Wanting Approval

Chapter Thirteen

Not even ten minutes after arriving home Lewis received a text from Blake asking if he got home alright and telling him that he had a lot of fun while hanging out. Suggesting they do it again sometime soon. Lewis would like to think this was genuine but something inside his brain is telling him it's just Blake being polite. He can't possibly still want to talk to Lewis after they just spent that much time together.

But when Lewis replied saying he was home safe and sound, and that he also had a great time hanging out and would love to do it again he got a text back almost immediately that was just the winky face made of a semicolon and a bracket and a thumbs up.

Blake was anxiously waiting for Lewis to reply that he got home because maybe he should have been the one to walk him home. It would have given him some peace of mind but Lewis seemed to be done with them spending time together. He was just glad he had gotten the amount of time he did, they had spent the night and most of the day together. What more could he really ask for. On top of all that he got to hold hands with Lewis! All day he couldn't stop smiling. His mom asked what he was so happy about, so he told her all about Lewis. He told her about his soft skin and bright eyes and beautiful smile and his stutter and his nervousness and his funny personality. His mom agreed that this sounded like the perfect boy so Blake couldn't be happier about anything.

The two boys texted back and forth on and off all day until it was time to go to bed much too late for Blake since he had an opening shift at the movie theater the next morning. None of this mattered to Blake because in his opinion ruining his sleep schedule for Lewis was worth it. 

Since the next day is Sunday they don't get to talk much over text because they both have to finish homework and Blake has to work in the morning too. But he still makes sure to keep Lewis updated on his funny but annoying customers. Like the toddler who poured their entire drink on the counter and cried afterwards so Blake had to get them a new one and clean the counter. Or the couple making out in the theater after the movie had already finished.

On Monday they walked to school together. They were talking all the way there quite smoothly at that. But they have just turned the final corner to get to the school and Lewis has almost immediately retreated into himself. He isn't making any jesters and is basically only giving one word answers. Blake notices but says nothing about this and he is just trying to fill the silence so Lewis doesn't feel bad. He can't even begin to imagine what the reasons are that make Lewis hate crowds or be nervous at school but it's not his job to judge. However, he has made it his job to make Lewis as comfortable as possible so if that means him ranting about something stupid while they are walking down the hallway then that's perfectly fine. Soon enough they were approaching their friend group.

"Oh my god, Lewis, your shirt is pretty cool. It's ugly in the weird trendy way" Madeleine says in an overly high pitched voice that didn't sound genuine at all. She laughed and so did the girl standing next to her. 

Blake saw the effects this comment had on Lewis though. He visibly flinched and scrunched his shoulders further. Almost like he was trying to make himself smaller to hide from peoples views. He noticed again that Lewis's eyes were not focused on anything and they were a little watery. How had no one else noticed how rude that was? He was obviously not the person to joke around about their appearance. He is just in shock that Lewis is still friends with these people that don't seem to notice him half the time.

Lewis just felt numb again, he was having a really good weekend because he and Blake had been talking the entire time about nothing important and it was a beautiful distraction from his normal thoughts. This wasn't what he was expecting to start his morning with but it shouldn't be a surprise anymore. He knows he doesn't have the body for the clothes he has but his mom likes to dress her children in only name brand things. Lewis just wishes they would fit him the way they fit other people.

Lewis couldn't do the cafeteria today. It was all simply getting to be too much for him today. All the noise was too loud and everyone seemed to be getting too close to him. So he went to the only place that was bound to have nonone in it during lunch. Once he found a quiet darker corner in the library he began reading a book he brought with him to try and distract himself. This was where he felt the most calm during days like this, it was nice to push his back against the wall and curl his legs underneath while he got lost in a good book for the 45 mins of lunch. Plus there was no way his other friends would come and find him in here so he was guaranteed some alone time. Callie and Dylan have tried to spend time with him here but he knows it can get boring just sitting in silence so he doesn't blame them for not coming with him and more. However, this isn't the reason that they stopped coming, it's because they think he would much rather spend that time alone. They think it was worse to be imposing on his silence by talking while he was reading.

Blake finds their table in the cafeteria but notices that Lewis isn't there, so he asks Callie if she's seen him. He figures that he should check on Lewis since it was obvious he wasn't having a good morning.

"Um ... I think he might be in the library, he goes there on bad days" Callie says with a twinge of sympathy in her smile because she still doesn't want to give any of his secrets away. 

"Okay, I'm going to go find him" Blake says, standing up and leaving before she has any time to warn him about how Lewis might not want company right now.

Blake finds Lewis in the far corner of the library that has a light burnt out making it darker. He stands at the end of the aisle and watches Lewis read. He has his legs tucked up and crossed and a book in his lap that he was telling Blake about over the weekend. He has a soft crinkle between his brows and looks a little worried yet also at peace. Lewis has his head leaned forward and headphones in his ears so he doesn't notice Blake standing there until he slowly approaches him with his own book in hand. Lewis's head snaps up once he finally hears another person joining him in his safe corner. He is ready to jump up and run as soon as this intruder gets too close but then he sees it's Blake. Weirdly enough he doesn't think Blake is an intruder for coming into his space. Blake just gives him a small reassuring smile with his dimples popping and takes a seat at a safe distance down the wall from Lewis. If he reached out he could easily touch Lewis, but instead of feeling like he was being closed in he feels comforted that Blake came to find him.

Lewis sees the book in Blakes hand and watches the other boy carefully flip through it until he finds his page and starts reading it. He couldn't be more grateful for Blake at this moment, he doesn't try to talk or make Lewis talk, he doesn't even try to get close to Lewis. The two spend the rest of lunch in absolute silence together just reading and Lewis still listening to the low music in his headphones. His thoughts are a little less loud when he has music, a good book and Blake here to make him ever so distracted.