healing

memories

TW: Over exercising, food restriction, fainting, smut kind of.

I remained on the couch for a while. Maybe four hours. I knew I was released from Fiona's magic but I just wished I could close my eyes and pass away peacefully. And knowing that whole meal took me about a step away from death made me feel even worse.

That's when the guilt settles in. Knowing that I'm hurting everyone around me by hurting myself even more. Like fire fighting fire. It was just an endless cycle. I finally set my feet on the carpet beneath me and stood up. The old grandfather clock against the wall suddenly sounded as the time struck midnight.

I slowly walked to the large angel wings staircase and made my way to my bedroom. Before I did so, I hear a faint noise coming from Cordelia's room. I pressed my ear against the door and listen to the hushed words of Myrtle and Cordelia.

"I don't know what to do auntie Myrtle. I love her so much," Cordelia sobbed out.

"I know my darling. I know you do. It's alright. You can't let Fiona dictate your life but... I do fear y/n's line is sort of at an end my dear."

"W-what do you mean? Myrtle you know I love your metaphors but... I don't know what you're talking about."

"What Fiona did was cruel. The woman could probably slit one of the girl's throats and sleep like a baby. The poor girl is already dying. I don't think Fiona can stand to see her hitting rock bottom anymore."

"I don't understand. I just want to help her but- I don't know how."

"Oh my darling Cordelia. You are nothing like your mother. You know why? ...Because you believe you can help everyone, and never take a moment to think for yourself whilst that's all Fiona does. Thinks about herself."

"I know. I just don't want y/n to die," Cordelia's voice broke by the end of her sentence and started sobbing once again. I stepped away from the door and slowly tread back to my bedroom. I open the door to see Madison and Zoe talking until they grow silent and their gaze meets mine. I avoid any eye contact with the two girls and go to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and stepped in, only to sit down and let the cold water fall over me like a summer rain. I held my knees to my chest and sat there for a while. I soon started doing sit ups which hurt my bruised back like hell. I started to cry as I just continued my ritual, despite the horrible pain that coursed through my bare back over the hard ground.

I let out a few pained cries, trying to burn off all that food. I was getting so frustrated knowing I couldn't burn off about 2000 calories in one night by just doing sit ups but I couldn't stop.

I just kept going. laying down and sitting back up. laying down and sitting back up, over and over until I laid down and didn't sit back up.

I let my eyes close as the water fell on my body, going down the drain.

***

FOUR YEARS AGO:

"Hi y/n welcome to Miss Robichaux's Academy. I'm Cordelia Goode," Cordelia said with a warm smile. I shyly followed her as she gave a tour of the house, watching her in awe. Her perfect blonde hair and soft features. Her face was so beautiful that even a 14 year old could recognize and admire it.

ONE MONTH LATER

"CORDELIA!!" Zoe screamed after finding me passed out in the bathroom after being at the academy for a month. Cordelia rushes to the door and drops to her knees beside me, shakily brushing her hair behind her ears.

"y/n? y/n wake up," she whispered quickly, lightly hitting my pale cheek. She tries to lift my head only to see a small pool of blood dripping from my scalp. "Shit! Zoe get me that towel and fold it," she panted, pointing to a towel hanging on the bathroom door as she kept my head propped up in her lap. Zoe did just that and Cordelia places it under my head until Fiona comes rushing in.