[[ TEMPTATIONS ]] » saiouma «

ｔｗｅｎｔｙ － ｓｉｘ

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𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿
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To say that Kokichi was dreading the trial would be an understatement. He was scared stiff. But, the Kokichi that the rest of the students knew wouldn't be scared. He had to keep his facade up, his mask strong. So, he was stood in his dormitory bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, calming his nerves and building the walls up.

He'd mostly recovered from the sickly panic attack, and now was simply gathering himself in preparation. His clothes still stuck uncomfortably to his body and he still felt that sick feeling in his stomach.

But he knew. He knew that now it was all over. The rest of the students would never see him the same. Which, he wasn't too bothered about. But, there was someone. Shuichi. Once the detective uncovered the truth behind Kokichi's plan, everything would go to shit.

Kokichi could already see Shuichi's betrayed look, the scorn of disgust and repulsion he'd flash at Kokichi whenever he saw him. He knew it would break Shuichi's heart to know that Kokichi initiated a murder. He'd see him as a monster; a disgrace. He'd never even consider loving Kokichi again.

'Who would ever love someone like you?'

It was... exactly what Kokichi wanted. If they were living normal lives, away from the killing game, then things would be different. But Shuichi had to hate Kokichi. It was for his own good. Even though it would break Kokichi too.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Mom had taught him, when he was only a scrawny-looking weak little five-year old. Sometimes he'd wake up from the night terrors that tortured him to current day, panicking, unable to breathe. Mom was always there.

In stressful situations, he'd repeat the same breaths as he did as a child. Mom would rub his back and comfort him with soft spoken words and sing him back to sleep with a lullaby.

Mom was gone. He was alone now. Not even Shuichi could get close anymore. It was all over.

He was just waiting for the class trial announcement to go off. He sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He'd miss it. He'd miss the cuddles with Shuichi every night, the secret romantic rendezvous they'd find themselves partaking in. The kisses and the hand holding; even though Kokichi hated it, he'd miss it. He didn't know why. Or, perhaps he did, but would never admit the real reason. Some things are better left unknown. It hurts less that way.

The time finally came. The announcement played, and Kokichi looked up at the monitor.

"Well, I guess this is it." He stood upright and took a deep breath, getting ready for his inevitable downfall.

——— ☆ • ♧ • :🃏: • ♧ • ☆ ———

Acting was always Kokichi's strong suit. Whether it was acting cheery in the mornings in the care home even after sleepless nights that left him with black rings under his eyes, whether it was holding back the tears when his parents yelled to no end, whether it was during one of those dreaded class trials.

He acted. He lied. It was second nature to him. But god, did it hurt.

But lying would never hurt as much as seeing the look on Shuichi's face.

Betrayed. Hurt. Wounded. Distraught. Humiliated. Disgusted. None of those words could amount to the complete extremity of the look that Shuichi had on his face when he realised what a monster Kokichi was.