( Bang Chan + Lee Felix )
❝Nobody can know about this pregnancy.❞
┈┈ mistopher | 2021 ++
To Bang Chan, being in the spotlight was never easy, no matter how glamorous his life looks up on stage. And his already suffocating backstage pressure could on...
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┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 🎤 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
⇒ Sunshine Apartments 9:35pm
The sound echoing in the ears of almost all the residents of that complex was too loudand frightening to keep any of them in the confinement of their rented homes. Feet, living father up from natural ground, trampled down stairs and through hallways to head for the various exists, whilst those living on the nearer floors rushed out through the main doors with so much ease. And it was difficult, having to maneuver one's way through that crowd of panicked humans, with a blaring alarm paired with obnoxious wails and chattering, just to make it out of there in one, unburnt piece.
Some were interrupted from sleeping, some cooking or maybe just chilling on their own, and others, maybe just sulking, or crying, or reminiscing on their past and blaming themselves so aimlessly, claiming that they could have done better- that everything was their fault- that they weren't and never would be good enough...
Oddly specific, right? Yeah. Oddly specific and, uncomfortably familiar, especially when such degrading thoughts belonged to one beautiful, warm, blameless souls that deserved nothing but the world.
Hyunjin, he was sitting, somewhat slanted on his sofa, tear-stained cheeks puffed out and, eyes gazing forward blankly at an empty section of his wall. His heart still hurt so, so much, although it had already been a month. And on nights like those, when he was too tired to even take a routined walk to the park, he just could not help but dwell on the boy that he had- that he still somewhat loved so, so much, yet who hurt him so- so effortlessly.
And after days of transporting that same ex to and from work, and still having to absorb the sweet scent of his perfume, and function under the shade of his bubbly aura, a night like that would undoubtedly bombard his full head with all of those self-degrading thoughts.
Because Felix was making it so damn hard to move on- and maybe it wasn't intentional. It was most likely unintentional, but still, that did not mean that the sting of not being loved back didn't hurt- that did not mean that seeing that freckled smile shining so brightly on his ex's face, with the knowledge that hewas not responsible for such immense joy... didn't hurt.
Hearing those giggles being exchanged with their co-workers, and having to force up his own sounds to fit in, hurt. Having to gulp down the question of whether Felix had ever loved him, just to avoid a more surfaced tension between them... hurt. And he- he couldn't help but blame himself, sadly. He couldn't help but inculpate his too curious and willing mindset for allowing his poor heart to break a second time, in a situation so similar, yet quite different from his first.
