Wanting Approval

Chapter Twenty Four

It takes a couple more minutes for Lewis's mom to show up beside the boys and as soon as she sees Lewis's state she says they will take a trip to the emergency room right away but that an ambulance won't be necessary since they are so close. Blake helps get Lewis in the car then hops in the back with him to keep an eye on him till they arrive. Lewis's mom drives as fast as she can to the hospital.

    Getting Lewis admitted was a speedy process because of his chest pains, he was considered a priority case. His mom was back with him in the examining room but Blake wasn't allowed in for now since he is not family so he is impatiently sitting in the waiting room. Blake has been frantically texting Callie and Dylan for about thirty minutes, the two were trying to calm him down while also trying to stay calm themselves. Callie had been through a messy health complication with her grandma just last year so she was not handling the uncertainty of her best friend's condition very well. Dylan and Blake were a little stronger but still just as worried.

Back in the examining room the doctors had been monitoring Lewis's heart and blood pressure, since it was elevated and he had a racing heart rate. They had also noted how underweight Lewis was to his mom, she said she hadn't noticed until they took his top off. Lewis had been hiding his weight loss under increasingly baggy clothing. She was now worried this was something that could affect his health but the doctors assured her that they hadn't determined anything yet. Lewis's mom was sitting by the head of the bed holding her son's hand while he tried his best to breath and stay calm even while they did all these tests.

    Lewis was laying in the bed with a whole bunch of wires attached to his chest, a nasogastric tube and an IV for hydration. He was hyper-aware of everyone in the room since they had removed his shirt and discretely mentioned his weight. Lewis knew that maybe he was super healthy looking but he couldn't stop anymore. It had gone from a summer diet to help lose a little bit of chub to a full blown eating disorder. Unfortunately, even though he was conscious of his problem, he also couldn't stop or let go of that control he finally had over his own life. In this hospital bed all he wants is a hug from someone who loves him, like his mom or maybe Blake. Lewis can only hope that Blake is okay, he knows that Blake was very worried out on the field and that he was in the car reassuring Lewis that he was going to be okay, but somewhere along the way to this room Blake had disappeared.

"Mom... W-w-where's B-Blake?" Lewis finally asks, turning his head towards where his mom was sitting beside his bed. Lewis really doesn't want Blake to see him like this but he also can't stop his own brain from jumping to the worst conclusions. What if he scared Blake off after this? What if Blake is somewhere else and unaware of what's going on?

"He's out in the waiting room sweets, he can't be in here just yet but soon, okay?" Lewis's mom says, trying to communicate that now is not the time to be wondering about his boyfriend.

After that Lewis just sighs and waits for the doctors to be done. His dad and siblings join them about ten minutes after that.

Eventually the doctor comes in and pulls Lewis's parents out into the hall to talk about his condition. Lewis doesn't take it as a good sign that he isn't supposed to hear the initial talk. He just tries to make pleasant conversation with his sister while his brother watches a random cartoon that's on the TV. Lewis can sense the panic that he has caused his little sister, he can see it in her eyes, she just keeps staring at all the wires attached to him. Meanwhile, Blake could see Lewis's parents speaking to the doctor outside of Lewis's room, he couldn't hear them but he was trying to gauge their reactions through facial expressions.

"Lewis is malnourished and underweight. Today at his soccer practice he pushed his body too far and was experiencing some severe heart palpitations. His body the way it is can not support him. Have been noticing any changes in his behaviour, like mood, eating habits, or energy levels" the doctor says to Lewis's parents out in the hall.

"His anxiety has been getting to him a bit more lately I guess, I thought it was just about school though" Lewis's dad mentions.

"On Sunday he didn't eat much because he was stressed about a test but I thought he was having breakfast before school, and he is in charge of his own lunch" Lewis's mom says, her tone has a slight hint of guilt for not noticing her son's problem.

"Okay, so it sounds like Lewis should be consulted for some anxiety medications and possibly some therapy for his eating disorder. I am going to send down someone from psychiatry to do an eval on him" the doctor says while turning back to enter Lewis's room again.

Blake, who was sitting there on the edge of his seat, reports back to Callie and Dylan that he couldn't tell what the doctor had said but that his parents looked a little confused but not overly sad. He also noted that they lingered in the hallway after the doctor went back inside to discuss something else.

"Hello Lewis, how are you feeling? Any more chest pain?" the doctor asks upon entering the room again.

"N-n-no, s'b-bet-t-ter" Lewis says, fiddling with the edge of the thin blanket he was given after complaining it was cold without his sweater on anymore.

"Okay good. I am going to send someone in to talk to you about your feelings towards anxiety and food, alright? Won't be anything big, just some discussion and some questions" the doctor tells Lewis calmly. From experience he knows that this knowledge is not going to make Lewis any calmer but it is better than surprising people. As predicted Lewis immediately begins chewing on his bottom lip and his heart rate monitor starts beeping faster.

After that Lewis doesn't want to answer with words anymore so he just sighs and nods his head in understanding.

The specialist comes to see him after another ten minutes and they have a nice conversation about how he is fitting in at school. Lewis tells him about Callie, Dylan and his other friends then about how Blake treats him. Slowly the conversation is brought to his eating habits. Lewis knows that he could lie about them but he is tired of feeling like he doesn't deserve food or that he can't eat because being too anxious. So, he is honest with the doctor. They talk about how Lewis thinks it started and when he supposes it changed to a problem, they also talk about what he thinks some factors are that are triggering to him. Lewis mentions that when he has some stressful event coming up, like the test, or if someone makes a comment about him, how he just can't help but think about it for a long time after.

After a while they come to the decision that Lewis would most likely benefit from an anxiety medication and some cognitive behavioural therapy. The doctor has this same discussion with Lewis's parents so they can start to get that organized. Lewis asks if Blake is still waiting and if he can be allowed in. He won't tell Blake just yet about what the real problem is, he just wants to see him to reassure himself that Blake is alright. Lewis could also really use a good boyfriend hug.