I'm Your Enemy (Gilbert Blythe X OC)

Loss

"There's someone at the door for you." Charles says from behind the bedroom door. I stand up from my bed where I was playing cards with Cole and head for the front door.

Gilbert went home the day after the night at the library. I hadn't seen him now in almost a week and that's why I was hoping to see him at the door. But instead, there stood Ron.

"Ron?" I smiled, hugging him. He smiled back, taking me into his tight embrace. "What are you doing here?"

"I came for a visit. I haven't seen you in quite a while."

I pulled away from his embrace and opened the door wider for him to enter. He came in and took off his scarf, hat and coat, handing them to Charles. We went into a sitting room and he started speaking.

"I've missed you, you know."

"I missed you to. Where's Dani?"

"Working. We found a new place. We opened a new bakery."

"Oh, that's amazing." I told him. He nodded, smiling in agreement.

"A visit isn't actually everything I came for." He stiffened.

"Oh?"

He stood up from the couch and headed for mine. He sat beside me before saying "I love you."

"I love you too."

"No. You don't understand. I love you."  I began to understand. Understand the actual meaning of the word he was saying.

"Ron, I love Gil-"

"I know. I'm not asking anything from you. I just wanted to tell you before it's too late." He told me, reaching to hold my hands. I squinted at him.

"Too late?"

He nodded. "Flora, I have cancer."

My breath got stuck in my throat. Everything stopped. My heart dropped. I couldn't feel the tips of my fingers. Before I could even register everything, a tear ran down my cheek.

"Ron..."

"I've accepted it. I've accepted that I don't have long, and I took an oath with myself to tell everyone the truth. Tell them things they should know about me before it's too late. And I came to tell you that I love you."

Words were something so distant to me at that moment. No words could describe how I was feeling. No words could say what I wanted to say.

"I'm glad you told me." I said, wiping away the few tears that were escaping. I have to be strong. For him. He has cancer, and I'm acting like I'm the one dying.

"This will probably be the last time I'll see you, Florence. Just know that it was an honor to be your friend."

I couldn't hold it. The sobbs escaped my throat without warning. The feeling of loss already swallowing me up.

"You'll always be my friend. No matter where you are." I told him, reaching for his embrace again. This one was different. This one was more meaningful. I held onto him for longer, with a stronger grip. Knowing that this was the last time I'd hold him like this. "Does Dani know?"

"She does. She was the first person I told. She was heartbroken."

Surely finding out that your twin brother is dying, is not easy to deal with. I can't imagine the pain Dani must be feeling.

"Keep an eye on the sunset." He kissed my cheek before standing up from the couch. He got his things from Charles and headed out the door without another word. I couldn't move. I sat on the couch, still consumed by shock, staring ahead of myself at the wall.

Few people know the pain of true loss. And I don't mean the death of that one distant uncle who you've met three times. But of someone so close to you. Someone who you admire. Someone who you can truly say you loved. Because the loss of that person is what destroyed me those months ago when I lost my parents. And now I have to feel it all over again. And no words that you read can describe that feeling. Loss. Loss is just a word. 4 letters. But the feeling of loss. That's something else. That's something I know I'll have to endure again and again until the day that other people feel that feeling of loss towards my death. And to think there there are people who truly love me like that. That love me so much that when it's my time to go, they'll feel this feeling... I can't help but think that love is pain. Love is loss. I can find so many reasons for why I should not accept love. But yet, I've come to agree with it. Love is powerful.

Without a warning, Cole was at my side, rubbing my back, soothing my tears away with comfortable words. Had he known what had happened or just seen my tears streak down and decided to comfort me? I didn't know. And didn't care. I just wanted him there with me. Holding me. Holding me tightly. Maybe he'll hug me so tight that the feeling of loss vanishes. Though I wish feelings worked like that, I know I will have to endure this forever. Because loss is something thag sticks. It sticks and it'll never go away. It might be easier to endure with time, yes, but never will the feeling go away completely. You'll have to live with it. Be prepared with a seat in your home just for loss, because it never leaves.

"You're okay." Cole told me.

I'm not okay.

I'M NOT OKAY.

"I'm okay." I told him. And still, after all of that. Still, I tried to convince myself that I truly was okay. This is powerful. This 4 letter word. It is very much powerful.