Shivley: A Now United Story

Ch 51: It'll Be Okay

Shawn had left to go tell the rest of the group the news while Shivani and Noah were still processing what they had just heard. Shivani's way of processing was pacing while Noah was just sitting on the edge of his bed and shaking his head every now and then. 

What was Bailey's reaction to this? Shivani wondered this, but almost immediately she felt guilty. Why did she care how he reacted? She knew she should be more worried about Noah, but she couldn't help but wonder. Would Bailey make this experience more difficult than it needed to be? Would he rub it in Noah's face? Even as she was halfway through this thought she immediately knew the answer: No. Bailey May was a lot of things and he had been a lot of things to Shivani during the time they knew each other, but she knew after that conversation she overheard between him and Noah that he wouldn't do anything like that to Noah. She still wasn't sure what he thought about her. 

"Hmm," Noah said interrupting her thoughts. "You know what? This is fine. This is okay. It's a masterclass in acting. We just have to pretend!" He stood up suddenly as though he'd finally understood the point of this "exercise." "It's acting!"

"Noah are you okay?" He was acting a little erratic which was a little unusual for Noah. The only other time Shivani had seen Noah so worked up was when he thought she had feelings for Bailey. Suddenly his reaction made perfect sense and even though it had been 3 months, it was clear that Noah was still insecure when it came to Bailey. 

She went over to Noah and pulled him in for a hug. At first he was still tensed, but then he relaxed into the hug. "You have nothing to be worried about, you know that right?" Shivani said softly.

Noah sighed. "I know. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just...I can't believe that you chose me. And the idea of you with anyone else scares me because I'm scared you'll leave me. But knowing that it's Bailey? That scares me more because you almost chose him."

Shivani pulled back suddenly. "What?"

Noah looked confused. "Am I wrong about that?"

Now Shivani was the one who was confused. "I didn't almost choose him. He kissed me and then confused me and then told me we should fake date so Simon would choose me for the group." As she said that it dawned on her that that was probably the reason why Simon had wanted Shivani and Bailey to be shipped by fans. "But I never liked him. I like you. And honestly I don't understand why you chose me. I mean...I'm not even popular with the fans and you have so many girls in your DMs who are way prettier than me."

"Stop. I like you and I don't care about random strangers in my DMs. And it hurts me to see you compare yourself to Hina, to random girls in my DMs, to strangers because I don't think you understand how fearless you are. You inspire me. Truly."

Shivani was glad she was still hugging Noah because she could feel the tears in her eyes. She didn't deserve to hear the words Noah was telling her, but she wanted to be someone who could accept these words. She wanted Noah to fully trust her so they could both tear down all of the walls between them. The only way to do this was by proving to Noah that Bailey meant nothing to her.

She pulled out of the hug with Noah and smiled a shaky smile. "Noah I would choose you every time because you are the one for me. I want to earn your trust so just know that every time I'm looking at anyone adoringly for the fan's sake, it's because I'm picturing your face. You mean everything to me and Bailey means nothing to me."

He nodded, but he seemed a little bit distant. She could tell it was bothering him that he couldn't do anything to stop this. 

"Okay," he said suddenly. "Let's go outside and start this circus. Oh and just in case I can't do this for a few hours-," he leaned down to kiss her. It was quick, but sweet. A reminder that what they had was special. He smiled, "Now let's go join everyone else."