The Academy

Chapter Twenty Two

Tink:

   I wake up in the morning and I am tired and grumpy. "Are you okay?" Peter ask as me while I am eating. "No Peter, I'm not. I am exhausted and nauseas and my head hurts," I say, putting my bowl in the sink. "You should get some more sleep," he says, putting a hand on my belly. "I've tried. I can't. I lay down and I just see a list of things that need to be done and I feel the need to get up and do them," I say, closing my eyes and leaning against him. "I better be on the list," he says in my ear. "Nope! I'm pregnant, you are most definitely not on my to do list," I say, laying my head on his shoulder. I feel my feet lift off the ground and realise that Peter is carrying me up stairs.

    "I'm gonna sit with you, not leaving until after you are asleep," Peter says. "I love you," I whisper. "I know," he whispers back, laying me on his bed and tucking me in. He lays behind me and puts a hand on my belly. "I'm gonna take care of you," Peter promises. "I know you are," I say, lacing my fingers through his. Jace comes in and smiles at us. "Can I borrow your car?" He asks quietly. "Yeah. The keys are on the bathroom counter. Why?" Peter asks. "I'm taking Rose to the movies and it is too cold for my bike," he says, grabbing the keys and leaving.

     "Are you scared?" I ask Peter. "I thought you were trying to sleep," he whispers. There is a hint of something in his voice but I can't tell what, so I roll over. "So you are scared?" I ask, wiping a tear off his cheek. "I'm terrified. Not just the army. I'm scared of you having kids. I'm scared of losing you. I'm scared of getting married," he sighs. "Please don't. I am okay Peter. I'm going to be okay, and honestly, I don't think you could lose me if you tried," I say, and as I kiss him, he smiles. It's a sad smile and I seriously don't know what to do besides cuddle him tighter.

      The me not being afraid thing, that's total bull crap. It was bull crap when I told it to Rose and it remained bull crap when I told Peter. I am eighteen, I was not planning on having kids this early. I knew I wanted to have kids I just didn't know when. The marriage thing, something I gave Jace total control of, rips me to pieces every time I think about it. I'm not worried about losing Peter the way he is worried about losing me, but he is going to war. I am scared to death of him not coming back.

     "Are you okay?" Peter asks. "Yeah why?" I ask. "You are crying, does it hurt that bad?" He asks, rubbing my stomach. "No, I just started thinking and my thoughts scare me sometimes. That's all," I say, kissing him. "Stop kissing me Tinkerbell, you're supposed to be asleep," he says, tightening his grip on my waist. "Why? Are you having issues restraining your self?" I ask, leaning forward to kiss him again. "Yes," he mutters.

      Just to spite him, I kiss him again and kisses me back pulling me closer. Then he pulls my arms down from around his neck and sits up. "Nope! No, nope!" He exclaims. I laugh and roll back over. I am asleep within ten minutes.

      Waking up again is the most difficult thing ever. "No, I am so tired, I'm not moving," I groan, pulling the blankets closer. "It's noon Tink, get your beautiful self out of bed," Peter says in my ear. "If I kiss you until you can't breathe do I get to sleep some more?" I ask. "No, you have a dress fitting in three minutes. The wedding is on Friday," Logan says from the doorway. "Alright fine. Where do I need to be in ten minutes?" I ask. "Jean's room." Why does everyone know more than me about my own wedding?

      "Is Rose back yet?" I ask Peter, sitting up and stretching. "Accounted for," she says from across the room. "Let's go," I say, moving to get out of bed. All of the sudden a twist of pain occurs and I run to the bathroom, fighting the speed of a wave of nausea. "You okay?" Peter asks me from outside his bathroom. "I would say no, but it's probably just baby stuff," I say, splashing my mouth with water. "Correction, I'm gonna brush my teeth and then we can go," I say. Rose nods in agreement.

      We make our way down to Jean's room and there are literally clothes everywhere. Everywhere except for a raised platform in the middle of the room. Jace is sitting on her couch with a notebook and a pencil. "Alright, go put that on and then come out here to have Jean help you tie it up," Jace says, motioning to the dress. I pick it up an it's almost heavier than I am. I put it on and come back. "My little girl, all grown up and in a wedding dress," Logan says, coming into the room. "Do you like it?" I ask as Jean does some ties in the back and I lurch forward. "Okay, that is very tight," I breathe.

       "I love it. You look gorgeous. I brought you something to wear with it though," he says, bringing a box out from behind his back. "You know that thing about something old, something blue? Well these beauties are both," he says, holding out a pair of blue converse. "They were mom's, weren't they?" I ask. "Yeah, she was wearing them the day we met. High tops were kind of her thing," he says. I nod, smiling at the shoes. I really did not want to kill my feet. "I didn't-" Jace starts to say. "No, we know you didn't plan that for the wedding, but this is up to Tink," Logan says. "Jace, they're staying," I answer. Rose smiles at the dress after I am all dressed and completely in my princess outfit. "How do I look?" I ask. "Like a princess," Rose says.

     "Now, your turn," I say, motioning toward her dress which is laying on the couch. "Later. Right now, it's your time to try on the pretty dress and feel pretty," Rose says, helping me down from the platform. "Do you wanna do a run through of hair and make up?" Rose asks Jace, putting her hands on his shoulders from the back of the couch. "If you girls want to, go right on ahead," he says with a smile, throwing the notebook across the floor and pulling her over the back of the couch. "I love you," he sighs, holding her super tight. "I love you too?" She says as if she's unsure. "I'll explain later," he whispers, letting her get up. For the next two hours, I sit in a little chair and let Jean and Rose to my hair and make up, trying to plan ahead for Friday. What we finally end up with is pretty natural, and large curls in my hair.

    "It's perfect mom," I say the mom part on accident. The whole room goes silent. "Sorry, that was an accident," I say, tying my hair up and avoiding everyone's eyes. I'm embarrassed that their reaction was one of shock. "I grab a few make up wipes and quickly get the make up off and changing into my jeans and t-shirt. I leave the room with out a word and I realize it's raining.

     When I was a kid, I remember coming up deck and finding my mom laying in the pouring rain. "What are you doing?" I'd ask. "Well you see, I feel closer to your father when I lay in the rain. It reminds me of him," shed reply. So I'd lay with her, staring into the pouring rain, letting it soak through our clothes and just thinking. It took me a long time to realize that she laid in the rain to hide her tears. She'd think about Logan and I'd think about something like Peter and Neverland.

        I push through the back door and go lay on the field behind the institute. "Hey Mom, I haven't done this in a while, but I am getting married. I really wish you were here," I say, letting the rain mix with the already steady tears. "Umm, Peter and I are very happy. In fact, we are having twins. They are due in September. Mom, I miss you all the time. I understand why you left me and Killian and dad, but I still don't like that you did it. You were my best friend for the short time I knew you. I've learned that you don't have to know someone to miss them. The lack of their presence is what gets to you. I don't know if your even listening, but I hope where ever you are, your happy and you have two little girls with the man of your choice. I hope you know that you are still loved and we all miss you. My daughter will be named Wendy, I felt it suiting because I can already picture her being a beautiful girl who can handle herself and has a fiery spirit just like you. Mommy, I miss you. I want you back and I think that God needs to play fair because if he takes Peter away from me, I will literally jump off a roof. I already lost you, I can't lose anyone else with out going insane. Stay happy momma. I love you," I sob.