My Missing Doctor

5. Anti

I don't really know how long I stayed in my room. Jack kept trying to get in but I wouldn't let him. I kept giving him all these excuses like... I was sick. I was tired. I was out. Yes, I even went so far as to do that stupid... Anti isn't here at the moment please leave a message after the beep... like a total moron.

'You can't keep hiding, Anti.' Sam brushed the hair out of my eyes and I frowned seeing how puffed up from crying they were. "He's leaving. The least you could do is say goodbye."

"Shut up, Sam." I groaned as I slowly made my way to the window. I opened it and took a deep breath as the cool air wrapped around me. He is right though. I can't keep hiding away.

'Of course, I'm right, and you should listen to me more. I'm always right. You need to get out more. You need to stop crying. YOU NEED TO LET ME OUT!' I flipped him off and he disappeared. It doesn't mean he's gone. He's never gone. Just... out of sight. I sighed and gripped my hair in frustration as my thoughts ran rampant. Do I leave? What if something happens? I'm not in the best state right now. What if I see him? What am I supposed to say? Goodbye? Hope you have a good life out there far... far away from me... In the real world.

I got all the way down the stairs when I finally froze up. He's going to the real world. He's going to L.A. For Dr. Iplier. Fucking Caleb Iplier! The moron doctor ego that Mark created. No wonder they need Schneep but... This is frustrating. I can't get a grip on my thoughts. I don't understand my feelings. I never really could. That's the price of insanity I'm afraid. I've been getting better. I've been doing so well. Sure I lash out at Dark literally every time I see him but that's because I can. He's the only one outside of Jacks ego's that can fight me.

Don't get me wrong. IT PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF THAT A POLITICIAN CAN BEAT ME SO EASILY! I will beat him. I will win. I will show everyone what I am capable of but at the same time... If it were anyone other than him. I would hurt them. I would lose it and then where would I be? Sometimes the only way to keep your insanity in check is to let it lose within reason circumstances. In a way where you're in check. Dark would never let me go completely nuts... even if I ever do beat him... and I will... He'll do whatever it takes to keep me from going overboard. That's why... that...

That's why I trust him.

Even if I don't act it. Dark is a good friend. One I am VERY jealous of but still... What's new when it comes to me. I'm a demon of insanity... nothing about me makes sense.

I walked into the kitchen ignoring the stares from Chase and Jack and grabbed a thing of milk before sitting at the table and pouring myself some cereal. I haven't eaten in god knows how long and I was starving. But at the same time... I didn't want to eat. Like I said. Nothing makes sense...

"Anti?" I glanced up to see Jack looking at his hands and I frowned.

"Yes, Jack. I'm out of my room. Sorry if... Sorry if I worried you." He just nodded as I started eating my cereal. Chase scoffed and I shot him a dirty look.

"You didn't just worry him, you moron. Dapper's been watching your door like a hawk and Henrik..." His eyes went wide and he stopped, suddenly downing his cup of coffee as if he was so very thirsty. I narrowed my eyes at him and he tried to look away.

"What about the Doctor?" I laughed slightly and his face went white. "I'm sure the poor bastard is going crazy. I mean he spoke about wanting to leave but I doubt he'll actually be able to." They both shot up and stared at me with a horrified expression. I just smiled and shook my head. It was funny really. "I bet you he going through all his stuff right now cry like a little baby cuz he can't leave his 'family'."

"Anti, Henrik's gone." Chase whispered as he slowly set his cup down. I just burst out laughing.

"Ha, very funny Chase. But that isn't gonna work..." I saw how dark his eyes were and I froze. Jack sighed and looked away. "Wait... No, I know I was in my room for a while... but he wouldn't just leave. Right?"

"You've been in your room for... well, a month. He left a week later." My blood froe and I could my smile twitching. I wouldn't let it drop though. I just kept smiling. I think that scared them more than the slight glitch.

"He wouldn't le̴a̶ve̵ ̶wi̸tho̸ut s̵a̶y̶i̸n̴g̶ ̸g̶o̴o̴d̴b̵y̸e̵." I spotted Sam out the corner of my eyes pissed to high heaven and my head twitched as it started to get to me. Chase tensed up and I frowned. He's going to protect Jack no matter what. That's why he's always on guard around me. I've come to terms with that. I know he doesn't hate me. It's just who he is. But to flat out lie to me, even knowing how it would...

"I told him to say goodbye. He said he would... He was so stern about that." I felt the tears well up as Jack spoke, staring into his coffee. "I never once thought he would actually just leave you. To be honest. We all thought you would go with him."

"W̶h̴y̷.̸.̷.̸ ̴w̷h̸.̷.̷.̶" I could hear Sam screaming in my head and the glitching got worse. "Y̶o̴u̸'̸r̷e̸ ̷l̸y̷i̵n̸g̶.̴ ̵Y̸o̵u̸ ̷b̸o̸t̵h̶ ̸h̷a̵v̷e̵ ̴t̵o̴ ̵b̸e̶.̶.̵.̵ ̸i̵t̶'̵s̶ ̵n̶o̷t̸ ̶n̴i̸c̶e̵.̷ ̶Y̴o̶u̷ ̶k̷n̶o̶w̶.̴.̷.̴ ̸Y̵o̵u̴ ̵k̷n̶o̴w̶ ̶t̷h̵e̸ ̶k̴i̸n̵d̴ ̶o̶f̶ ̵p̶e̶r̴s̴o̷n̸ ̴h̸e̵ ̸i̴s̷.̷ ̷H̶e̵ ̷w̴o̵u̶l̴d̴n̶'̵t̷.̸.̴.̶ ̵H̵e̶.̴.̵.̵"

"Dude." I looked over at Chase as the tears finally started to fall. "I watched him go with Will myself."

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