Honeymoon Rivals

24| Nightmare

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Nightmare

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Chapter 24: Nightmare (Josh's POV)

I suppressed another groan as Poppy stopped walking abruptly again. We were only a few feet away from our hotel, for God's sake. Turning back around, I caught her as she lost her balance again and took in a breath, waiting for her to come back to her senses yet again. 

She stared at me and then groaned. "Why is it taking so long?" 

"We're almost there, come on," I chuckled. 

She grabbed fistfuls of my shirt, pulling me into her. "Carry me," she demanded. 

I paused, staring down at her, and lifted my brows. "Carry you? Really?" 

She nodded eagerly. "My legs hurt and my head hurts so bad, I'm dizzy," she complained. "Carry me." She stuck her arms out, resting them on my shoulders. 

Fuck, she's going to be the death of me. 

I held onto her arms loosely and spun around, turning my back to her. "Hop on then." I bent at my knees, catching her as she pulled herself up, letting out a satisfied hum as she rested her chin on my shoulder. I picked up the pace, hoping to get to the hotel as fast as possible so I could tuck her in and get away from her. 

I liked her, helplessly so, but that doesn't mean we were a good idea. Our jobs would be in jeopardy and the problem is, we have nothing else to turn to. Our jobs are all we have, there's nothing I would have left if I lost this job and it's the same with Poppy. We didn't have backups, this is all we've got. And it goes beyond that. 

The thought of hurting her one day and breaking her heart, or her breaking mine, scared me. I didn't have any faith in love, not one little ounce of it because not once in my life have I seen any two people so genuinely love that it doesn't ruin them both. Nobody. Not my parents, not anyone else around me growing up, not even Jenny. She and Colton argued all the time before Blake was born and while they don't argue as much now, they still argue sometimes. 

I mean, how does anyone know that one argument won't be the last one because it'll bring your entire relationship crashing down? Getting romantically and emotionally involved with someone, giving my heart to someone is something I've never done, never even imagined it, and nor have I ever wanted it. It's not a risk I'm willing to take. Physical and emotional attachment are drastically different and the first one I can afford but the second one I escape. 

As we stepped into the elevator, I gently set her onto her own feet and held onto her to steady her. She leaned against my arm, closing her eyes and sighing softly. I glanced down at her, my heart skipping a beat as my gaze dropped to her lips. 

I wanted to kiss her so badly. I wanted her. I told myself repeatedly that I shouldn't, I couldn't, that I didn't. But I did. 

I do want her. I want her so much, it scares me. 

The way she rested her head on my shoulder, I was barely breathing because I didn't want to disrupt her comfort by moving too much. I was supposed to hate her. I did. I groaned softly, facing ahead while clenching my jaw.