My Missing Doctor

3. Anti

"My attempts at helping you are only hindering your obvious progress at a less violent life. As such..." He turned back and headed for the door. "I will stop trying to help." I watched as he left and the voices came back even louder.

'You fucked up. He's finally given up you. Isn't there some moral law that doctors have? How could you have fucked up that badly, Anti?'

"Shut up..." I grabbed my hair and just stared blindly as the voices just got louder and louder.

'You fucked up badly. Even Henrik is fed up. How much longer until Jack finally kicks you out?'

"S҉͟hUŢ͜ u͞P͝!̢ "

'It's only a matter of time now. Your sanity is holding on by a thread. How much longer can you last without the doctor to patch you back up?'

"S͘̕H̸̡U̡̕͏T̨͡ T͏Ḩ̨͟E̴͝ ̷̕͟F̀ỨCK̴̨ ̡͢U͞҉P̢!͠"

"Anti?"I looked over to see Jack standing there, fear evident in his eyes.

'Why don't you show him something to really be scared about?'

I shook myself from my thoughts and ran a hand through my hair.

"What's up, Jack?" I watched as he started to fidget with his hands and I sighed. "Jack?"

"Dinners ready..." I narrowed my eyes in confusion and he just shrugged."I thought I would let you know. I didn't know if you were hungry or..."

"Jack when am I ever NOT hungry." I said while laughing, trying to make Jack feel a little better. He just smiled awkwardly and I stopped. "Yeah, ok... I'll meet you guys at the table." He looked at me questioningly and I held my wrists out to him, showing all the cuts on my arms. "I gotta patch myself up."

"I thought Dr..." My face paled and his eyes went wide, making him stop and look towards the kitchen. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good Jack. I'll meet you at the table." He nodded and made his way to the kitchen as I just sat there watching. I sighed and got up, stumbling a bit before I managed to climb the stairs and make it to my bedroom.

'Anti, we have a serious problem here. You know this right?' I glanced over at the bed and groaned. "Oh, don't be like that."

"I thought I told you to SH҉U̴T͡ ̡͜Ù̶P̶ !" I bared my fangs and the sick demon copy shit that is my insanity personified just laughed. It was sickening and distorted.

"You can't ignore me forever, Anti."

"I got this far without you, Sam." His eyes narrowed and my chest seized up.

"You denied me. And that's not good, kid. You're denying a part of yourself. What would Sean say?"

"His name is Jack! And he would be proud that I am trying to change..."I watched as Sam hoped off the bed. He walked over looping his arm around my waist and spinning me around till I was facing the mirror.

"Look at you, Anti. Truly look at yourself." He rested his head on my shoulder and hugged me tightly. I looked in the mirror and tears started to well up. I was broken. Anyone could tell that. I had cuts up and down my arms. Bruises covered my torso and legs, and I can't even count the number of burns. I closed my eyes and felt as Sam hugged me tighter. "Don't turn away from that which is seen." He spun me around till I was facing him and crossed his arms. "Take responsibility. You did this to yourself. You made yourself weak."

"I am not..."

"YES, YOU ARE! You are weak. You are worthless. You are shit." I narrowed my eyes and he smiled widely, holding his arms out to the side. "But that's only because you're holding back."