Wheels Have Each Other

34. Realization

Italics - Past Jeongyeon's POV
Normal words - Present Jeongyeon's POV

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Dear Mom, Dad, Yugie Oppa, Ggukie Oppa and Jeongie, 

I've been hiding my inner feelings from all of you for a while now. And I'm sorry for that. I've been battling depression for almost three years and I think I've finally reached the peak. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, I don't have the strength to write my feelings down on paper, either. Just know that I love you. And I'm sorry I couldn't find the energy in myself to keep loving all of you by staying on earth itself. I'll do that from the skies instead. I'm just really tired and have lost even the last drop of hope I used to have. Signing off, Ji. Goodbye.

Jeongyeon knew the second she read the letter, that it was bullshit. The whole 'depression' thing was utter bullshit. Jiyeon had received enough love from people around her (a little pretence-love as well) to not be depressed. She had never shown any signs of being depressed as well. 

More than anything else, being one of the witnesses to what had happened at the university a couple of days ago, Jeongyeon knew exactly what led her best friend to kill herself. She also knew this letter was Jiyeon's way of making sure Jeongguk wasn't blamed for her death when he was literally the reason it happened. 

She didn't expect him to be at the funeral, however, but it surprised her to find him bawling his eyes out with Yugyeom. 

'The fucking actor son of a-'

She cut her thoughts off, not wanting to curse her innocent aunt, and stormed towards Jeongguk, yanking him up by his collar. 

Jeongguk, who was still crying, looked shocked and tried to get her hands off of him, but Yugyeom got to it and helped him right away. 

"What the fuck, Jeongie?!" he asked, his voice hoarse from all the crying that he had done for his sister. 

"H-He...he is the reason she killed h-herself!! H-He invalidated her entire existence so, so, so badly at the uni the other day, I was there!!" she cried as she pointed angrily and aggressively at Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk gasped. "Wh-What are you saying, J-Jeongyeon?! Wh-Why on earth would I do-"

"YOU SHUT UP!! I DON'T WANNA HEAR A SINGLE WORD FROM THAT FILTHY MOU-"

"JEONGIE, STOP THIS NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!!" Yugyeom thundered. "I showed you her letter!! Why would she include Ggukie's name in it if what you are saying is true?!  And I don't even want to entertain that thought in the first place!! Ggukie is literally like her mentor. He has been there for her so, so much, why on earth would you accuse him of something like that?! She even talked to him last night when she wouldn't even answer our calls!!" 

Jeongyeon opened her mouth and closed it right away. She didn't expect Yugyeom to not believe her. But she should have known. Jeongguk had acted like he cared about her for so long and so well, after all. 

She looked around and her eyes fell on Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon, who were mourning in a corner of the room. Just the fact that Seokjin and Hoseok weren't coming to defend her despite being there that night told her that she wasn't going to win this argument. 

She silently backed away and minded her business. However, it was as she served water for a few of the guests that she heard Jeongguk mumble "...is that why y-you guys aren't talking to me? Because of what she accused me of? D-Did I really do that?"

She frowned, the frown increasing more when there was no verbal response. There was only a sigh and after a few seconds, she dared to peek around the corner to see what was wrong.