly nothing”, she said, her mind going towards a certain bodyguard.

“I don’t think he deserves to be talked about, but since there is nothing else to….” Eda noted and started to talk about him.



☆☆☆☆


Eda’s stiff body reminded her to get up, and judging by the sun position, it was late afternoon. Time always flied away when she was with her sister, especially when she was still alive.

She glanced at the birthday muffin, and the sadness crushed against her like a wave would crush against lighthouse.

Tomorrow would have been her 18. birthday…


A weird sound coming somewhere behind her woke her from her thoughts, so Eda instantly turned around and examined the graveyard.

The graveyard, that had panoramic view on Bosporus, was empty except from one tall man in beige coat. He was standing few rows behind her, and just like her, he was talking to the grave.

Turning around, Eda whispered a prayer to her sister, touched gently one of the roses and left her there, a place where she laid for eight years now, a place where she will lay for the rest of Eda’s life.

Just as she was about to leave the graveyard, she heard a man’s voice behind.

“Excuse me!”, Eda turned to see the same man walking towards her with an apologetic smile.

He was a tall man with short black hair and thick moustache, with curious brown eyes and bumpy nose.

“I am sorry for disturbing you, but I have made a stupid mistake”, he said and Eda only then noticed the candle in his hand.

“I came here to visit my sister, but I somehow have forgotten about lighter”, he told her and shook his head in embarrassment. “I have noticed that you have one, so if you could be kind enough to borrow it for a second…”

For some unknown reason, Eda felt uncomfortable under his gaze, but she ignored it after a second, and searched for the lighter in her bag.

“Oh thank you so much, you are a lifesaver”, he said, smiling when she gave him the lighter.

“Just wait for a second”, he added and Eda watched him go to the grave.

He walked with grace, and Eda watched him crouch down to place the lightened candle next to the grave.

After a moment, he was walking back to her, with a somber expression on his face.

“Thank you-“, he stalled, waiting for Eda to say her name.

“Eda”, she replied, hoping the conversation would end soon. She really wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“It was nothing, really”, she added but the man simply shook his head in a disagreement.

“It wasn’t nothing for me, Eda”, he replied and the way he said her name made her feel weird.

“I am Halit, by the way. I would say it was nice to meet you, but I don’t think this is the best place to meet people”, he said with a grin, and Eda fought hard to not roll her eyes.

“You don’t say,you turd”, Eda thought, and just made a small smile in return, avoiding his intense gaze.

Sharp wind ran through her and it made her shiver, which Halit immediately noticed.

“You are shivering! What do you say about a cup of tea, to warm ourselves. I know a place just around the corner”, he said enthusiastically, and Eda immediately tried to find an excuse to reject him.

Halit saw her hesitating, so he placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

“Hey, you can say no if you want it. I just wanted to say thank you for this”, he said and gave her lighter back.

Eda, as usual, felt guilty when she failed to do what people expect her to do, so she unwillingly accepted the offer.

“Nice hat, by the way”, Halit said on their way to the tea house, and Eda just  mumbled something in response.


The tea house was small, quiet, comfortable looking place, so both of them found a table in the back, next to the window.

After ordering, they fell into silence until Halit decided to break it.

“Who have you visited today, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Eda did mind, but at the same time, it felt nice having a company.  Loneliness does get boring, after a while.

“My sister. She died eight years ago. Cancer”, Eda said and answered the questions she knew he would ask in advance.

Halit grimaced and waited for waiter to drop their drinks before answering.

“My sister too. Ten years ago. Brain cancer”, he replied and Eda looked at him.

She couldn’t think of an answer, and the usual “I’m sorry” felt forced, so she hoped that he could see that she understood.  She wished she didn’t, but she did.

“I guess we can apply for the worst club in the world”, Halit added, making Eda frown in confusion.

“The Dead Sister’s club”, Halit said, and Eda didn’t know how to react to that.

Dark humor wasn’t her cup of tea, and apparently his entire company wasn’t her cup of tea.

“I am sorry, I always make terrible jokes while talking about serious things”, Halit smiled embarrassingly.

Eda nodded politely and sipped on her tea every few seconds, while listening to his small talk.

“It’s getting late”, Eda noted after she finished her drink. “I am sorry, I have to go, my cat will worry if I don’t come soon”, Eda lied for some reason, but Halit only nodded in understanding and stood up with her.

“My treat”, he said when he saw her grabbing for her wallet, so Eda shyly smiled and watched him go to the counter.

“Do you want me to drop you home? My car is parked right on that corner”, he said and Eda’s tongue was shaped into saying no, before she realized that she didn’t brought her phone with her.

“I don’t want to bother you anymore, thank you. But if you don’t mind, can I use your phone to call a cab? I forgot mine”, she asked, feeling embarrassed.

“What are you saying, Allah Allah? What kind of gentleman would I be if I allow you to wait here in darkness for God knows how long? Please, it would be my pleasure to take you home”, he said with an overly sweet smile.

“If you allow me?”, Eda thought, but after a little bit of hesitating, she accepted the offer.

The drive back home was mostly quiet, with Halit commenting every once in a while.

As soon as they turned to her street, Eda froze because bunch of black-dressed men stood in front of her building, and her eyes immediately went to a man with biggest scowl. Her eyes immediately went to Serkan Bolat.

Her heartbeats went crazy as Halit parked across the building, and Serkan’s eyes instantly founding hers.

Eda gulped and ignored the feeling that told her that she was in big trouble.

“It was really nice to meet y-“

Eda jumped in the seat, completely forgetting about his existence.

She quickly turned to him and offered him a nervous smile. “You too, Halit Bey. Thank you for driving me home, you didn’t have to”, she said and before he could say anything, Eda left the car.

Eda, in a fake bravado, walked slowly towards her building, feeling his murderous gaze on every part of her body.

Just as she moved past him, Eda dared to look at him.

If the looks could kill….

She is going to survive this night, right?

Eda entered the building and she immediately felt him following her, causing chills on her body.

Eda stood in front of the elevator, and pressed the button to open it. It was coming down from the fifth floor, so she had to wait, and she closed her eyes when she felt him right behind her, his breath and scent raising hair on her neck.

“Dear God, it’s me”, Eda thought, perhaps her last thoughts, as she waited nervously for an elevator…

☆☆☆☆

A/N:  perhaps this will not be a short story lol

also I love these two I can't lie

also I haven't wrote a sad ending in so long, I think I am loosing my touch....

-thank you for your sweet comments, y'all are always the best part of all of this <3