Breaking Point

Chapter 14

Katherine

I can't go to classes. Fuck I can't even move from where I'm standing in a coffee shop, crying. I notice Ethan standing from the table and I walk outside before he can approach me and ask questions. I don't want to go to the room either, Diana is still there. I take out my headphones and begin to walk around the campus while listening to music.

I don't know what I was thinking while going to that shop. He is studying here just like I am and he does drink a lot of coffee. I wasn't thinking about him being there, that's the problem. I'm so selfish. I never think about others, I only do what I want to do and right now I want to scream to the whole world how stupid I am. I should be begging for his forgiveness and telling him that I love him, but it's probably too late. He hates me now. He couldn't possibly love me anyway. I'm a horrible person. I'm not good for him. He deserves someone much better than me.

A week goes by, a whole fucking week without me seeing him. With each day that I don't see him the ache in my chest grows. I want to scream and let the pain out, but I can't do it. I convinced myself that he will get over me, he probably doesn't love me anyway. He just thinks that he does, but he doesn't know me at all. He doesn't know what a mess I am. He doesn't know my fucked up past. He thinks that I'm a good person and I'm not.

I didn't go to any of my classes and I don't even care actually. I can't see him. I can't handle the pain of him ignoring me again.

By Thursday, I feel like I'm not living at all. Diana cussed me out and tried to get me out of the bed that I've been living in for nearly two weeks, it didn't help. I don't have the energy to walk out of here and face the world. Hayley stopped by a couple of times trying to get me into the mood, it also didn't help. She gave me the assignments and said that she'll talk to her sister and ask about Christopher's schedule, so that I can go to classes. I flipped her off immediately, it's humiliating to think that someone is going to ask these things, knowing that it's for me.

After Diana leaves the room to get some lunch, I finally climb out of the bed and look at myself in the mirror. I haven't really been eating and I can see that I've lost weight. At least I don't have dark circles or bags under my eyes because I have been sleeping mostly.

Get it together Katherine! You're Katherine Black for fucks sake.

I grab a sexy black dress from the wardrobe, as well as a pair of black heels and walk out of the room to take a shower. When I get back I immediately do my hair and makeup. I grab my purse with my phone and car keys and leave the fucking dorms for the first time in two weeks. Thank god, no one sees me and I don't see anyone who I know on the way to my car. I get inside and drive away from campus. If I feel like hell, I might as well drink my misery and try to have some fun.