My Missing Doctor

18. Anti

Anti... I'm losing my damn mind! I want to scream and I think I do scream but all I hear is glitching. Anti, stop... I threw a mug against the wall and laughed as it shattered into a million little tiny piece. I wish that was that woman's skull. I imagined it was the woman's skull and the room pulsed with energy as I laughed looking for something else to throw. ANTI...

I spun around and chucked a knife at the door watching it stick like a dart to a dartboard. Bullseye right where her throat would be. Right... Maybe I should try again? Maybe I should use the actual lady as a target! Then I'd know for sure. Then I'd...

ANTISEPTICEYE! I froze looking over to see Sam glitching in and out of reality. I narrowed my eyes and he smiled sadly. Finally. Anti you need to stop.

"S̴t̸o̷p̴.̴.̶.̸ ̸S̸t̵o̸p̵ ̴w̶h̸a̶t̷?̴ ̴I̶ ̴h̸a̷v̵e̵n̶'̴t̸ ̷e̶v̴e̵n̴ ̵b̶e̸g̸u̵n̸.̴" He frowned as I walked over pulling my knife out of the door and reveled in the sound it made as it unstuck. "I̵'̵m̴ ̴i̶t̶c̵h̵i̶n̴g̵ ̵f̷o̸r̴ ̶s̸o̶m̸e̷ ̸g̷o̵o̴d̸ ̵b̸l̸o̵o̴d̷s̸h̴e̸d̸.̶ ̵C̴o̸m̶e̶ ̸o̸n̵ ̶S̴a̷m̷.̷ ̶I̸s̴n̷'̵t̶ ̴t̴h̸i̵s̴ ̵w̸h̵a̶t̵ ̸y̷o̴u̶ ̶w̵a̶n̷t̴e̸d̴?̸"

Some fun yes. He hugged himself tightly as the glitching got worse and I frowned. But there is a difference between letting loose and losing yourself, Anti. You need to stop.

"S̴a̵m̸!̸" I whined as the buzz in the room got louder. "I̵ ̵w̸a̶n̴t̷ ̸t̶o̷ ̷s̸e̸e̸ ̷s̶o̴m̶e̵ ̶b̶l̶o̸o̵d̸.̵"

You need to find Henrik! I tensed up as he yelled out and I started to shake. Anti you need him.

"I̴ ̵d̸o̶n̴'̴t̸ ̷n̸e̷e̷d̸ ̷h̸i̵m̶.̸ ̸I̸ ̵n̴e̵e̸d̷ ̸t̵o̴ ̸h̴a̷v̶e̷ ̶s̸o̴m̷e̵ ̵f̶u̷n̸.̶ ̸B̶e̷s̵i̷d̵e̵s̵ ̴t̷h̶e̷ ̵b̸i̸t̸c̷h̵ ̸d̵e̸s̴e̶r̶v̷e̴s̵ ̵i̴t̷.̶ ̶S̸h̸e̷ ̷c̷a̷l̸l̴e̵d̵ ̵m̴e̸ ̴p̸s̴y̶c̷h̵o̸.̶" I heard my madness driven laughter reverberate around the room and Sam practically broke apart in glitches. Tears fell from his face as he finally came back together enough to be whole and he shot me this look. "I̶ ̵m̵e̴a̴n̴ ̵I̵ ̸a̶m̶ ̵b̸u̶t̸ ̷s̷h̸e̶ ̶d̵i̴d̵n̸'̸t̵ ̴n̵e̶e̵d̸ ̴t̶o̷ ̵s̶a̸y̵ ̸i̴t̸.̷"

He pulls you back, Anti. He hates me. He's the only one that drives the madness out. Why would I want it out? You're right, Sam. It's easier just to let go... You're not letting go! I frowned as he walked closer and I cringed at the pain in his eyes. You're giving up. You're giving up everything including what makes you you... Can't you feel it?

"I̴ ̴h̴a̷v̴e̶ ̵n̵o̷ ̷c̷l̶u̷e̶ ̴w̴h̶a̵t̸ ̶y̶o̵u̸r̵.̷.̸.̷" He cried out as he fell to his knees and I raised an eyebrow at him. I wasn't falling for this. This was all an act anyway. "Y̴o̷u̸'̷r̶e̶ ̵t̵h̵e̵ ̸o̴n̸e̶ ̶t̶e̸l̷l̶i̴n̴g̸ ̴m̴e̴ ̵t̴o̴ ̶l̸e̵t̴ ̴l̶o̷o̵s̸e̷.̷ ̶N̵o̸w̵ ̷y̷o̵u̴'̷r̵e̷ ̶s̸a̵y̸i̸n̷g̸ ̷d̸o̴n̶'̵t̸ ̷g̶i̶v̸e̵ ̸i̶n̴?̵"

Don't give up... He looked up at me in pain and I frowned. I couldn't care less about the blood you spill or the bodies you leave behind you, Anti.

"T̶h̴e̶n̵ ̵w̸h̶y̶.̵.̶.̶"

You're losing yourself in the madness. It's taking over completely. It...

"F̷e̷e̶l̴s̶ ̴f̷u̶c̴k̶i̵n̷g̷ ̷f̷a̴n̷t̴a̷s̵t̶i̸c̴.̵ ̶F̸o̵r̷ ̶t̸h̷e̵ ̵f̷i̶r̷s̵t̸ ̴t̴i̴m̷e̴ ̵s̷i̴n̷c̷e̶ ̵I̷ ̴c̵a̵n̴ ̸r̴e̷m̴e̸m̷b̷e̵r̸ ̴I̵ ̸f̶e̷e̸l̶ ̷a̶l̷i̸v̵e̷.̴" His eyes narrowed and I scoffed.

But you're not. The Anti I know... The real one... He's dying. He would've done something drastic to get his ass kicked just so he could have a reason to see the doctor. He knew how much the doctor helped him.

"H̴e̷ ̸w̵a̶s̷ ̴w̶e̵a̷k̷.̵" His eyes went wide as I held y knife out towards him smiling like a madman. "I̸'̶m̴ ̵b̸e̵t̸t̶e̸r̴.̵"

You're blind. Anti, you need to find Henrik. He walked over in between glitches and tried to take my hand. Talk to him. Just that will even help. You need him. He helps clear that mind of yours.

"Y̴o̴u̴ ̵s̵a̷i̷d̵ ̴h̷e̵ ̴m̵a̴d̴e̴ ̴m̶e̴ ̴w̸e̵a̷k̸.̸ T̷h̸a̷t̸ ̵m̷y̵ ̷f̴e̶e̸l̸i̶n̸g̷s̸ ̴f̶o̴r̶ ̸h̴i̷m̵ ̷m̶a̶d̸e̷ ̶m̴e̵ ̴w̵e̶a̴k̶.̵" His eyes grew dark as he pulled away again and I frowned as another bout of glitching took him over. What is going on with him? I'm the glitch. He's never done that. "Y̵o̷u̵'̴r̵e̵ ̵t̴h̶e̷ ̴o̵n̴e̷ ̸t̸h̵a̴t̷'̵s̷ ̶b̴e̴e̴n̴ ̸t̸e̸l̷l̶i̶n̵g̷ ̷m̵e̷ ̴t̶o̵ ̵s̴t̸o̴p̸ ̴f̷i̸g̷h̴t̴i̵n̸g̷.̸ ̶N̶o̵w̷ ̸t̷h̵a̶t̵ ̷I̸ ̴a̵m̶,̷ ̷y̸o̸u̵ ̵t̴e̸l̸l̸i̴n̸g̷ ̵m̷e̶ ̵t̵o̸ ̶g̴o̴ ̸f̶i̸n̶d̸ ̵t̴h̵e̶ ̷d̶o̷c̸t̷o̷r̶.̸ ̵I̷ ̷d̷o̴n̶'̶t̵ ̵u̷n̵d̷e̴r̶s̵t̶a̷n̴d̴.̵ ̵Y̴o̴u̵'̶r̵e̸ ̸m̵y̸ ̶m̵a̵d̸n̶e̸s̴s̶,̶ ̸y̴o̴u̸ ̵s̶h̶o̵u̶l̴d̷ ̸b̴e̶.̸.̴.̸"

But I'm not your insanity, Anti. I stopped short hearing his voice echo in the silent room. I'm nothing but a character you mind cooked up to put a face to the bad thoughts in your head. A devil on your shoulder. Once you're gone... He glitched again disappearing and I tensed up. So am I.

"S̷A̸M̶?̵!̵" I spun around looking everywhere for him but he was just gone. "S̵A̷M̷!̶" Nothing. I stopped short finally noticing the state my room was in and I frowned. It was a total mess. Things thrown about, broken, and torn. I walked over to this shattered mess on the floor and fell to my knees. I broke my mug. When did I brake my mug?

I picked up some of the pieces and felt the tears start to fall. I really must be losing it if I broke this. Sam's right. I need to find Henrik. I slowly stood up hugging myself to try and hold what little sanity I had left together and glitched out. I glitched right into Marks house not even bothering to care about manners. Of course, Mark jumped the moment he saw me but Dark ran over to try and keep me steady.

"Anti..."

"W̵-̵W̶h̵e̴r̷e̶ ̴H̸e̶n̵r̴i̴k̸?̶" I groaned as my body slowly started to glitch. His eyes went dark as he looked back at Mark. "D̸-̷D̵a̷r̵k̷?̴"

"He's not here." I tensed up feeling the pain get worse and Dark frowned. "He left to go to work."

"H̶-̴H̴e̸'̷s̴ ̸a̵t̸ ̶w̶o̶r̵k̵?̷" He nodded and I frowned looking at the floor. I could feel my hand shaking so bad desperately begging to hold a knife. It took everything I had not to listen. "U̷h̸.̶.̷.̴ ̷I̶ ̴s̸h̷o̷u̶l̵d̵n̸'̵t̵ ̶b̵e̶.̷.̵.̵"

"You need him... Don't you?" I looked up to see him looking behind him and I frowned. "Like Will needs me?" I nodded and he sighed. "Then you need to go find him. It'll only get worse until you do."

"H̷-̷H̴e̷'̸s̶ ̸w̷-̷w̴o̷r̸k̷i̴n̵g̵.̶.̷.̵" Dark narrowed his eyes and I shot him this look of confusion.

"Now not when you lose that selfishness of yours, Anti. Go find him. And kick his ass for me too. That asshole has no idea what it's like for you." I smiled a little as he let me go. I didn't even remember glitching out. Just that I was standing in front of these giant doors.