An Angel From Hell - Niko Moilanen

Wearing A Blindfold

       
    When the interview was done they all wanted to go for a coffee and made me follow.

Their option was the café that was next to us and let me tell you that you could see nowhere Jake or a woman that is with him because obviously he is with his friends and I was the one to cheat now.

"So where is Jake?" I asked ironically Niko when we sat down

"Don't play with me Taina" he turned to me "I'm absolutely sure that I saw him believe me or not" I was shocked. I was shocked because he kept going.

I was in a call with Jake some minutes ago and he still thinks that he saw him in this café. Why is he so stubborn with something that doesn't have to do with him.

"Yea of course I believe you Niko" I once again said sarcastically and he grabbed my hand to stop me.

I swear if the others notice something

"Listen here... I'm gonna fucking prove it to you and then let's see what you're gonna say for your man" he was the one whispered with the most ironic tone and I didn't want to reply and get it any further

I wonder where he's gonna find those "fake proofs" because there's not a real one

"Are you sure you're fine?" Joel asked me for a millionth time when we went in his car so we could finally go home

I always said everything to Joel. Always.... But now? How I'm supposed to tell him about all this shit that his two best friends that hated eachother created. I really needed someone to talk about it. To get an good advice but I'm gonna feel shame. I'm not proud of what I did or what thoughts I had about Jake after Niko came from the cafeteria.

Joel kept looking at me while I was looking down in my feets for over than 5 minutes.

I need to speak with him, I think Joel could know.

We said it had to be a secret. I promised this to myself but maybe with Joel's help, he would clear my mind, we can make things better so Niko can finally get the fuck out of my mind.

"I kissed Niko..... Twice" I kept looking down when I felt Joel's shocked face turning to look at me

I'm sure that he expected to hear the craziest things but never what I just thrown to him.

"You did what?" Now I turned to look at him and his look maybe me feel even more guilty. It was wrong what we did

"I don't know how it happened it just did...." I kept playing with the keys in my hands since my anxiety was hitting red.

"When?" He asked remaining calm

"In his house when you send me for your keys and today" I felt even worse with myself while I kept saying everything from the start.

I remembered all the details. How the kisses felt but also the lies he made me believe that drove me to keep him close in the second one.

"Today? Before the interview? How!?" He was so confused but also so shocked

"I don't know, I don't fucking know Joel it just happened" I looked out of the window to avoid the eyes contact with the blonde one.

"I'm sure there has to be something atleast behind one of the kisses" Joel said and still I could feel that his tone was calm

How do I say this now? How could I think such a thing about my boyfriend who I've known him for so many years but I believe something that knowns me less than a month but in just so less days he managed to do such damage in my life and my mind.

"He made me believe that he saw Jake cheating on me when later I found out that Jake was somewhere else with his friends" I felt so miserable, so bad with myself... What the hell did i do? What I was thinking when I didn't push him away today? Instead of pulling away I kept this contact. I gave up. My self-control  powers gave me up.

"And you believe Niko instead of trusting your boyfriend. That rough Taina" he's right and I knew it from the first minute but I couldn't control it.

It was like I was walking somewhere, wearing a blindfold and Niko was the one to speak to me to help me avoid falling but in the end he's the one that pushed me making me fall apart.

"I know Joel, I fucking know and I feel so bad about it. I love Jake with my whole heart but" he cut me off by stopping his car in the parking spot but instead of going in our house we preferred to stay in the car.

"But what? Don't tell me that you didn't push Niko away" he knows me too well and he's also in my mind.

How many people can get in there? I think everyone except my self

"The first time I did but today no... Instead I depended it and you know what makes it even worse?" He looked at me like I wouldn't say something serious "I liked both of kisses especially I enjoyed the one that happened today"

Do I even hear myself? What the hell I'm saying is so wrong but it felt so right when I was with Niko. I enjoyed the kisses that came from someone that wasn't my boyfriend.

"I've been thinking about him quite a lot cause it's like he is controlling my mind and I can't do anything to avoid him" I kept staring to Joel waiting for his answer

"You regret the kisses right? Even if you liked them the time it happened" he asked and i just nodded

"You're planning to tell Jake?" I didn't know what the hell to answer here.

If I keep it secret I will feel guilty for the rest of my life but if I tell him then this will be the end of our relationship
For something that I regret it twice. For something that was a huge mistake and people make mistakes but know have to face the following actions.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do... I love Jake but it's not normal to think about an another man when I'm with my boyfriend or like the kisses that are coming from someone else" I really didn't know what to do and I was scared of the future if I admitted everything to Jake but if I never spoke, then I would keep from him that I cheated. He's gonna marry a cheater? I can't do this to him

"Oh Taina first of all you should do what your heart says and secondly it would be better to stay between the three of us for now and I promise to keep you away from Niko, as much as I can. But only if you want to" why couldn't he do this earlier? Oh how many things we could have avoided with this. Unfortunately I wasn't brave enough to ask Joel's help or advice before and preferred to keep everything to myself.

"I want to be away from him, it's gonna help a lot and believe me I regret those kisses I really do" I said and took my seatbelt off

"You're gonna work from home the most or go in the studio when he's not around. Sometimes unfortunately you'll have to meet but I'm sure you're gonna control it" Joel is sure but I'm not and that's what makes me even more nervous.

I turn to give him a hug and he whispered something that I just wished I've never heard.

"You're slowly falling in love without realising it" if he means Niko then I'm gonna stay in that forest that the brunnete has made for me, get lost and let a bear to kill me and destroy me.

I could never be in love with someone like him. But I liked the way that he didn't care that I was taken, he still kissed me... And now I'm here regretting everything of it and making my best friend that did nothing wrong my therapist. 

How can I make you leave my mind?

*Author's note
Okay well not answers yet but we had to get some Joel content.
I need a best friend like him tho
Thank you all for the
reads/votes/comments
Enjoy 🖤