( Bang Chan + Lee Felix )
❝Nobody can know about this pregnancy.❞
┈┈ mistopher | 2021 ++
To Bang Chan, being in the spotlight was never easy, no matter how glamorous his life looks up on stage. And his already suffocating backstage pressure could on...
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┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 🎤 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
⇒ Levanter Apartments 3:05pm
The atmosphere was dense. The sensations of a heaving chest beneath his head were stiff- too stiff and uncomfortable, and the silence, it was too, too loud. The hand caressing his back so slowly seemed a bit hesitant and, Hyunjin just seemed- he seemed too distant.
Because he could feel it. He could feel the new level of uncertainty in their relationship. It was the exact thing that his best friend warned him about; the interest of the children's father. And as he sat there, he could only sigh continuously as the logical question of, "What if he wants to be in his child's life?" that was grounded into his head as a valuable aspect of Jeongin's advice, could not help but promote itself into stems and leaves of assumptions to be overthought in his already full head...
Because what if wanting to name the baby wasn't just it? What if that apology wasn't... just it? What if Felix's anonymous ex-lover was really willing to be there- willing to come back? Goodness, Hyunjin could hardly bare the lifelikeness of such possibility. He could barely stand the thought of losing the boy and children that he was willing to start a life with, to someone who had left them so heartlessly.
Yet, he knew that he could do nothing about it. And it hurt. It hurt like hell but, he knew that he could not stop Felix from going back to... maybe the man that he truly loved... if he really wanted to. He could not sit and mindlessly- selfishly allow those unborn babies to come into the world into his arms, while their biological father stayed and moped on the sidelines with a heart more than willing to accept and care for them with everything that he had.
So Hyunjin sniffled. His fingers took a slightly firmer grip on the side of Felix's sweater as if scared to lose him and, a tear slid down his temple.
"Niah." He mumbled softly, a small, forced smile creeping up his face and, deep sigh flaring his nostrils. "Pretty name indeed. And I mean I can't complain, at least she'll have two names."
"Mhm." Felix hummed lowly, lips parted to accommodate his heavy breaths and hands fiddling with the hem of the sleeve of Hyunjin's T-shirt. "Both names are pretty. E-especially the one you chose."
"Yep..."
Then another silence, enticing more secret tears out of Hyunjin's eyes and, an increase in the rapid, uneven movements of his chest. But it was too much. Those scattered moments of quietness lasted too long for his sanity so, he couldn't take it. He had to cut it short. He had to say something- anything, whether he thought over the words and their depth or not and, without analyzing the possibilities of such line to cause an even longer silence in the very near future.
