I hate you I love you-EdSer oneshots

Hold On 2

The song is called 'There is a light that nevet goes out' by wonderful The Smiths :)

Warning: Mature content ahead.

*

Morning came and first rays of sunshine woke Serkan from his wistful dreams, where he lived with Eda, comfortably knowing they had time. For everything. For themselves. For their family.

Time that they didn’t have in this shitty world…

His gaze fell on her beautiful face, and he moved closer to her, so he could memorize every single detail on her face.

“So fucking beautiful”, Serkan whispered.

She had a tiny scar on her forehead, and he wondered how she got it. Four tiny freckled Serkan found on her cheeks, and Serkan gently kissed every single one of them.
Her long eyelashes, her perfect nose, her plump limps…
Her lips are heaven for every sinful man, and God only knows how much sins he carried with himself…

Suddenly, one of his favorite songs came to his mind and he softly started to sing, while his fingers caressed her face.

Take me out tonight
Where there’s music and there’s people
And they’re young and alive
Driving in your car
I never, never want to go home
Because I haven’t got one
Anymore

….

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

….


Serkan finished with song and kissed her softly on her forehead.

“You have no idea how much I am going to miss you. Hell, I miss you already...”

She was still sleeping while Serkan was deep in thoughts. He was still healthy enough to make one of her dreams come true. One of their dreams…

He stood up slowly and took his phone with him and walked out of their bedroom, ready to call his assistant.


Eda waited for him to walk outside the bedroom, to let the sob that she barely contained when he was there, singing to her…

Fear crawled all around her as realization hit her.

Serkan is going to break her heart one more time, and this time, Eda will not survive it.



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


Serkan placed final pancake on the table when Eda joined him, her sleepy, puffy face making him smile.

“Good morning, my love.”

Eda hugged him firmly from the behind, enjoying his masculine form, and chuckled softly.
“Do I really smell pancakes or am I still dreaming? What happened to my robot?”

Robot’s batteries are dying, Serkan thought, and immediately shook the dark thoughts out of his head.

“Maybe I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice my health for you…Hmmm? Did you even think about that possibility?”, Serkan teased, which caused a giggle from his lover, his best friend…

“I don’t believe you, but I will you off the hook this time”, Eda replied and kissed his back.

If Eda was surprised that he tried pancakes, imagine her reaction when he ate the whole thing. With chocolate! Chocolate!!

“Is everything okay, Serkan?”

“What do you mean?”, he asked back, not knowing that he had a chocolate moustache above his lip.
Eda was instantly amused, and took her phone from the pocket.

“Smile, baby”, she ordered and he complied, confused at her behavior.

“Is there something on my face?”, he asked after seeing her giggling at the picture.

Eda placed her phone on the table and went to sit on his lap.

“I love your beard, but this moustache looks so good on you”, Eda teased while Serkan blushed embarrassingly.

“No”, Eda stopped his hand that went to remove it, because she wanted to do it herself.

She licked the moustache of him and felt his hands tightening around her waist.

“You are such a tease, Eda Yildiz”, Serkan said and kissed her softly.


Who is gonna kiss you like this when I am gone?

Serkan pulled out of the kiss instantly and Eda could clearly see his mood changing.

“What’s wrong, Serkan?”, she asked and placed her soft hands on his cheeks.


“Nothing, really, I am fine”, Serkan replied and kissed both of her palms. “Pack your things, Eda. I have a surprise for you.”

Immediately changing the topic made Eda irritate, because she knew he was lying to her. But she didn’t have will to argue with him, so she let it go once more.

“Where are we going?”

“House hunting”, Serkan said with a mysterious smile on his face.




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“You know, when you said we were going house hunting, I thought we would stay in Istanbul, or Turkey at least”, Eda said with a dazzled smile, as she walked with Serkan’s arm around her through the streets of Paris.

Serkan smiled against her head. “Are you complaining?”

“God forbid”, Eda grinned and stopped walking to look at him.

“I just can’t believe I can call you mine. My sweet robot is spoiling me way too much.”

The way she was looking at him right now…The way he could clearly see love and devotion in her expressive eyes. He never thought someone would look at him that way. He still didn’t know if he deserved that look…

“As long as you keep looking at me like that, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, nefesim. Ask me for the world, and will give to you”, Serkan said softly and rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.

“You are my world, Serkan. You are my whole world.”

They stayed in their little bubble for a while. Romance is really hitting them in the city of love…

A little too loud growl from Eda’s belly interrupted their moment. Eda flushed embarrassingly while Serkan smiled and placed a hand on her stomach.

“Someone is hungry, huh?”, an amused Serkan asked. “Lucky for you, I know just a place. Let’s go, baby.”


After some delicious street food, they walked back towards their hotel, until they heard an accented “Excuse me” from behind.

They turned around to see a short young man with a curly head and crooked glasses. He was an artist, they noticed, as his hands and clothes were covered in clothes.

“I have noticed you here earlier, and something about you two made me draw this. I want you to take this, and of course, enjoy in our city and country”, the man said and placed the drawing in Serkan’s hand, while he gently took and kissed Eda’s hand.

“Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment nul besoin de paroles”, he said and left, after both of them thanked him in French.

They both looked at the beautiful pencil drawing of them, both of them looking at each other while his hand stayed on her belly. It almost looked like she was pregnant and Serkan was holding their baby. And, of course, Paris blurred in the background.

Eda had a big, hopeful smile on her face, knowing the next time they come here, she will be pregnant.
Serkan, on the other side, had tears in his eyes, seeing the only thing he wanted, and the only thing he will never have on a piece of paper.

Piece of paper. That was the only thing he will get.

Piece of paper…


“What did he say?”, Eda asked him, waking him up from his dreadful thinking.

“Two hearts in love need no words”, he whispered, not daring to meet her gaze.

“Serkan?”

“Hmmm?”

Eda put her hands on his face and forced him to look at her.


“What’s wrong?”

Please tell me, I can’t take it anymore.

Serkan shook his head and smiled. “I don’t know how, but Paris made you even more beautiful. What’s your secret Eda?”

How can I tell you that I am mourning you and our family? Even though I am still here…How can I tell you that I don’t want to die?


Eda looked skeptical at first, but she sighed in defeat and smiled.

“The secret, Serkan Bolat, is that I am a very loved woman”, Eda said while putting her hands around his neck.

“And, now, let me show you how much my man is loved”, she flirted and kissed the smile out of his face.

☆☆☆☆


Immediately after closing the door, Serkan pinned Eda to the door and kissed her passionately, making her moan. His tongue dominated he mouth while his hands roamed all over her body, and ending at the zipper of her dress.

He took it quickly off her and attacked her neck, kissing and biting and sucking, driving Eda crazy.

Serkan stopped to look at her half naked body, almost drooling at the sight.
“Fuck.”

Eda used his moment of distraction to take control.  She pulled the shirt of his body and pushed him towards the bed, prepping his neck and chest with her kisses.

She was glad that she wore red lipstick, because his body is now visibly covered with her love.

“Take of your clothes”, Eda ordered, and that commanding voice did wonders to his rock hard cock.

Her eyes instantly fell on his manhood, and she licked her lips as reflex. She wanted to taste him, to make him lose his control, to hear his desperate moans and groans…Most of all, she wanted to make him mad till the moment he decides it was enough, so he could  grab her hair in one hand, her head in the other and fuck her mouth.

Like the way he did in the hotel room in Sapanca…

But tonight, there was no time for foreplay.

Tonight, she will not worry about him and themselves.

Tonight, she is going to make love to her man.


“Sit”, she said and he obeyed, his eyes clouded with lust.

“Let me help you”, he said when she stood between his legs, and he painfully slowly removed her wet panties from her body.

Serkan knew what her intention were, and he would let her do that, but he was hungry. Her wet pussy was right in front of him, and he had to taste her. Had to. If she wanted to let him know how much she loved him, this was the only way.

A sinful smile crossed his face as he looked up to her angelic face.

“Serkan-“, she said but it was too late. He grabbed her thighs strongly and fell on the bed, dragging her pussy directly to his mouth, and he immediately started to fuck her with his mouth.
Eda let a lustful cry, so loud that probably everyone in the hotel heard her, but she didn’t care.
“I’ll do it later”, was Eda’s last coherent thought before she started to ride his face and let screams of pleasure to oblivion.



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


A large moon covered Paris’s sky and shone above the city. Eda would appreciate the beauty of the scenery, if her wasn’t covered in dread and foreboding.

She was leaning on the door of balcony in her silk back robe, and thinking about the last few hours.

Serkan cried. In her arms.

She sat in his lap and slowly started to ride him, feeling blissfully happy. His hands covered her back as they stared at each other, finding nothing but love (and lust) in their eyes. They were making love in that moment, and right after pleasure became too much for her, Serkan hid his face in her breasts and tried to cover his sobs.

“Serkan?”, Eda said in a sad whisper and stopped moving.
She could feel his tears on her body as his whole body shook from crying.

This was the moment. This was the moment where Eda’s dream of their future came to the end.

How foolish was she to think that they would get their happily ever after?

“I am sorry”, Serkan mumbled against her chest, pain that she heard in his voice breaking her heart.

“I am here, Serkan. Let me hold you.”

Eda laid down on the bed and Serkan followed her, his head in crook of her neck while his hands hugged her tightly.

“No matter what, Serkan, I will always love you. Remember that”, Eda whispered to him softly as he cried harder after hearing these words…



After he finally fell to sleep, Eda slowly stepped away from him and now she was there…

She looked up to the only star she could see and closed her eyes.

“Don’t take him away from me. Not again…Please…”


“Eda?”, Serkan called her in his sleep and Eda watched how he desperately looked for her with his arm.

Somehow, that scene made her let a sorrow sob out of her mouth.

She walked towards the bed and laid down, pressing one of her hands to his face.
“Shhh, I am here.”

His arms immediately reached for her and he smiled softly in his sleep.

She didn’t sleep for the entire night. She wanted to remember the feel of his arms around her.

She stared at him and whisperer something only God could hear.


“I will give up my future children, my diploma, my career, my friends and my aunt, Sirius and flowers and my star, if this man looks me into my eyes and says that he is healthy. Take my life too. Take everything from me. Just not him. Just don’t take Serkan from me. Please…”



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆



Lack of warmth beside himself made Serkan slowly wake up from the deep slumber.
He rubbed his eyes only to remember his breakdown last night and he knew. Nothing will be the same. He can’t pretend anymore.

Serkan raised his head and saw Eda leaning on balcony’s door. Judging by her posture, she knew it too. She knew something is wrong. But, he will not ruin their time in Paris just yet. They need to make few more memories. He would tell her tonight.

He waited for her to acknowledge him, but she just kept staring at the city, and something about that broke is heart.

Don’t give up on me, Eda.

“Eda?”, he called her, without response.

He sighed and left the bed, put on his trousers and went to her, hugging her from behind.

Eda immediately leaned on him and closed her eyes, enjoying in his closeness.

They had a full day in front of them. Let her enjoy just one more day. Eda didn’t want to think about what will tonight bring.

Serkan kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her neck. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She smiled at his confession and opened her eyes to look at the wakening Paris, locked safely in her lover’s arms.


☆☆☆☆☆


They spent the whole day getting lost in the streets, looking at the houses and wondering who lived there, drinking coffee and of course, eating croissants.

Serkan ate it without a problem and Eda watched it with a sad smile.

There is absolutely no way that her sweet healthy robot would eat a full chocolate croissant without a single complain…



Serkan is sick.
Serkan is sick.
Serkan is sick…


“Where are you, God?”, Eda asked as he joked about something, looking like a little kid with his adorable dimples.


Not yet, Eda, don’t cry right here….



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


Serkan Bolat being Serkan Bolat, had to make a grand romantic gesture, so that’s why they were there, eating dinner on top of Eiffel tower, with musicians in the background.
He was wearing his signature all black suit, while Eda matched him with a little black dress. As usual, she took his breath away.

They talked about everything. Every now and then, he would make a silly just to make her laugh. He loved her laugh. Her laugh is his favorite song.

They talked, they laughed, they drank wine, and they were in love.


It would be such a shame if they lost each other…



“Shall we dance, Ms. Yildiz?”, Serkan said with his hand in front of her.


“Of course, Mr.Bolat”, Eda replied and took his hand.


A romantic song and a whole Paris in the background, her hands around his neck, his hands on her waist, and her head on his chest…How does it feel to be both in heaven and hell?


Time has come.

To not let tears ruin her make up, Eda closed her eyes and found the courage to ask him. She dreaded the answer. Her wounded heart was waiting to shoot itself.

“Tell me, Serkan”, Eda whispered. “Tell me everything is fine and you are not sick. Tell me.”

Silence.

Both of their hearts tearing…

Silence.


“Why are you silent, Serkan?”, her breaking voice destroying the small ball of hope he still had.

“Please, say it. Say it for me. Say it for our little girl and every child that we will have. Please, say it…”

It was too much…


“Serkan…”

“I can’t tell you that, Eda. Not without lying.”


And just like that, Eda was destroyed. Serkan was destroyed. Their family was gone…


She stepped away from him and walked towards the edge, and leaned on it.

She screamed. Pain, grief, loss, sorrow, misery, agony, torment…She screamed all of it.
She probably still screamed when Serkan hugged her from behind, and whispering soothing things, but she didn’t hear any of them.



And when she finally stopped, she heard him…


“I am going to fight, Eda.”

“I am going to fight, Eda.”

“I am going to fight….”


“You will never lose me.”



Sad thing was, this time, Eda didn’t believe him…

A/N:

To be honest, from all EdSer versions I wrote, this EdSer deserve happiness the most...

Maybe, just maybe, I should give up on that ending  👀👀

Take care, mwah :**