Honeymoon Rivals

25| Mistake

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Mistake

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Chapter 25: Mistake (Poppy's POV)

It had been maybe fifteen minutes since I woke up crying from the nightmare and latched onto Josh for dear life but now, even though I've calmed down, I didn't know how to unlatch myself. I was scared of him asking all the wrong questions but I was also terrified of him pulling away and saying he should leave and go to his own room. I didn't want him to leave but I also didn't want him to ask me anything. 

I don't talk about Mom a lot, especially about what happened, solely because it brings up too many dark and painful memories, memories that I spent years struggling to move past. It was too hard so the best I could do was put all of Mom's memories in a box in my mind and lock it up. Of course, I still thought about her sometimes, about the happy moments I've shared with her, but what happened that night is something I never want to recount. 

Josh's hold on me loosened up a bit and I sealed my eyes shut tightly, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt where my hands met behind his back. I was just waiting for him to say something. 

He hesitated and waited for a few seconds before removing his hand from my head. "Poppy," he whispered. 

I opened my eyes and forced my fingers to relax, letting go of his shirt before releasing a shaky breath. 

"Poppy," he repeated. 

Pulling away from him, I clenched and unclenched my jaw, staring at where our knees met. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, I was so blatantly embarrassed. I couldn't believe that just because I had a nightmare, I clung to him like that. I cried into his chest, I rumpled up his shirt, I... God! 

We both remained quiet for a moment until I started picking at my nails, scooting away from him. "Sorry," I breathed out. I groaned softly, running a hand through my hair, trying not to pull at it. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Josh, I'm really sorry. If that made you uncomfortable or if... God, I'm so sorry." Forcing myself to look at him, I wanted to turn away the minute I did. 

He watched me silently, his brows rising. "If that made me... uncomfortable? Really?" 

It totally did. 

"Fuck," I sighed, "I'm really sorry, Josh. Seriously." 

"Poppy, you—" he cut himself short, taking in a slow breath, closing his eyes before meeting mine again. "You didn't make me uncomfortable." 

I paused in confusion. "No?" 

"No," he shook his head, "but you terrified me." 

"I.. did?" 

"You scared me, Poppy. I had no idea what just happened, I still don't really know." 

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Oh," was all I could say. 

"I don't... I mean, are you okay?"