healing

a crossed line

TW: Mention of self harm/ suicide attempt

"W-what?" Cordelia trembled after a moment.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you like this Delia trust me I just want to get better so I can come home but I can't live like this anymore."

"....Well... I'm sure whoever you're currently head over heels for will keep you plenty of company. I'm proud of you baby but... I have go. Goodbye y/n."

"Delia please I-"

Although the line quickly went dead, I kept the phone to my ear, soon dropping it beside me. I stared forward and my lips trembled and face tightened before I put my shaking hands over it.

That was my final straw. It was all over for me. No way she was going to keep paying for me to be here. Soon enough, I'm sure Dr. Staple will be telling me to pack my bags. Alice walks back into the room once she realizes I was no longer talking to Cordelia.

"y/n? Are you alright?"

"It's my fault," I whispered.

"y/n, what happened?"

"Get out. Please please just get out," I said with sharp breaths.

"Honey it's okay you-"

Before she could argue I threw a pillow at her, making her look shocked as I continued throwing random things at her like other pillows, books, Nina.

"y/n stop!"

"GET OUT!!!" I screamed. She quickly left and shut the door as I just completely sobbed, giving into my emotions that so needed to be let out. I shoved my face in my pillow, continuously gasping for air.

***

Dinner time came around and I had passed out from crying so hard. Opening my eyes, I felt disappointed, somehow thinking there was a possibility that I would die in my sleep. I look at the clock seeing it was 6:30. I couldn't move. All I could think of was Cordelia's broken voice. She doesn't love me anymore. I have nothing to achieve anymore. I can't go on. I'd rather just die right here in this bed than have to-

"y/n, it's dinner time."

I just stay silent until she opens the door. I was facing the wall and Dr. Staple walks to me.

"Heard you had a little outburst with Alice. You wanna tell me what that was about?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"y/n."

The only thing that was willing to come out of me were more tears. She finally left and arrived back with Nurse Aird. I knew exactly what they were doing. Dr. Staple pulled my tube to her and slowly injected it with the liquid.

"No. Please," I whimpered, still facing away from them.

"y/n, if you're not going to eat dinner, we have to give it to you that's just how it works. Would you like to talk to anyone right now?"

"No."

"Fair enough," Ellie sighed. Her and Nurse Aird left the room as I held my bunny to my chest and stared at the wall in front of me. As Dr. Staple goes to close the door, she paused. "Oh and... you'll have to open up about Diane sooner or later y/n."

She finally closed the door and I hear her shiny blue heels clack down the hallway.

Once again, my door opens and someone steps inside. I start to sweat and shake at the thought that it might be Diane but I soon hear a more familiar, comfortable voice. Or at least one that's usually comfortable.