Keeping Him (Learning To Love Him book 2) (Boyxboy)

Chapter 34

*****

*Jayden*

I watched as Marcus fell onto the floor unconscious and Bianca ran over to him, her face wet with concerned, terrified tears. My gaze slowly drifted from the pair to run up to Carrie, the pounding of my own heart made it impossible for me to listen to hers and I couldn't tell if she was dead, but she had to be. There was blood leaking from her heart, staining her shirt and her head was hanging. I watched as a drop of blood soaked through the bottom of her shirt and dripped to the floor.

Hearing a sob from my left caused my head to snap towards Sean in shock. I had never seen him cry before. Trent and Zeke had the same reactions, just quieter. They were rapidly trying to cover their tears whereas Sean didn't make a move to stop or hide his tears. Or he couldn't. It seemed like his arms were limp at his sides.

It didn't work...

I swallowed hard. I had been right about what it failing would feel like. It was like I was back in that field at Corey's side again right after he got stabbed, it was like feeling and noticing the emptiness for the first time again.

I watched Katie pull Sean into a hug.

"I'm s-so sorry..." He whispered through his jerking sobs, the apology was aimed at Bianca.

"D-don't be... He-he's not dead..." Her reply was broken by more sobbing, "But it didn't work... I don't understand..." Bianca whispered staring at Marcus's battered face as her fingers brushed his jaw gently.

I looked down letting out a breath I didn't know had been stuck in my lungs. Despite how everything felt, I couldn't cry anymore. I felt void... empty... disappointed... and I couldn't react to anything. It did not even feel like being awake.

They tried... but he was gone... he's gone. I inhaled sharply realising that my breathing had stopped again. It was something I had to actively remember to keep doing for the moment. It was alright. The twins didn't know about it, which was all that mattered... They wouldn't feel it all again, they would not be disappointed or broken. I shut my eyes wondering why no real reaction was coming from me, it hurt terribly but I couldn't show that. It was like I wanted to cry, scream... I wanted to yell at Sean for telling me about this stupid plan in the first place... but I couldn't.

I couldn't do anything and because of that, it seemed like the right time to let go. There was nothing more we could do. I felt my eyes begin to sting as I focused on that undoubtable fact. He was gone. Letting it hurt more and completely was the only way it would feel slightly better later on... hopefully.

I began to close my eyes hoping to let the mark on my neck disappear but tensed as an arm dropped over my shoulder before it slid across my chest and the person pulled me against their chest. The movement immediately sparked familiar butterfly craziness in my stomach as sensations ran through my skin from where his was touching mine, it was accompanied by a sudden pulsing in my chest as my wolf stirred with a ridiculous amount of excitement that left me lightheaded. Blinking, I stared ahead shocked as I felt an intense, binding pull towards the person behind me.

No way...

"Babe," Corey's voice sounded casual as he nudged the side of my face with his leaving me completely stunned at the feeling of his warm cheek against mine, "This is by far the most depressing room I've ever been in..." I looked down as Sean's cries instantly stopped and the room went silent. Hesitantly lifting my hand, I slowly moved it towards the arm around my neck and brushed my fingers against the skin trying to figure out if it was real. It felt that way, his skin was warm, the hair on his arms a little dishevelled. "Geez, Sean, I didn't know you loved me that much, I would have mated with you if you told me sooner... But I would have left you for Trent or Zeke, Trent and Zeke? And then of course left them for Jay." A strained chuckle released from my throat as Sean moved over to us just to punch Corey in his side. Trent chuckled doing the same to his other side and they began to laugh like nothing had happened. "Hey –" Corey turned me to face him before he wiped some tears away from my face. I hadn't even realised I was crying. He smiled. "I'm right here, what you crying about?" he asked.