I hate you I love you-EdSer oneshots

Give me love 2

One of you commented something like: "Please let them live this time", and I think about it every single day, and it always makes me giggle.

P.S. Is it coincidence that I am mentioning it just now and here??? (wink wink)

P.P.S. missed you a lot, thank you for your kind words, iyi ki ♡♡

☆☆☆

One thing corrupted people can’t understand is the fact that money can’t buy you everything.

Sure, they enjoy spending enormous amount of cash, some on drugs, some on hookers, some on alcohol and cars. Sure, they are richer than 90% of Earth’s population, and have lives most of people can only see on TV.

But money isn’t everything. It can’t buy you a normal March temperature, for once.

For twice, some people can’t be bought.

Especially not her, a 58-years-old woman who was currently sweating way too much in her black suit, with her dyed red hair strongly tied in a bun.

She had an ironic smile on her face as she looked through the glass window of her office.

Istanbul is getting bigger and bigger, and with that, her lockers with finished cases were also getting fuller and fuller.

She took a small sip of her expensive whiskey, and closed her grey eyes to enjoy the bitter taste in her mouth.

Seven hundred cases, worst of the worst humans, laid in her office as a reminder of everything she stands for. Most of them were in the prison, with small number of them that choose death instead of justice.

Seven hundred is not a small number, but she somehow feels like she failed. Both the country and the people.

Because, the number of bad people are increasing day by day. And her people are dying. Too much and too fast. Too painful.

Asya Ersoy, better known as The Director, turned her head towards the left wall of her office, where pictures of her people, her fallen people, stared at her, almost accusingly.

She immediately found a familiar pair of green eyes, and she had to close her eyes. All these years, and the guiltiness never faded away. Never…

And now, when she cooked a new plan, a plan that was 100% flawed, a plan that involved a dangerous criminal and her son…


“I am sorry, Esma. But it’s the job…”


It was always the job ….


Asya sat on her leather chair and placed the glass on the table. She took a fat file from the locker and opened it to stare at the picture of the most corrupted man in Turkey.

Demir Yildiz.

A man that haunted her dreams for years. A man that had no morals, no empathy, nothing.

Asya turned to the next page, where details of murder of his wife, Narin Yildiz, laid in a small font, around gruesome pictures of the scene.

She turned next few pages, because the young man on them wasn’t currently their main target. It also had to do with a fact that he was in London, not here.

Finally, Asya saw a photo of a smiling young woman, woman that will probably pay for her father’s sins.

She was innocent, the woman knew that, but how could anyone related to him be innocent?

She took another sip of her drink and stared at her photo, with her name right under it.


Eda Yildiz.





☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆



“Again”, he said panting heavily, and placed himself in a defensive position.

“Are you sure you can handle it?”, Serkan taunted with a smirk. “You look like you could use a break.”

Engin removed the sweat from his forehead with his hand and placed himself back in the position.

“And you look like someone who will get his ass kicked”, he replied, much to Serkan’s amusement.

One minute later, Engin found himself again on the floor, while Serkan’s triumphal head hanged over his.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Engin? You can’t kick this ass. This is Turkey’s ass.”

“So that’s why our country is so shi-“, he stopped himself just because he didn’t want to fly across the room for the hundred time in short time.

Serkan helped him stand up and patted him on the shoulder mockingly.

“One day, brother. With just enough number of squats…”

Before he could reply, their superior, a middle aged bald guy named Emir, showed in front of them.

“Agents. The Director needs you two in her office, right now”, he said and gave them the sign to go, releasing them from their uptight position.

Two friends looked at each other with a ‘what did you do’ face, but nevertheless hurried down the dark hall, Serkan deep in his thoughts, wondering if it was finally time to prove himself, if it is finally time for his first big case.

They stopped at the table of her assistant, and waited for permission to enter the office.
The assistant, a short brunette named Balça, not so subtly checked Serkan out, but unfortunately for her, her attempt to flirt went completely unnoticed.


“You can enter”, she said after a moment, and they left her, with Engin looking at him like he was crazy.

“Dude, she totally checked you out and you didn’t even look at her.”

“I don’t have time for that crap, Engin. You know that. Work will always be in the first place. Always”, Serkan replied like a robot while Engin rolled his eyes.

He couldn’t wait to prove him wrong. To watch him fall in love in front of his eyes. He couldn’t wait.


Serkan knocked on the door and after hearing sharp ‘come in’, they entered into the large office that had, mixed with whiskey, a woodsy scent.

The Director sat in her chair, behind the desk, while in front of it sat two other agents, Selin and Kan.

Serkan immediately turned his attention towards the left wall, where he stared briefly at his mother’s picture.

The only thing he had from her were his eyes. They were the same color. One thing that his father hated the most about him.

His heart panged in a way that only parentless children understood. Sometimes, when he looks at himself in the mirror, he doesn’t see an adult man with a very adult job with a back full of scars.  He sees a little boy that counted days and hours until his mother comes home.

Sometimes, he wanted to hug that little boy. But more often than not, Serkan wanted him gone.


“Agents. Welcome. Release”, she ordered and both of them relaxed their stances, their arms awkwardly falling against their bodies.

“Sit”, she ordered and they quickly obeyed.

Serkan was tense. He waited for this moment his whole life, he trained and fought and risked his life for this opportunity. He could feel the Director’s gaze deep in his bones, and he tried not to smile like a fool.

This was his chance.

He will finally make his mother proud.

He will prove his worth.

He will laugh directly at his father’s face.


“Agents”, Asya said and looked at all of them, but her gaze stopped at Serkan.

“I believe you all are informed about this man”, she said and showed them the photo of Demir Yildiz.

“Drug-dealer.”
“Murderer.”
“Money-laundering.”
“Mob.”


Four answers in the same time, and all of them were true.


Asya nodded. “I have only one wish before my retirement. That wish includes this man in prison suit. And you will help me fulfill my wish .”


Serkan could hear the fastened beats of his hears. His blood was boiling, adrenaline rushing through his body. His first big case is also the biggest case in decades.

This is all he ever wanted.

“How?”, he asked, while others looked at each other in shock.


“This is a specific case, not like others, and we will have to use different approach. I just need to know if you are ready to do everything for this case. And by everything, I mean everything, agent Bolat.”

Asya leaned on her desk to estimate his reactions. She saw pure determination on his face.

“I am”, he replied with confidence. His work is all he has. It’s all he is  It is his everything.

After a moment of silence, Asya smirked slightly and pulled out another file.

She reached for a picture and placed it right in front of him.

“This is Eda Yildiz, Demir’s only daughter”, Asya said as Serkan looked at the photo.

For some weird reason, his brain stopped working when he saw her smiling face. For one second, his lungs stopped its everyday work, and his eyes wandered all around her beautiful face.

“Your task, Agent Bolat, is to do everything you can to make her fall in love with you, so we could get an easy access to Demir and finally put him where he belongs.”

He froze. His gaze was stuck on her. The plan was ridicules. Idiotic. Morally wrong. He hated it.

“Can you do that, agent Bolat?”, her cold voice made him raise his eyes.

“Why me?”

“Because you are one of the most promising agents here. You never mix emotions with work. And to be completely honest, you look like her type.”

Serkan gulped. Him, to be her type? A monster with a fairy? That couldn’t happen even in fairytales, let’s not talk about real life…

“So, I would basically use her, play with her emotions and break her heart just to find a proof against almost untouchable criminal?”

Serkan couldn’t understand why he felt the way he did, he should be celebrating his first serious case, but instead, his words left an acid-like taste in his mouth

Asya blinked. “Yes.”

He stared at her, not knowing what to say anymore.

“I asked you a question. Can you do your job?”

“Yes, Director”, Serkan replied after a moment of silence.


“I am sorry, Eda.”

It was the first time Serkan apologized to her. First, in a long line…



☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆



“Get to know your subject”, was his first task, ordered by his boss.

“The subject” in question was currently standing behind the bars, yelling at the guards, claiming that she was innocent.

“Why am I here? He should be here instead of me!”, Eda yelled and pointed at a guy that was sitting in the waiting room, with a huge bite mark on his hand and messed up hair.

“Enjoy your new home, you crazy bit-“

Just before he could finish his sentence, Serkan passed by him and “accidentally” kicked his leg.

“Watch it, asshole”, the man barked at Serkan, which brought a creepy little smile on his face.

Serkan grabbed him by his collar and made him stand up.

“First of all, you will never speak like that to her or any other woman, if you can get them to even look at you. Second of all, you will drop your lawsuit right fucking now, or I will tell every single guy and girl in the neighborhood that a woman half your size kicked your ass with ease. Third of all, after you do that, you will apologize to the lady, and especially her friend, you ugly piece of shit, or I will remodel your face in way that even a rat on the street wouldn’t look at you. Understood?”, Serkan asked with cold voice, anger rushing through his body.

The dickhead stayed quit eand Serkan had to add more pressure on his collar, making him cough aggressively.

“I- I’ll do it. I don’t want trouble, man. Please…”

Serkan saw fear in his small cowardly eyes and finally smiled, and  pushed him back to the chair.

He looked at the hall where Eda was, and smiled when he still heard her arguing.

How can he do his job, when on his first day, she ended up in jail?!?

And how exactly did she end up there?

He was following her the entire day, and hid in his car that was parked down the street. Eda was eating pumpkin seeds with her friend Melek, just gossiping around, when two men passed by them, and one of them commented something about her friend.

“Domuz!, Serkan heard her before she jumped on his back.

A whole chaos emerged as he watched her kicking his ass with wide-opened mouth.
The neighbors ran to help them, while older women were already gathered to click their tongues and judge the new generations.

Serkat let half-shocked half-amused chuckle as she tried to reach him with her hand.

Who are you, Eda Yildiz?

Then, he remembered who her father was. And there she was, defending her friend with really bad fighting skills.

Maybe, if he changed his plans just a bit?

Maybe he could do his job and also protect her?

Because, in that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to protect Eda Yildiz.

This odd sense of protection confused his poor robot heart…

“Ah, Eda Yildiz. Ah….”, he sighed, as the sound of police siren entered the street.




☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


After one hour, Eda left the police station, under his watchful eyes.

She looked at the phone and frowned, and Serkan noticed a black BMr jeep slowly approaching from her back.

Eda took a step back and fear was clearly showed on her face, which made Serkan rethink his decision to stay hidden.

A man left the car, and he immediately recognized the black haired man that was dressed in expensive black suit.

Demir Yildiz.

He didn’t stay for long. He aggressively took her hand and shoved her into his car like she was a piece of trash. He made quick steps towards his seat and pressed on gas immediately after closing the door.

When Serkan is mad, oh he is mad mad. If he only yells at you, you should consider yourself lucky.

That Serkan is difficult to manage, but he is still manageable.

This Serkan?

This Serkan, from the outside, looked quite normal, just a man sitting in his car, looking in front of himself.

Of course, the outside world couldn’t see that Serkan was literally blinded by anger, his blood already boiled like a chicken soup. They couldn’t even see his right hand that was resting on his gun, ready to shoot.

He was three seconds away from painting the street with his fucking brain.

Is it that hard to be a father? Is it that hard to love your own children?

He griped the steering wheel with all of his strength and closed his eyes to calm himself.

But no matter how many times he breathed deeply, he couldn’t ignore the not so joyful memories, he couldn’t escape the sound of belt going through the air, aiming towards a small boy.


Seconds, minutes, hours, he didn’t know which one of them, passed, and he stared emptily at the police station.

Not even a day passed, and he already felt like he failed.

Why was he surprised by Demir’s behavior towards his daughter? The man that killed his own wife, and his daughter’s mother?

But there was a much bigger question that needed a fast answer.

How will he protect Eda from her own father?

How will he protect Eda from himself?

How?


☆☆☆☆☆☆



The first night of his first case was spent by him sitting in his car down the street from Eda’s house.

Unlike what he expected, her house was small and modest, just like the other houses in the neighborhood.

A perfect cover.

If he actually enjoyed all of his dirty money, he would instantly put a target on himself and waited for someone to take him down.

Every move he makes is perfectly planned.  And if Serkan makes one mistake, he would say goodbye to his career.

But he will not make any mistakes. He is agent first, and everything else on second place.

No matter how much he wanted to protect Eda, his job is his priority.

And his job is to stop one of the biggest criminals in his country.


Midnight came and passed, while Serkan continued to stare at his phone.

He hacked Eda’s phone by some government tools, tools that are, of course, hidden from public eye.

Serkan went already through her contacts and messages.

Not a single text message with her father.

Just a few phone calls that lasted only for few seconds.

Demir probably knew that his phone calls were being tracked, hence the ultra short calls.

Also, there was no photos of him or with her in her gallery.

Her phone was pretty much useless, but he still placed a virus so he could track her calls and location.

After he found nothing about him, he searched her gallery. He stopped at every selfie, and admired her effortless beauty.

Her kind eyes and adorable dimples were probably his favorite parts, Serkan thought and immediately shook his head.

What was he talking about? What favorite parts?

Must be the lack of sleep…(Sure, Serkan, sure it is)

He moved to the next photo and his whole body( for some unknown reason) tensed when he saw her useless boyfriend, Genk, posing next to her, with his skinny arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Women were really generous creatures, when they willingly go out with rats like this one, Serkan thought with irked expression

Then and there, he decided to look at their chat, and smiled lightly at his responses.

Dumb, dull and ugly. The perfect description.

He knew that he, himself, isn’t perfect, but at least he had a nice ass…

Who wouldn’t give him a chance?

In all of his ridicules thoughts, he forgot the most important thing.

How can he make her fall in love with him, when she has this dumbass of a boyfriend?

The more he thought about it, while sitting in the dark in his car, the more he realized that he was quite unprepared for everything that will come.

The next thing on her phone was a video of her dancing in the studio. Her elegant moves and pirouettes impressed our young agent, so much that he repeated the video at least four times.

Serkan already knew that she was a ballet dancer, it was written in the files that he received.

But seeing her like that, with a peaceful expression on her face, her whole body transforming into something that most people called art.

Many faces of Eda Yildiz…


He finally moved from the video, only to be stuck on the next photo.

Eda was standing on the sandy beach, barefoot, in a long, backless white dress, her long hair flying in the breeze.

Dark clouds were above her, ready to release heavy rain.

It almost looked like Eda was stopping the storm…

Her head was turned towards the camera, and of course, had a huge smile on her face.


Something about that photo made Serkan stare at it for a long time. He unconsciously brought a finger to her face and caressed her face, gently, almost like he was touching her for real.

Before he could think twice, Serkan saved that photo to his private gallery and closed hers, looking for something else to do, beside being a complete creep.

But because his job requires, and not because of his own curiosity, Serkan found her Spotify account and opened it.

For research only, of course.

She had a couple of playlists, and he randomly picked one.

He scowled immediately when he only saw Taylor Swift’s songs.

What’s up with her anyway?

He sighed, both relieved and disappointed.

Serkan could never be with someone that has terrible taste in music.

Not that he considers being in a relationship with her whatsoever…

He was just thinking...

Anyways, he picked another playlist, and noticed a lot of different artists, which were pretty much unfamiliar.

He chose one by Arctic Monkeys and closed his eyes.

Serkan frowned when he heard the famous ‘I wanna be your vacuum cleaner”, but continued to listen to it, enjoying the vibe of the song.

“If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours”

“Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Maybe I just wanna be yours
I wanna be yours”


During the song, Serkan let himself wander, and he imagined himself on the beach, with Eda in front of him, posing and smiling for him.

After a whole day of ignoring the ‘agent’ part of himself, Serkan finally heard LOUD sirens that his brain repeatedly spreads to the rest of his body.

“What are you doing?”, he yelled at himself, frustrated and confused.

In the silent darkness, Serkan heard the careful words from his boss.

“In cases like this, where you are completely involved, it is normal to form some kind of emotions. That always happens, because agents or not, we all are still humans. Unfortunately, far greater agents have failed, they have failed by choosing emotions over work. But I see a great potential in you, agent Bolat. After all, you are Academy’s child. Don’t waist it. Just do your job. That’s all you have to do.”


Serkan felt like he failed. Instantly, on his first day. Wonderful. Brilliant. Knife-in-the-gut-fantastic.


The moment of his self-hatred was broken by miss Yildiz herself, who slowly walked down the stairs, dressed in black sweatpants and black sweater, and held something in her hands.

Serkan looked at his watch that showed that it was two in the morning. What the fucking hell was she doing? Does she have a death wish?

Eda turned left from her house, and Serkan waited a few seconds before he jumped out of his car. He followed her from distance, carefully using trees and cars as his cover, and after a minute, they arrived in a poorly lit corner that was filled with garbage and God knows what else.

He saw her crouch and heard her whisper-calling someone. After a few seconds, a skinny dog appeared, black and brown and he waged his tail when he saw his favorite person, the only person who doesn’t kick him or curse or yell at him because he was a ‘scary’ dog.

Serkan let a breath and looked at the woman in front of him, that was currently feeding the stray.

“I am sorry baby; I couldn’t come earlier. You know how he is. Come on, eat”, he heard her say.

After twenty minutes and many cuddles, Eda got up and walked back to her house, leaving our poor agent behind.


The dog noticed his presence, and with heartbreaking hesitation and fear, slowly approached him, hoping for some more cuddles.

Serkan instantly reached down and petted him, for Rottweiler’s great joy.


Lyrics of that song entered his mind once again.


“Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Maybe I just wanna be yours
I wanna be yours”


☆☆☆





P.P.P.S. GOD I LOVE THIS SONG and also this EdSer, it's too bad that-