I hate you I love you-EdSer oneshots

Pink Martini

FOR MY POOR HANKER SISTERS

A couple of branches were tickling one of the many windows in their hotel room.

A huge storm, that meteorologists warned about, is finally showing her face; heavy rain cleaning up the streets of London, while the cold wind danced around the streets and played with some plastic bags on the sidewalks.

Even the weather was depressed, but not more than one long-haired woman who was sitting on the edge of their bed, looking at her Instagram.  Looking, particularly at her achieved posts. Two special photos.

Her heart panged. Nothing ever came easily to them, except, ironically, their love. Their love was pure, it came out of nothing, and two years later, it was still there.

Loving him was the easiest thing she ever did. He signed his name on her heart the first time their gazes met, on that first of many zoom meetings, and it was carved deeply in her heart.


Hande used to be scared of it. Of her feelings. Of her love towards her man, the man that was currently sleeping on his back right next to her.

But now, when she looked his freckled face, his lips just a tiny bit apart so his snores could get out, a soft smile appeared on her face.


No one will ever know how much she was crazy about him. And no one will ever ruin that for her. No one.

Not the Turkish media, that were constantly attacking them since the day they started their show.

Not the people in general, that hated her or him for some reason. The same people that proudly yelled that their love was a simple marketing trick. The same people who are now celebrating their “break-up.”


Hande never understood why people hated her. She always tried to do good things, to spread awareness, to feed dozens of homeless animals, her heart breaking every single time she saw them on the streets.
She didn’t know that the same people who constantly harassed her, were the same people who throw their animals out of their homes, the same one that kick them and curse them and scare them until they run under the bush and shiver from pure malice in human’s form.


Every day, they were saying the worst things imaginable, things that made her cry, but things that quickly got forgotten when she founds herself in the arms of her lover.


He made everything better. He always looks at her with a soft shine in his eyes, a physical proof of how much he loved her.
Hande was pretty sure that the same thing could be find in her own eyes.

Hande was still looking at his sleeping state, and every single memory of them, of him, revived inside her head.


The times when he made her laugh so hard, that tears rolled down her cheeks and her belly ached so hard.
The times when he just made her smile, without him even saying anything. Sometimes, she would look at him, and immediately smiled, her body reacting like that to him.

He is her smile. He is her laugh. He is her sunshine.

How can people forget that so easily?

Things came up, things came up that she didn’t like, but had to do. That doesn’t mean that she stopped loving him and vice versa.


Things that Kerem does for her, not just sending flowers to her almost all time. Things she would love to share on her social media, just to laugh in the trolls faces and show their love.
For example, one-time Kerem made her favorite cookies in 3 am, just because she was in a PMS and craved them.
Or the time she made him watch all Harry Potter movies, and he did it without a single complain, because he was just happy to be near her.
Or the time he surprised her and tried to paint her on the canvas.
Some would say it was a drawing mess, but that painting was one of the most sacred possessions she had.
Or the many many photos of her that laid in his Leica camera, waiting to come out the memory.
Or the love he had for her niece, Mavi, that loved her uncle just as much.

God, how much she loved him.

How much she knew he loved her.


Hande sighed and looked down at her phone again. She went to the gallery and watched selfies and pictures of him or her around the London.

Click.

Selfie in the cabin inside London’s Eye, huge smiles on both of their faces while London covered their background.

Click.

Picture of Kerem inside the restaurant, fish and crisps in front of him, while he made a silly face to her.

Click.

Herself in front of red telephone booth, sticking her tongue out.


Click.

Kerem in front of Buckingham palace, with a huge hat on his head that had ‘I love London’ inscription, while he was frowning in her direction.

Click.

Kerem was still in that pose, but now Hande was by his side, laughing at him.

Click.

Kerem and her sharing a kiss, while sitting on a top of London’s bus.


Click.


Mirror selfie in the pub; Kerem wearing all black outfit with a pageboy hat, while she had a red dress on her.

Hande smiled at his hat.

Her peaky boy.

The love of her life.



She locked her phone and left it on the nightstand.

She gently crawled next to her boy and laid down, covering herself.

Hande gently hugged him from behind and softly kissed one of his freckles.

“Things will not always be like this, seviglim. I promise you.”

She kissed him once more and felt him slightly leaning towards her.


They both slept with a tiny smile on her face, while dreaming about the day they could do all the things they did these last few days in Istanbul.


Moon appeared, big and yellow, and sent his lights towards two rings on their fingers, right next to each other.

Author's note;

I can't believe you guys, quitting on them just because they archieved their photos?

Ah ah, hayir, not gonna happen here.

I personally don't believe in love, but I believe in theirs, so no, that won't discourage me at all.

Plus, this may sound a little bit lunatic, but I know they didn't broke up. I know deep in my gut.

My insticts are amazing, and you will see why.

The other day, I just knew, somehow, that my father's drinking buddy will come soon and they would go drinking and other stuff bla bla. I had bet with my mom for it. And guess what? Half of an hour later, I saw his car in front of my house. And they stayed all day and night. And the next day too. I just knew it.

Another example;  when I was fifteen, I had a  boyfriend and was waiting for him for our first date. When I saw him in the distance, a voice inside me immediately told me to break up with him and run from him.
I didn't. Fast forward couple of years, I found a number of girls he cheated on me with, I realized how hard the manipulation was, how many times he lied, and hurted me and everything else.
(Fun fact; his and my father's name are the same, so I guess...Daddy's issues?)

Anyway, not the point, I believe at my visionary talents and you should too ;)
I want to thank the good fairies of twitter, who are positive just like me and spreading good words.

I hope Hande and Kerem are good.

Stay away from depression people, it is a bitch.

♡♡♡♡♡♡