DEMONS YOU MADE

49✓✓

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“Sometimes, in the process of running away from our problems, we end up leaving the ones that made us happy”
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Valerie.

I agree I left out of stupid, unjustified anger but I miss him though. He tried contacting me, sending me messages that I left unread but now I want to talk to him so badly but I don't know how to go about it considering I've not spoken to him for the past two weeks.

Honestly I want to be his girlfriend but I also don't want to give him trouble. I don't feel like I deserve him. I'm just a hot tempered, angry, broken, sad and depressed girl who does nothing other than to cause others pain and cry my heart out.

After I gathered enough courage. I sent him an 'I'm truly sorry note'. He replied saying he was too. The next minute, I'm on my way to his house.

"Hey" He said curtly as he opened the door to his house. I entered into his large sitting room and sat on the couch beside him.

"Listen, I'm very sorry I did what I did. If I could change the past, I won't hesitate changing the way I acted last week" he scoffed.

"Last two weeks, you mean" I looked into his eyes they showed pain.

"I'm sorry I just needed space" he came to sit next to me.

"You always need space but I want to always be in your space. I find your space alluring and beautiful to dwell in." I scoffed this time around.

"But I don't. I find it disgusting and choking and-" I was breaking down. He shushed me and pulled me closer to him, I rested my head on his chest.

Malik.

"Just let me into your space, please?" She nodded frantically. She laid her head on my chest until she fell asleep. I carried her into the room. I sat on the bed working on my laptop before my mind drifted to the future. What would happen to 'us' when I graduate? I had less than two months before my convocation. In the next two weeks, I'd be writing my final exams.

I didn't want to put much thought into it but rather go with the flow, but I couldn't help it.

~~~~~~~
Things were going all good in our relationship until everything went south again. We have been having constant quarrels with her always leaving and coming back days later. She made it feel like my feelings didn't matter and I was just some toy she could run back to whenever she 'felt' she needed me.

But this was the height of it. I tried talking her into seeing the therapist but gave up knowing it was a sour topic that always made her angry. But imagine coming home to see your girlfriend who supposedly promised to stop taking drugs and weed, only for you to get back and see her sniffing some white powdered stuff off the table.

"You promised!" I yelled. I couldn't keep my anger in check.

"I know but I really needed it" she tried explaining as tears fell freely from her face.

"You still fucking promised. Promises are meant to be kept."

"I needed it"

"There's something called 'abstinence'. You're nothing but an addict." I regretted saying the words immediately they left my mouth. Different emotions but similar characteristics flashed through her face. Pain, surprise, shock, sadness.