Shivley: A Now United Story

Ch 14: When You're Ready

Currently listening to Shawn Mendes on repeat so all my titles will probably be Shawn songs for a while. <3

"Noah!" Shivani could feel her heart pounding as she nervously ran down the hall towards him.

Noah turned around, looking both embarrassed and confused at the same time. "Look you don't have to explain, okay? I get it."

Now Shivani was the confused one. "You get what?"

Noah cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Um... you know. I get that you like Bailey and um... I get whatever that is. You don't have to explain at all. You can do whatever you want."

"Look I understand how it must've seemed, but it wasn't I promise. I don't think I liked Bailey... I was just, uhh," Shivani fumbled for the right word, "I think I was infatuated by the idea of him. And then he kissed me the other day and I was confused because it was my first kiss and-"

"Wait that was your first kiss?"

"No, actually do you remember last night how we were practicing our interview questions while we were waiting for Bailey so I could help him be a nice person?"

Noah nodded.

"Yeah, well when I ran after him to ask what was wrong, he kissed me."

"Oh. Well, I did wonder why you didn't come back so after an hour I went back to my room."

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry, I completely forgot, it's just been a crazy night-"

"I get it. I understand and look technically we've only known each other like three days so I get it."

"No Noah, listen to me. I know we've only known each other three days, but I really respect and care about you. I mean, you're like my best friend here and basically after he kissed me, I realized I didn't want him to. But I also needed to talk to him and when I went to tell him that, he sort of cornered me and then... I don't know I guess my curiosity took over?"

"Listen, it's normal. I mean Bailey's this hot guy who's been mean to you this week, and he can't seem to form a connection with any member, but for some reason he kisses you and tells you he likes you. And honestly I get why he likes you, I think I just didn't expect the feelings to be mutual."

"I hope you know they're not? And I'm sorry, I wish you didn't see me like this. This is so out of character for me, I'm usually a good girl."

"Okay, first of all, don't ever apologize - you did nothing wrong and if anyone needs to apologize, it's Bailey for kissing you without permission. Twice."

"Well the second time was sort of my fault... sor- wait I'm not sorry, anyways, continue."

"Right so second of all, I would never judge you. Especially about a kiss. I mean it's not like you murdered someone, you made out. And is Bailey the standard for respectful men? I would hope not, but who he is says nothing about the person you are." Noah took a step closer to Shivani and put his hand on her shoulder. "You're a good person Shivani and if anything I'm sorry for you thinking that I would judge you, because I wouldn't."

Noah smiled and pulled Shivani in for a hug. Shivani was surprised, but she leaned into Noah's arms. Something about him made her feel so safe and understood. Around him, she didn't feel like she needed to be walking on a million fragile egg shells. Noah's arms were surprisingly strong, and Shivani could feel the muscle under his oversized sweatshirt.

She gently stepped back out of the hug and smiled. "Thank you. I'm so used to apologizing for things that I sometimes I feel like I'm apologizing for my existence. And then if I don't apologize for my existence I feel guilty and entitled and oh my goodness I think I need a break from men."