The Dissolving Flower

Kabanata 30

SEPHTIS

"WOW! Aryl is really good at playing the instrument," namamanghang sabi ni Violet habang pababa silang dalawa ni Lis.

"Yeah," he answered when they landed.

Pagbaba nila, may lumapit na Desert Fae sa kanila at inalok si Violet na sumayaw. Kaagad naman nitong tinanggap ang kamay at nagtungo sa ibang mga fae na sumasayaw rin kasama ang kanilang partner.

Napangiti na lang siya. Parang kanina na lang galit na galit ito sa mga fae pero ngayon, nakikisali na sa kanila.

Pinaligiran ng mga Desert Fae ang lumiliyab na apoy habang sumasabay ang tunog ng nasusunog ng mga patay na sanga sa musikang nililikha ng instrumento ni Aryl. Ang mga lumilipad na abong papel ang nagsilbing niyebe sa gitna ng disyerto.

Lis glanced at Aryl who was sitting on the wooden chair opposite from his direction while playing a harp. The melody was soft and calming. Like a storm who just passed from a headache—slow and peaceful—lifting his mood to the clouds.

Napunta ang tingin niya sa kaliwa at saktong nahuli niya ang kaniyang butler na nakangiting nakatingin kay Aryl.

Ngumisi siya at dahan-dahang lumapit. Hindi pa rin siya nagawang mapansin nito kahit na nakaupo na siya sa tabi nito. Magsasalita na sana siya ngunit nagulat siya nang bigla na lamang mawala ang mga ngiti nito, bumagsak ang mga balikat at napayuko. Malalim ang bawat binibitiwan nitong hininga.

"Here you go again," simula niya dahilan para mapaigtad ito sa gulat.

"Master, since when did you sit here? I didn't know you woke up already."

Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi at pinatong ang kamay sa ulo nito. "You're free to smile, Aster."

Napakurap naman ito at hindi nakagalaw. Ilang sandali pa ay umiwas ito ng tingin.

"Do I really deserve it?" he whispered.

Napangiti naman siya bago ginulo ang buhok nito. "Of course, you do."

However, Aster frowned. It did not comfort him. Mabilis nitong winaksi ang kaniyang kamay at nilingon siya na salubong ang mga kilay. "How could you say that? I killed my own family. My mom, my dad, my twin, and even my relatives. I killed them all!" Tumaas ang boses nito. Nanginginig ang mga kamay habang nagsasalita. "Everything that I cared about died just because I was happy. And now you're telling me to feel that again? What if I lose someone important again? What if I will repeat the same mistake I did? What if—"

"What if this time you will lose nothing?" He cut his words and gave him a reassuring smile.

The frustrating look from his butler allowed Lis to realize that the man he was staring at was still a child trapped by the past. He always acted strong, calm, and reserved when in fact he was just suppressing himself from the things that might lead him into attachment. Ito palagi ang nag-aalaga sa kaniya kaya minsan nakakalimutan niyang mas matanda pala siya. That the man was the younger one. That Aster was his and Cross' younger brother.

"You don't understand, master. I don't deserve to be happy. I . . . I don't deserve her." Nasapo nito ang noo at napatingin sa kalangitan. "I am a murderer. A murderer like me should be suffering, not the other way around."

He sighed. "Ikaw talagang bata ka. Ang liit-liit mo pa naman dati. Ganito oh." He gestured his hand in front while remembering how small Aster was when they first met. "Palagi ka ring umiiyak kaya hindi namin alam ni Cross kung paano ka patatahinin. You were ten that time when Mama took you in, naaalala mo pa? And for your information, Mama didn't take you because she wanted you to suffer." He gently touched his forehead with his finger. "She wanted you to live, Aster."